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When kids refuse to eat healthy foods, or refuse to eat at all, they tend to be blamed for bad behavior. Sometimes the problem is physical, though, and physical causes should be ruled out before considering the emotional factors addressed later in this article.
Kids often refuse food because they know the food will make them feel bad, perhaps from food allergies or the heightened sensitivities associated with sensory processing disorder. Some moms in my practice report that certain foods cause their children to double over in pain. Others report their kids spit everything out because it feels so gross in their mouth, perhaps as a hair in the food would feel to others. Still other children may suffer from severe diarrhea or uncomfortable gas distension from gut dysbiosis. Other kids may feel uncomfortably full because they are constipated.
Some kids refuse food simply because they don’t enjoy it, perhaps for a simple reason like a zinc deficiency. Kids who don’t eat enough tend to develop nutritional deficiencies; foods high in zinc like pumpkin seeds are not on most kids’ favorite-food list; so a vicious cycle develops because a zinc deficiency means they can’t taste anything.
If the picky-eater problem is physical rather than emotional, the best resource I have found is the newly-published Almost Autism by nutritionist Maria Rickert Hong. While Hong’s book is about nutritional solutions to Sensory Processing Disorder, it will benefit parents of children with allergies, ADHD, Asperger’s and a host of other common childhood conditions — as well as parents seeking good nutritional advice for healthy kids!
If the child is refusing food for emotional reasons, parents first need to find the cause. She may not want to eat because she is anxious, her anxiety in turn caused by her parents’ arguing. This child may benefit from the natural medicine Magnesia muriatica, known for supporting children trying to create peace in the family. (Of course this is an admirable tendency, but it can create too much stress and an inappropriate sense of responsibility in a small child.) Kids who need Mag. mur. are also likely to suffer from indigestion, abdominal pains, constipation, diarrhea, and gas, so they are likely to be averse to eating. Mag. mur. can help both the emotional and physical concerns.
Grief is the most common emotional reason for refusing food. In the life of a child, any loss can cause major grief: not only the loss of a parent through death or divorce, but even the loss of a pet, the loss of a best friend moving away, or moving from their childhood home – which may entail the loss of familiar surroundings, friends, and pets all at once. (I can see how apparently minor losses can cause longterm grief when I read my clients’ timelines in which I ask them to list the major traumas of their life.)
Natrum muriaticum and Ignatia are two closely-related remedies which can release the grief underlying a refusal to eat. Nat. mur. is for “silent grief”, suppressed grief, in which the person becomes emotionally withdrawn in order to protect against being hurt again. Kids who need this medicine tend to be serious and aloof, perhaps refusing their mom’s attempted hugs. If they lose a parent or friend, they may find solace in a pet, trusting the pet never to leave them. They tend to be overly responsible, serious about their studies, and unable to relax and have fun. Nat. mur. can release this pattern, allowing them to enjoy hugs, play and food.
While Nat. mur. tends to work for a past grief, Ignatia can be used for both recent and long-ago griefs. If recent, the person tends to sob hysterically and perhaps indulge in emotional eating, trying to fill the emptiness within. This would not be the picky eater! But if the grief is more longterm, the Ignatia child can act like the Nat. mur. child, more withdrawn and sulky while refusing to eat. Physical symptoms can help guide the choice: a Nat. mur. child may be constipated or get cold sores, while an Ignatia child may have cramping pains or psychosomatic ills.
But what if a young girl refuses to eat because she is worried about being too fat? Natural medicines can help people who have an unrealistic sense of their bodies, like my teenage client who thought she was too fat because the inside of her thighs touched at one point near the top (she was on the thin side of healthy). Finding a natural medicine for someone with an eating disorder, or a tendency heading in that direction, requires the assistance of a professional and you can find one near you at www.homeopathic.org.
