I Can Relate

Charisma

3 Steps to Boosting Your Charisma

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on August 26, 2014

We often consider charisma a rare quality, bestowed on only a few lucky souls. But that's a myth. Anyone can develop charisma because it's all about a personal mindset, and the nonverbal behaviors associated with that mindset.

We often consider charisma a rare quality, bestowed on only a few lucky souls. But that's a myth. Anyone can develop charisma because it's all about a personal mindset, and the nonverbal behaviors associated with that mindset.

Bullying

The Witness: 6 Steps to Take if You See Workplace Bullying

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on August 13, 2014

Research shows that one in five people have witnessed workplace bullying, and being a witness--like being a target--increases one's desire to resign from the job. Here's what you can do.

Research shows that one in five people have witnessed workplace bullying, and being a witness--like being a target--increases one's desire to resign from the job. Here's what you can do.

Mating

29 Questions to Deepen Your Connection

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on July 23, 2014

Take advantage of your next date night to ask some stimulating questions, and grow a little closer.

Take advantage of your next date night to ask some stimulating questions, and grow a little closer.

Motivation

Why We Can't Keep Our Mouths Shut

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on June 26, 2014

All of us have moments when we can’t help ourselves and we blurt out things we ultimately regret. Understanding the underlying reasons for blurting gives us the insight we need to stop it.

All of us have moments when we can’t help ourselves and we blurt out things we ultimately regret. Understanding the underlying reasons for blurting gives us the insight we need to stop it.

Motivation

One Simple Strategy to Help You Achieve Your Goals

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on June 2, 2014

We can learn to use the power of sunk costs to increase the chances of sticking with what matters.

We can learn to use the power of sunk costs to increase the chances of sticking with what matters.

Self-Control

What's Stronger Than Willpower?

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on May 13, 2014

Many valued goals require something even greater than the ability to exercise willpower. Long-term goals require a deep and pervasive internal drive. In short, they require commitment.

Many valued goals require something even greater than the ability to exercise willpower. Long-term goals require a deep and pervasive internal drive. In short, they require commitment.

Relationships

What the Happiest Couples Are Guilty Of

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on April 29, 2014

When you decide to commit, the time is right to see your partner in the same way the happiest couples do—even if it’s an illusion.

When you decide to commit, the time is right to see your partner in the same way the happiest couples do—even if it’s an illusion.

People who are both successful and happy don’t automatically say yes or no. Instead, they base their answer on well-defined criteria.

Pornography

It Doesn’t Hurt to Look, Does It?

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on March 7, 2014

You might think viewing pornography wouldn’t hurt a real-life relationship. There are some who even claim erotic materials impact their relationship in a positive way. So a team of researchers at Florida State University developed an experiment to determine how consuming pornography affects commitment to romantic relationships.

You might think viewing pornography wouldn’t hurt a real-life relationship. There are some who even claim erotic materials impact their relationship in a positive way. So a team of researchers at Florida State University developed an experiment to determine how consuming pornography affects commitment to romantic relationships.

Sex

5 Things Not to Say on Valentine’s Day

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on February 7, 2014

All holidays are filled with the potential for great joy…or serious disappointment. Many of us have experienced both sides during the Christmas holiday, but Valentine’s Day carries its own risks, especially if you say or do something wrong. Here are five things to avoid saying on Cupid’s day.

All holidays are filled with the potential for great joy…or serious disappointment. Many of us have experienced both sides during the Christmas holiday, but Valentine’s Day carries its own risks, especially if you say or do something wrong. Here are five things to avoid saying on Cupid’s day.

Sex

Embrace Your "Ugly Sexy"

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on January 24, 2014

We can be intensely attracted to people who aren't considered "beautiful" by evolutionary psychology standards, and this tells us something about sexiness.

We can be intensely attracted to people who aren't considered "beautiful" by evolutionary psychology standards, and this tells us something about sexiness.

Intelligence

My Gritty Confession

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on January 15, 2014

There’s no shame in not being lucky, brilliant, or naturally gifted. What matters for most of us is that at some point we learn a life-changing lesson: Grit is king.

There’s no shame in not being lucky, brilliant, or naturally gifted. What matters for most of us is that at some point we learn a life-changing lesson: Grit is king.

Cognition

3 Words to Change The Direction of a Conflict

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on March 21, 2013

Language choices matter, and nowhere is that more true than during a conflict. Three words that have the capacity to move conflict in a positive direction: future, together, and interests.

Language choices matter, and nowhere is that more true than during a conflict. Three words that have the capacity to move conflict in a positive direction: future, together, and interests.

Relationships

Is "The Bachelor" Hurting Your Relationship?

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on February 26, 2013

Half of our “tube time” consists of programming with romantic themes. According to research, those images may be having an effect on our real-world commitment.

Half of our “tube time” consists of programming with romantic themes. According to research, those images may be having an effect on our real-world commitment.

Career

Awkward Workplace Friendships

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on January 22, 2013

How can we get over the barriers to male-female friendship in the workplace?

How can we get over the barriers to male-female friendship in the workplace?

Marriage

Why The Medium Matters As Much As The Message

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on August 2, 2012

Problems occur when we select the wrong medium for a particular message—or we stay with a medium that isn’t working. So, how can we match the medium to the message? Here are some things to consider.

Problems occur when we select the wrong medium for a particular message—or we stay with a medium that isn’t working. So, how can we match the medium to the message? Here are some things to consider.

Do you ever wonder how you can say “no” without feeling like a jerk, or being so unclear that they don’t hear your “no” as a “no”? Starting with something positive, and then repeating your assertive statement, is often the perfect way to get your message through.

Jealousy

3 Ways to Manage Jealousy and Strengthen Your Relationship

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on May 29, 2012

Jealousy often gets a bad name, and with good reason. But jealousy also has its benefits. Here are three ways to keep your relationship strong during jealousy.

Jealousy often gets a bad name, and with good reason. But jealousy also has its benefits. Here are three ways to keep your relationship strong during jealousy.

A surprising impact of sex in friendship

Personality

How To Be Happier With Your Decisions

Heidi Reeder Ph.D. on March 13, 2012

Being a trade-up kind of person or a good-enough kind of person makes a big difference when it comes to satisfaction with your choices.

Being a trade-up kind of person or a good-enough kind of person makes a big difference when it comes to satisfaction with your choices.