5 Things That Won't Help Your Relationship

In a world where we constantly try to avoid the pitfalls in marriage, there will still be mistakes and missteps.

Here are five surprising actions that don't bode well for the future of your—or anyone's—marriage.

1. Getting married after age 32

According to the Institute of Family Studies, the times they are a-changing when it comes to the age at which you marry and your odds of marital success. For many years, the older your age when you married, the more likely you were to succeed. The explanation was quite simple, or so it seems: Younger people aren't emotionally or financially equipped to handle the weight of marriage.

However, about 10 years ago, a different picture started to emerge.

Writer Nicholas H. Wolfinger looked at data from the National Survey of Family Growth from 2006 to 2010 and found that, before age 32, each additional year of age at marriage reduces the odds of divorce by 11 percent.

But after age 32, the odds of divorce increase by 5 percent per year. Statistically speaking, waiting a few years to get married does appear to negatively affect your likelihood of marital success.

One explanation is that there may be some truth in the statement that ignorance is bliss. It is hypothesized that older individuals who have more relationships in their past are less likely to settle for less in their future.

Are you strong enough to handle marriage when it gets tough?

Source: Alex Green / Pexels

2. Being an overly affectionate newlywed

Some people are annoyingly adorable as they bask in their honeymoon bliss. And now we finally have a reason to feel badly for them rather than feeling bad about our own not-so-RomCom love story.

The first two years of marriage predict marital failure. Wanna know why?

Sometimes, it doesn't get any better than the honeymoon phase.

The best of marriages is one in which two people grow closer together and learn from the ups and downs that life throws at them.

But super-adorable, affectionate newlyweds are disappointed when they find out that marriage gets harder.

Those early evenings of snuggling in bed and having a tremendous amount of intimacy are unlikely to last long-term.

And when that phase of marriage passes, the not-so-newlyweds are left feeling let down. Rather than understand that the honeymoon phase is quite literally a phase, these couples start to feel disappointment in their marriage as they yearn for the days long gone.

3. Having a husband who works part-time

A 2016 article by Alexandra Killewald found a correlation between a husband's lack of full-time employment and a higher risk of divorce. Results indicated that the woman's financial independence and total family income are not as important as how the man spends most of his time.

In other words, the wives in this study appear to be more concerned with how their partner is spending his time rather than the amount of money their partner is contributing to the family.

One explanation posed by Killewald is that women and society at large enjoy the idea of the husband being the breadwinner, no matter how much money the family has—or needs.

4. Do you forgive me?

Not surprisingly, asking for forgiveness when you do something wrong goes a long way if you're looking for a happy marriage. A 2023 research article examined the connection between marital satisfaction and being able to forgive your spouse for their transgressions. Couples who took responsibility for their errors and apologized with sincerity were found to have better and longer-lasting marriages.

5. Talking to your friends about your marriage

A 2015 study by Jensen and Rauer examined how confiding in your friends about marital issues impacts your overall marriage satisfaction. Men in particular reported higher levels of happiness when their wives would discuss marital issues with them rather than turning to their friends for support and/or advice. Interestingly, older couples tend to shy away from conflict more than younger couples.