The Relationship Mistake That’s Keeping You from True Love

Regarding relationships, we often have a picture of what true love should look like. Whether it's from movies, social media, or romantic stories we’ve grown up with, we believe there is a perfect person out there who will complete us in every way. The problem is that this vision of perfection is exactly what could be holding you back from finding the deep, meaningful connection you desire.

The Problem with Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations set us up for failure. No one is perfect in real life—not you, your partner, or the relationship itself. But many people still believe that love should be easy and flawless. When things get tough or their partner doesn’t live up to this idealized version of who they “should” be, disappointment sets in. This cycle leads to frustration, resentment, and sometimes even the end of what could have been a truly fulfilling relationship.

Take the example of Erica and Jackson. Erica entered the relationship with the expectation that Jackson would be her rock, always knowing how to support her in every emotional moment. When he failed to read her mind or didn't respond in precisely the way she wanted during stressful times, Erica began to think Jackson wasn’t “the one.” She felt let down by his perceived flaws and started pulling away emotionally. Erica didn’t realize that her belief that Jackson should always understand her perfectly was unrealistic, eroding the relationship.

The Danger of Waiting for Perfection

Another common manifestation of this mistake is waiting for the “perfect” partner. David had been in several relationships, but each ended because none of his partners matched the image of his ideal woman. He wanted someone who was ambitious, spontaneous, always positive, and physically flawless. As soon as he noticed any shortcomings, he decided it was time to move on, convinced that the perfect partner was still out there. Unfortunately, David didn’t realize that his pursuit of perfection was keeping him from the real connections he could have developed with women who were great matches but, like everyone, were human and imperfect.

How This Mistake Keeps You Stuck

The most significant consequence of holding on to unrealistic expectations is that you never allow yourself to experience the depth of love that grows from working through challenges, embracing flaws, and learning to appreciate someone for who they indeed are. Instead, you remain dissatisfied, always looking for something or someone better.

Moreover, this mindset often causes people to view their relationships critically, focusing on what’s lacking instead of what’s present. Over time, this creates distance, erodes intimacy, and leads to emotional withdrawal. Opening yourself up to love becomes more arduous in the long run because you begin believing it isn’t out there for you.

How to Break Free from Unrealistic Expectations

If you’ve found yourself caught in the trap of perfectionism or unrealistic expectations, don’t worry—there are ways to break free and open yourself up to true love:

Recognize That Flaws Are Inevitable
No one is flawless, including yourself. It’s important to acknowledge that every partner you encounter will have imperfections. Instead of focusing on their shortcomings, try to appreciate the unique strengths they bring to the relationship. Love isn’t about finding someone perfect; it’s about finding someone whose flaws you can accept and love.

Shift Your Focus to Growth
Healthy relationships are built on growth and understanding, not static perfection. When challenges arise, view them as opportunities for growth rather than signs that the relationship is doomed. Your bond will strengthen if you and your partner learn from your mistakes and evolve together.

Communicate Your Needs Openly
Unspoken expectations often lead to disappointment. Communicate your feelings openly if you wish your partner would do something differently. A relationship should be a safe space where both people can express their needs and work together to meet them. For instance, Sophie expected her partner, Evan, to plan romantic dates without her ever asking, and when he didn’t, she silently resented him. Once she communicated her desires, Evan was more than happy to make an effort. They both learned to adjust their expectations and communicate better.

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Let Go of the “Perfect Partner” Myth
No matter how much time you spend searching, there is no such thing as a perfect partner. The right partner for you will be imperfect but willing to work to build a strong, loving relationship. It’s time to let go of the fairy-tale image of love and embrace the reality that real love is sometimes messy but always worth it.

The Takeaway

The one relationship mistake that could be keeping you from true love is holding onto unrealistic expectations of what love and relationships should be. By letting go of perfection and embracing the beauty of imperfection, you can finally create the space for deep, lasting love to grow. Remember, true love isn’t about finding someone who checks every box—it’s about finding someone you can build a life with, flaws and all.