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Key points
- Teaching kids life skills so that parents don't have to do them anymore is the gift that keeps on giving.
- Children will need to learn household chores anyway, so why not now?
- Learning to talk to adults early on will give kids the confidence to advocate for themselves in the future.
- Guess who really evaluates our parenting efforts?
You just put the kids to bed and totally in need of self-care. Just when you unroll your yoga mat, you see those baskets of laundry and paw prints on the floor. As just as you want to practice, you can't get past all the stuff that should be done first. You knock out your chores and then are too tired to do what you wanted to do. Sound familiar?
Parenting has become more stressful than ever. According to the 2021 Stress in America study by the American Psychological Association, parents' overall stress level has increased, with a decrease in physical and mental health.
Parents often forget they are people outside of being parents. They are people who juggle careers, self-care, hobbies, maintaining a home, and keeping friendships. Part of parents' struggle is balancing the needs of their kids with managing their own needs and maintaining their identity.
Kids contributing towards household chores is a win/win/win situation. It is a win for the household since things get done; a win for the kids who learn life skills and responsibility; and a win for the parents, since they can spend the time doing something else they would rather do. Time cannot be bought in a gift guide, but ten minutes here and there certainly add up.
Guess who really evaluates our parenting efforts?
Some of the best judges of our parenting efforts are the Resident Assistants (RA) who work and live in the freshman dorms. They see our kid's quirks and habits right when they fly from our nest. The worst thing we can do to our kids is send them to college without teaching them any fundamental household and life skills. The adjustment to college is big enough, with finding their way, living in a new situation, making new friends, as well as keeping up with courses and assignments. Learning new skills like laundry, budgeting, and advocating for themselves could be especially overwhelming.
Our kids will have to spend their entire lives managing self-care and household needs, so the earlier they start organically integrating it into their lives, the better. There might not always be a parent or someone else to do it for them. They need to be taught how to do things at least one way with the space to create their own process. Every household has its preferences, but here are a few to get started:
Kids need to learn basic fundamental life and household care skills.
Back in the day, a home economics course typically included cooking, sewing, and cleaning up the kitchen. Although such a course may still exist somewhere, it is far less common, but children still certainly need to learn how to do laundry (handling the machine and folding), cook, grocery shop, cleaning fundamentals, and pet care. These are skills they need to learn anyway, but the younger their age, the easier it will be for them since it will a part of their routine that builds a sense of responsibility and confidence.
Kids need to learn how to talk to adults.
For some kids, talking to adults can be intimidating. Everyday actions can give them the opportunity to sharpen their communication skills, such as picking up dry cleaning, navigating other customer service situations, as well as ordering take-out food over the phone. It also helps them to assert and navigate the world as well as strengthen their self-esteem so they can eventually advocate for themselves.
Kids need to learn resilience.
It is a rare exception that teaching chores is met without resistance. Understandable, right? However, by doing something kids really do not want to do, they are building up their resilience. Most adults do not enjoy doing various tasks but have to do them anyway. Learning resilience in childhood will help their transition into independence and adulthood go much smoother.
We are only helping our kids by not doing everything for them. There are hundreds of gift-giving guides for every type of person, however, neither the expensive, specialized, nor popular gift guides sell self-care time for busy parents and life skills for kids. Which life skills can you teach your kids today?
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