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Thomas J. Scheff
Thomas Scheff Ph.D.
Anger

Anger Management

Two exercises

1. The next time you are ready to blow your top, try this. As the saying goes, count 10. That’s for the first week. Next week, try for 20. Third week: 30, and so on, til you find the number that usually keeps you from yelling.

2. That’s the first step. The second step is after you have held off yelling, notice how hyper you feel. If still hyper, talk about or at least think about, the absolutely best moments in your whole life. Keep doing it until you suddenly feel very warm, and then less hyper.

The first exercise is obvious, but the second requires explanation. Suppose that the physical basis for anger is body readiness to metabolize adrenalin, but the metabolizing process has been delayed. Talking or thinking about the best moments of your life is a way of coaxing the metabolic process. Best moments help to bring on a SAFE ZONE for you to deal with your feelings, as if you were watching an actor in the theatre at the same time that you having your own personal experience of anger.

If the idea of a safe zone for emotions gives you trouble, please see my article: 2007. Catharsis and Other Heresies. Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology 1 (3), 98-113.

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About the Author
Thomas J. Scheff

Thomas J. Scheff is Professor Emeritus of Sociology, University of California, Santa Barbara.

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