Three Books for Therapists

When I was in social work school, I went to hear clinical psychologist and author Mary Pipher read from her then-new book, Letters to a Young Therapist. Pipher had been a reason I was drawn to social work as a profession. Her book Reviving Ophelia entered my life at a time when the sadness of teenage girls was particularly personal and her book showed me that there were people who cared about teens enough to write about them.

When she read from Letters to a Young Therapist, I already thought I knew everything. So now, more than 15 years later, I don’t remember anything that she said. I remember being there, I remember the friend who invited me to the reading, I remember the bookstore, the light of the fall evening coming in through a window. But, Pipher’s content? Nothing.

This may be the way of social work school, which is likely the way of much very intensive professional education: So overwhelming that you remember the big picture, not always the more crucial details. I am sure I had a paper to write that evening. I am sure my mind was pulled in multiple directions.

In the years since, I have become an educator to social work students as well as other helping professionals and my mind, still pulled in multiple directions, drifts toward a few common themes. Now, more than a decade into social work practice, I am certain I do not know everything. When I teach, I know that my students will not remember many of the little details, because they are trying to hold too many.

When I noticed books written for therapists at my local library, I quickly grabbed three off the shelf. Two are by one of my therapy heroes, Irvin. D. Yalom, psychiatrist and group therapy guru. The other is by Lauren Slater, a psychologist who has spent many years writing about her own and her patients’ experiences with mental illness.

Both of these practitioners were trained in different ways and at different times than I was, so I appreciate that they may have very different perspectives on therapy. But, all of us share the idea that the relationship is central to the effectiveness of therapy, and these books explore what it means to be in relationship with the people we work with as professionals. What we learn from them, what they give us, the ways they make us feel inadequate, the ways in which they remind us they and we are human. These books are also about the way that therapists think about therapy: What’s on the minds of therapists as they are working with people who are struggling and how not knowing is such a big part of the work of the therapist.

When I think about teaching budding therapists now, I think that hearing from “old” therapists should be part of our curriculum. How does it feel to hear Yalom, who at 80 years old, had been practicing therapy for 50 years, reflect on what he is thinking as he is working with his patients? There is a reason we use the word “practice.” It may not always have been intentional, but these days, it feels so for me. We practice. We do not know with certainty. We try and we try again, working toward getting better. I imagine this is what Pipher was saying all those years ago, too. I just wasn't ready to hear it.

The three books at my bedside, in my bag, at my desk these days:

• Creatures of a Day. The title of this book comes from a Marcus Aurelius quote about life’s meaning, a central theme of much of Yalom’s writing, and what ties together these stories of interactions with a range of patients.
• The Gift of Therapy. Before everyone was writing “open letters,” Yalom wrote this open letter to a new generation of therapists and their patients. Therapy offer gifts for both patients and practitioners.
• Welcome To My Country. Slater’s book features her work with people with schizophrenia, chronic depression, and suicidal ideation, bringing to life people who may seem distant to anyone who hasn’t known them one-to-one. She also shares personal reflections on her own experiences as a patient.

If you’ve read any of these books, what did you think? Are there others you’d add to a list of must-reads for therapists, new or “old”?

Copyright 2019 Elana Premack Sandler, All Rights Reserved