Are You Pro- or Anti-Aging?

I’m standing in the creams, lotions, and potions aisle of the local drugstore, looking for some miracle to deal with the creeping dry skin on my face and arms. The shelves are chock full of expensive facial scrubs, moisturizers, sunscreen-infused face creams, day creams, night creams, eye creams, wrinkle creams, and a whole dazzle of expensive promises.

The offerings are stunning and are all guaranteed to be the best solution money can buy to stop the aging process. Which brings up the question: How do you feel about getting older?

I’m for being proactive about aging and using daily moisture to counteract the creeping wrinkles that have become more than gentle laugh lines on my face. As for living with grey hair or using hair dye to hide it: I’m not judging anyone.

Aging is more than just an accumulation of birthdays and a few wrinkles. Just ask the Internet. It’s about what you wear, how you decorate your home, and what you do with your time. Numerous commentators would have you believe that nothing says old age more than your favorite flowered dress or your 20-year-old kitchen cabinets and linoleum floors. From grey hair and wrinkles to out-of-date decorating mistakes, the age-shaming, anti-aging messages are hard to ignore.

Did aging become cool this summer?

It’s true. Older women (who more than likely embraced their wrinkles and said to heck with the latest $50 anti-aging cream) went from being overlooked, invisible crones to chic "coastal grandmothers" in the wink of a wrinkle cream, thanks in part to Internet influencer Lex Nicoleta.

In case you missed it, a coastal grandmother is someone who loves Nancy Meyers movies, beach house vibes, cooking, Ina Garten, and cozy interiors. Oh, and she is fashion-conscious and casual chic in white jeans and pale tan or soft blue linen blouses, good jewelry, and a slightly oversized cashmere sweater or shawl for chilly nights. Think Diane Keaton about to be swept off her bare feet as she soaks in the last bit of warmth from the fading summer sun while strolling on an October beach.

Apparently, you don’t need to be an AARP member, have grandchildren, or own a beach house to qualify. If you feel like a chic coastal grandmother, you are a chic coastal grandmother — as long as you wear the right clothes and your home has the right up-to-date relaxed style.

It’s all about attitude, not birthdays.

Not feeling like a coastal grandmother? How about putting on a little grandma style: bright colors, shiny fabrics, cardigans, statement coats, and practical shoes. (Once you reach a certain age, life is too short for boring clothes and uncomfortable shoes.)

Growing older is not only about being comfortable in your shoes, though. It’s also about being comfortable in the world—grey hair, wrinkles, and all. Which leads me to the best advice I have about being pro-aging: Despite all the lotions, potions, and hair dye you might buy and try, you’re still going to get older. So, it’s a good idea to embrace those birthdays and get on with living.

Quit clicking. Stop using the Internet to tell you how you should live. Trust yourself. You’re an adult. You have choices, and you know what makes you feel happy.

You don’t need anyone to tell you how to cut your hair or what to wear. If you love your black-and-white linoleum kitchen floor and frankly don’t want the hassle or the expense of ripping it out just to replace it with something some article told you was more fashionable, keep it. Ditto that flowered dress and that wall of photos of places you’ve been and people you’ve loved.

Use a little anti-aging cream if it makes you happy and your face feel good.

Aging is a grace note.

Put on your comfortable shoes and start dancing to your own drummer.