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Key points
- Sometimes, it feels safer to do nothing than to risk failure.
- Recognizing the role of anxiety in procrastination is the first step toward breaking this cycle.
- Fatigue from burnout can feel like laziness, but it's your body's way of telling you to slow down.
Have you ever called yourself lazy even though everyone around you seems to think you’re doing a lot? Many high achievers—students, professionals, busy parents—often tell me they are lazy. Despite their packed schedules and impressive resumes, they’re convinced they’re not doing enough.
Take David, for instance (name changed for confidentiality). David is a PhD candidate at a top Ivy League institution with an excellent academic record, juggling research, teaching, and various conferences. Yet he often complained of being lazy and unproductive. In one of our recent sessions, he said wistfully, “I’ve been so lazy. I have a major presentation coming up, but all I do is binge-watch Netflix and doom scroll…”
David isn't lazy. His behavior was the result of burnout and anxious avoidance. The pressure to deliver a perfect presentation was paralyzing, and the fear of not meeting his own high standards led him to procrastinate. Instead of taking mindful breaks, David found himself engaging in anxious avoidance, which left him drained and stuck in a cycle of self-criticism and anxiety.
This kind of “lazy” behavior is actually quite common. It’s easy to assume that watching TV or mindlessly scrolling through social media means someone isn’t motivated, but for people like David, it often signals something deeper.
Anxious Avoidance
Anxious avoidance is the act of procrastinating because of a fear of failure. High achievers often experience intense anxiety about meeting deadlines or producing perfect work. The fear of not doing a “good enough” job becomes so overwhelming that they freeze and avoid the task altogether. The longer they avoid it, the more their anxiety builds, perpetuating a vicious cycle of shame and self-blame.
Imagine your brain is like a car stuck in neutral, revving but unable to move forward. You want to get started, but fear tells you, “You will fail.” As a result, you stay frozen. It feels safer to do nothing than to risk failure. But the longer you stay stagnant, the more overwhelming the task becomes, and the more mental energy it drains. You feel even more exhausted and stuck.
David often fell into this trap. Afraid his work wouldn’t be perfect, he put off starting the task, then berated himself for “wasting time.” In reality, he was paralyzed by fear, not laziness. Even though he spent hours watching TV, it wasn't about a lack of motivation or unwillingness to put in the work—it was about trying to escape the anxiety of not meeting his own high expectations.
In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), this type of avoidance is addressed by helping individuals confront their fears (often exaggerated) rather than avoid them. By confronting fears rationally, fear loses its power. Recognizing the role of anxiety in procrastination is the first step toward breaking this cycle.
The “Productivity Trap” for High Achievers
Many high achievers equate their self-worth with their productivity. They thrive on accomplishments because their brains reward them with a feel-good chemical called dopamine when they complete a task. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, provides a sense of satisfaction upon achieving a goal. For high achievers, this sense of reward can become addictive—the more they accomplish, the more they crave that feeling of success.
But for people like David, completing one task successfully is never enough; the next one must be just as perfect, if not better. This pressure becomes overwhelming, trapping them in a cycle where nothing ever feels “good enough.” The constant striving eventually leads to frustration, procrastination, and self-blame.
It’s important to recognize that this stagnation isn’t laziness—it’s mental exhaustion fueled by perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and societal expectations. In addition, in the relentless hunt for the next dopamine hit from accomplishing something big, high achievers are conditioned to believe that their worth is tied to constant productivity, and anything less feels like failure. The pursuit of perfection and the fear of being exposed as an "imposter" lead to burnout, where rest feels undeserved. In reality, their minds and bodies are overworked and in need of recovery—it’s not a sign that they are lazy or inadequate.
Is It Really Laziness?
Before labeling yourself as lazy, ask yourself if there is something deeper going on. Here are a few signs to look for:
1. Perfectionism: If you’re spending hours obsessing over every small detail and not able to make progress, it’s likely not laziness but a need for control.
2. Procrastination Due to Fear: Are you avoiding tasks because you’re afraid of failure? This avoidance can be mistaken for laziness.
3. Burnout: When you’ve been operating at full capacity for too long, your brain and body need a break. Fatigue from burnout can feel like laziness, but it’s actually your mind’s way of telling you to slow down. Research shows that a significant proportion of high achievers experience burnout at some point in their careers. Burnout often manifests as emotional exhaustion, a reduced sense of accomplishment, and detachment, which can easily be misinterpreted as laziness.
How to Break the Cycle: Recognize, Reframe, Rest
If you’re a high achiever caught in this “lazy” cycle, there are steps you can take to break free. The key is learning to recognize what’s really happening and shifting your mindset. Here’s a simple framework you can use:
Recognize: Start by recognizing when you’re feeling “lazy” and dig deeper into the root cause. Ask yourself, "Am I overwhelmed, anxious, or burnt out?" Understanding what’s behind those feelings can help stop the negative self-talk in its tracks.
Take a few minutes to pause, close your eyes, and identify where the stagnation is coming from—is it fear, fatigue, or something else?
Reframe: Reframe your thinking by challenging perfectionism and setting realistic expectations. Remind yourself that progress is better than perfection, and sometimes “good enough” really is enough. Instead of worrying about finishing a big project, focus instead on smaller, more manageable steps. Remind yourself that you are more than your work.
Set a 20-minute timer and work on just one small part of a task. Allow yourself to stop after that time if needed.
Rest: Practice self-compassion. Allow yourself to take breaks without guilt, knowing that rest is essential for long-term productivity. High achievers often overlook the importance of relaxation, but giving your brain downtime is crucial for avoiding burnout.
When you’re feeling tired or discouraged, extend yourself the kindness you would offer a good friend. Acknowledge your hard work, validate your feelings, and remind yourself that you deserve rest.
If you’re struggling with feelings of laziness, remember: You’re not alone, and it’s likely not laziness at all. High achievers like David often feel trapped by their own high standards, leading to cycles of avoidance and burnout. The next time you find yourself binge-watching TV or endlessly scrolling, ask yourself—am I burnt out, or am I feeling anxious about something ahead? Understanding the reason behind your behavior is the first step toward breaking the cycle.
By letting go of perfectionism, recognizing that you are more than just your work, and giving yourself permission to relax, you can break the cycle and regain a healthier balance between work and well-being.
Disclaimer: The names and identifying details of patients in this article have been changed to protect confidentiality.
