Should I Censor Myself in Therapy?

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With the rise of social media, more people are seeing into the process of therapy. You might follow a therapist on Instagram or subscribe to clinic email lists. If you view TikTok videos, you may have come across the term "trauma dumping."

"Trauma dumping" is the unwelcome oversharing of painful information. When a TikTok therapist told people not to trauma dump on their therapist, people rightfully had questions.

In response to thinking about trauma dumping in therapy, you might ask yourself...

• Should I censor myself in therapy?
• Am I giving my therapist too much information at once?
• Should I hide my past traumas to make it easier on my therapist?
• Am I hurting my therapist by telling them about my past?

But what does it really mean to trauma dump?

Is therapy the right place to talk about trauma?

When someone trauma dumps, it's usually done without permission at an inappropriate time, place, or situation. For example, if a stranger tells you their life story in an airport without you agreeing to hear it, that is trauma dumping.

In therapy, you're in a space specifically designed to discuss challenging topics. Your therapist has given you explicit permission to share in a space created to talk about hard stuff. They are monitoring changes in emotions so they know what topics are easier or more difficult to broach. They may also help with coping strategies to process highly emotional or traumatic memories in a way that is helpful for you.

In short, therapy is the perfect place to discuss highly emotional content.

Am I going to scare my therapist away? Am I "too much"?

It's normal to worry about how your therapist may react to hearing certain information. But remember: Your therapist has knowingly signed up to hear your history, thoughts, feelings, fears, and challenges. A trusted therapist will listen, but also help guide the conversation in a way that's helpful.

Your therapist is also trained to know their personal limits. If they have a hard time with session material, they know to seek help from a colleague.

Ultimately, the therapist will monitor topics in session and determine what's "too much." You can trust your therapist to hold that responsibility, so you don't have to censor yourself. Your only responsibility is to show up and be your authentic self. In short, you have permission to discuss topics relevant to your psychological care, which includes trauma. If it happens in the therapy room, it isn't trauma dumping.

What is the best way to talk about hard stuff (including trauma)?

There is no "right" way to do therapy, and there's no perfect way to discuss emotional information.

As a result of trauma, many survivors may have had their agency taken away. Thus, it's important for therapists to empower and allow survivors to discuss trauma when and how they wish. Every person has different needs around sharing their story. Some need to tell their therapist in the first session. Others need a few sessions to build trust before recounting old wounds. The short answer is that you decide when is appropriate for you. A good therapist will respect your agency and empower you to share in ways that feel best for you.

The final word on trauma dumping

"Trauma dumping" is unloading past traumas on an unwilling participant. It involves sharing highly emotional content at an inappropriate time or place. Based on this definition, trauma dumping can't happen in therapy. You and your therapist are willing participants in the therapeutic process
And talking about emotional topics (including trauma) is completely appropriate, and even helpful. If you can't share in therapy, where can you?

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To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.