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What we know to be true from supporting and coaching thousands of women in our community is that the challenges and mistakes we see women making are incredibly common. There are distinct patterns that we see over and over again, and when the women in our program connect with one another on our coaching calls, they’re able to see that they are not alone and that many women share similar experiences.
In this post, we cover the top-4 mistakes that we see women make at work. We want to make sure it’s clear from the outset that there are very real systemic problems and biases that lead to these issues, so it is absolutely not that women are to blame. We must continue to fight systemic issues like gender and age bias that impact how women show up and how they succeed or struggle every day at work.
Mistake 1: Letting confidence, our inner critic, and imposter syndrome hold us back.
What we see in our community, and which is backed up by our 2023 research, is that the biggest challenge women face at work is a lack of confidence, leading to moments of self-doubt, and the generation of a harsh inner critic: 61% of women said their inner critic was the biggest factor undermining their confidence at work, and 72% say they have experienced feelings of imposter syndrome in the past 18 months.
When it comes to how this affects women at work, research shows that women tend to hesitate more often, not put themselves forward for a new role or promotion until they have 100% of the skills required, expect to earn less than male peers on graduation, and ask for pay rises four times less often.
But it’s important to know that confidence isn’t a personality trait; it's a skill you can build. Learning to understand your inner critic narrative that stops you from taking the action you want to take – speaking up in the meeting, going for a promotion, or asking for a pay rise – and then interrupting the cognitive distortion by asking ‘Is that true?’ is a proven strategy to turn your thoughts into action, the very definition of confidence.
Mistake 2. Not building our executive presence and communication skills.
Another finding of our research is that 63% of women feel they aren’t fulfilling their potential at work. Their careers aren’t progressing as quickly as they would like, 37% feel there are not enough opportunities to advance, and many others are pigeon-holed into certain roles or told they’re not ready for the next level. One factor that can really impact this is your executive presence and communication skills.
Executive presence is your ability to inspire confidence in those around you—team members, peers, and critically for your career, senior leaders—that you have the potential for great achievements. You need to be aware that many important decisions about you and your career will be made when you’re not in the room. Your executive presence will have a direct impact on the opportunities you get access to, so it’s vital that you build it.
Here are some key things to think about when you’re building your executive presence:
1. Authenticity and self-awareness
- Embrace genuine qualities and values.
- Reflect on personal strengths and areas of improvement.
- Seek feedback and continuously self-evaluate.
2. Decision-making and confidence
- Be confident and demonstrate assertiveness.
- Stand by decisions and be willing to take risks when necessary.
- Show resilience during challenging situations and learn from mistakes.
3. Effective communication
- Articulate ideas clearly and confidently.
- Listen actively and respond thoughtfully.
- Practice non-verbal cues like maintaining eye contact, confident posture, and purposeful gestures.
- Think in headlines: who, what, how, when, why.
Mistake 3. Not getting the support you need to achieve your career goals.
Once you’re clear on what you want for your career, it’s vital that you get the support you need to achieve your goals. Unfortunately, we know that for most women, this isn’t happening. Of the 1200 women we surveyed for our 2023 research, 52% do not have supportive mentors and a staggering 64% do not have supportive sponsors. This lines up with other research which shows that women are drastically under-sponsored compared to male counterparts.
Take a moment now to reflect on this for yourself. Do you have a supportive mentor? Do you have a supportive sponsor? Are there people that come to mind that could fulfill either of these roles for you? What action do you need to take to start consciously cultivating these relationships?
Mistake 4. Not looking after our well-being and burning ourselves out.
One of the most alarming statistics to reveal itself in our research is that only 8% of women say they are thriving at work, while 42% say they are either surviving, hanging on by a thread, or burnt out, and 39% describe themselves as just functioning; 78% of women told us they have felt burnt out in the past 18 months, 81% experienced increased levels of stress, and 55% currently feel at risk of burnout.
If you want to have the career and life you dream of, it’s essential to make the time and space to intentionally build your well-being. It’s a foundational pillar that impacts every area of your life, and so often, it’s completely left out of professional development programs. It's important to take a holistic approach and look at well-being through the lens of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Tips for Leaders: Support women to build confidence, executive presence, support networks, and well-being.
Build Confidence and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome.
- Encourage open conversations about these issues in team settings.
- Provide mentorship and guidance to help women challenge their inner critics.
- Celebrate their achievements and acknowledge their contributions to enhance their self-esteem.
- Practical exercises and tools can help women tackle their inner critic stories head-on.
Foster Executive Presence and Effective Communication.
- Provide opportunities for women to present and lead meetings to enhance their visibility.
- Create a culture where diverse communication styles are respected and valued.
- Offer training programs that focus on communication skills and executive presence.
Support Career Goals through Mentorship and Sponsorship.
- Advocate for mentorship and sponsorship programs within the organisation.
- Recognise and promote women who are effectively mentoring or sponsoring others.
- It’s vital that men also understand the critical role they can play in breaking down the barriers for women and promoting gender balance.
Prioritise Well-being and Prevent Burnout.
- Foster a culture that values work-life balance and overall well-being.
- Lead by example and show that prioritising well-being is essential for all team members.
- Have regular well-being check-in conversations with team members and support them with their workload.
- Encourage them to take breaks and make sure they have access to resources for stress management, mental health, and self-care.
- As a leader, never underestimate the important role you can play in creating a supportive and empowering environment that enables women to thrive, contribute effectively, and overcome the common challenges they face at work.
