7 Meaningful Ways to Show Your Child You Care

When I conduct parenting presentations, I often dim the lights to help participants get the most out of one crucial reflective activity: listening to their own parents' voices. It is always moving for me to scan the audience once the lights go back on. I see rooms filled with smiles and tears.

The more we as parents express words and actions that are supportive and caring, the more their children, at any age, will feel empowered to take on life's challenges and succeed. In our fast-paced parenting lives, we must consistently show our children and teens how much we love them.

Here are seven time-tested strategies to make impactful, positive deposits in your child's emotional bank account.

1. Listen, Really Listen

Make sure your child knows you're interested in the topics they discuss. Set aside your mobile device and show a genuine interest in what your kids have to say. I believe that if we listen to our children with the same level of attention that we'd use toward an interesting podcast, what a gift to them that would be.

2. Realize Their Best Discipline Is Your Self-Discipline

If you have an adult temper tantrum in front of your kids and then expect them to bond with you, that's a bit ridiculous. Do your best to talk out concerns through calm, constructive conversations. Have self-discipline with your own emotions. To help you with your emotional regulation, I suggest having a mantra to practice and live by such as "self-control, grace, and dignity." Aren't these really good qualities to model to your children?

3. Use Humor to Connect

Using humor in parenting can be a great way to connect with your child, diffuse tension in difficult situations, and create a positive and lighthearted atmosphere in the home. Humor can also be a powerful tool for teaching important life lessons, such as how to handle stress and conflict, and how to see the bright side of things. It's also important to remember that every child is different and what may be funny for one child may not be for another. Parents need to read their cues and understand their sense of humor.

4. Express Gratitude and Appreciation to Your Kids

As parents, it is important to express our gratitude and appreciation to our children. It helps them understand that we value their efforts and recognize their hard work. Expressing gratitude and appreciation to our kids also helps build a strong bond between us and encourages them to do their best.

It is not enough to simply tell them that we are proud of them; we need to demonstrate it through our words and actions. We can do this by expressing words of affirmation, giving compliments, showing genuine interest in their activities, providing meaningful rewards for their accomplishments, and being active listeners when they need someone to talk to.

Here is one lighthearted gratitude activity from my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, 3rd. Ed:

Handfuls of Gratitude

What you need: An openness to how keeping gratitude “on hand” helps you feel better together.

Stand on one leg (hold onto a stable surface if you need to balance yourself). Now hold one hand up in front of you and say five things you are grateful for. It is OK to give each other ideas as well.

Each time you say a gratitude, bring a finger down until you have closed your hand into a fist (no worries here; you’re not being asked to become boxers and fight each other). Rather, you now have each grasped your five things to be grateful for and you both still have a leg to stand on while doing it!

5. Demonstrate Love and Affection Through Physical Connection

Physical connection is a simple yet powerful way of showing love and affection to our loved ones. It can be used to express care, appreciation, gratitude, and even forgiveness. Physical contact can help strengthen relationships by creating an emotional connection, whether it's a hug, a kiss, or simply holding hands.

Physical contact has multiple benefits for both the parent and the child. It helps reduce stress levels and boost endorphins in the brain, which makes us feel good about ourselves and our relationships. Additionally, it can help us feel more connected to our kids as we communicate our feelings without words.

Gratitude Essential Reads

The Gratitude Effect: Love Grows When You Count Blessings

How Our Emotions Dictate the Way We View Time

6. Do Activities Together That Your Kids Enjoy

Doing activities together that you both enjoy is a great way to bond and build a stronger relationship. It can be anything from going for a walk to playing sports or even just watching a movie together. Not only will it help create lasting memories, but it will also allow you to spend quality time with each other.

7, Talk Openly About Your Feelings and Emotions

Talking openly about your feelings and emotions can be a daunting task, especially if you don’t feel comfortable expressing yourself. Yet it is an important part of personal development and growth. Being open, within reason, can help you to understand yourself better and build healthier relationships with your kids.

Such openness about your feelings and emotions can help to reduce stress, improve communication, and model self-awareness to your kids. It can also provide an outlet for difficult or uncomfortable conflicts that you may be struggling with. By talking about your thoughts and feelings in a safe space with your children, you can both begin to process them more constructively.