Should You Leave Social Media?

Social media platforms like Facebook are such a common part of our lives; scrolling, posting, and “liking” is an integral part of the day. It’s just as common as that first sip of coffee, and check-ins multiple times a day are the norm.

However, it’s not uncommon for some people to feel as though Facebook, and other social media platforms, are becoming too time consuming and riddled with gossip, what-ifs, innuendo, humble brags, and arguments.

If you’re on the brink of leaving Facebook permanently, you may be wrestling with a slew of “should I stay or should I go” emotions.

Leave social media platforms isn’t a decision that always comes easily. “It's a very personal decision that can bring about both liberation and challenges as we adapt to that shift,” says Dr. Daniel Glazer, a clinical psychologist with a special interest in trauma. Dr. Glazer is the co-founder of several health technology platforms including U.S. Therapy Rooms. He refers to the decision as a “lifestyle reset,” explaining that it’s an involved process that can “pave the way for more intentional, authentic living aligned with your deeper principles.”

^{Why Social Media is So Hard to Resist}

Most people are aware that they spend a great deal of time on social media. Perhaps we check in during work, maybe we scroll indoors when it's a sunny day outside, or maybe we lose sleep wondering if a particular person posted a response.

There's a reason this happens: our brains are literally wired to continue scrolling, posting, and taking deep-dives down the comment section rabbit hole for a reason. “Social media feeds our addiction to dopamine hits,” says Diane Hilleary, L.C.S.W, psychotherapist and executive director, Atlanta Center for Self-Compassion. “Leaving it behind can bring up feelings of boredom, agitation, or feelings of sadness or loneliness that we’ve been suppressing.”

Dr. Lisa Strohman, a clinical psychologist, attorney, and author who is recognized as a specialist on the intersection of psychology and technology explains the hold social media can have. “Facebook has created a platform that brilliantly created an online world that provides the illusion of personal connections as it continues to build algorithms that push our more personal intimate relationships to the wayside with a goal to build more and more connections,” she says. “As this is happening, it creates a need to be constantly connected and to maintain these relationships, which boosts the production of stress hormones and increases anxiety and depressive symptoms.”

For a lot of people, there's an undeniable feeling that there's more to life beyond the computer screen, but the thought of deleting all or most social media accounts can leave them riddled with anxiety and loneliness.

If you do leave, know that there will be both challenges and benefits. Here’s what to expect, according to experts.

The Benefits of Deleting Social Media Accounts

Improved Mental Health

Dr. Strohman, who is also the founder of Digital Citizen Academy—one of the first organizations to focus on eliminating issues such as cyber-bullying, child luring, sextortion, and suicide through prevention and diversion programs, events, and resources—explains that giving up social media likely does wonders for mental health. “Studies have shown that reducing or eliminating social media use can decrease feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness,” she says. “Without the constant comparison to others' curated lives, individuals may experience better self-esteem and overall mood.” Additionally, Dr. Strohman says that the ongoing stream of social pressure, negativity, and online bickering can leave people stressed. Reducing this exposure may generate increased levels of peace.

Immediate Sense of Freedom

Dr. Glazer says that when you leave social media platforms like Facebook, “the constant stimulation and indulgence in other people's meticulously crafted lives is gone.” He explains that many people have reported feeling “an immense sense of freedom after hitting delete on their social media accounts.” Gone are the days of living life based on who is doing or saying what behind a screen. “There's a relief from that nagging fear of missing out and the relentless cycle of seeking validation through likes, shares, and comments,” Dr. Glazer notes. “With those inputs removed, they find it easier to stay grounded in the present moment instead of getting caught up in comparisons or curation of their online persona.”

Less Comparison, Competition

Are your meals as nicely prepared and presented as your friend's dinners? Is your complexion as flawless as your colleague's filtered, smooth one? Is your home as impressive as that college acquaintance you knew 15 years ago? “Social media fosters increased thoughts of comparing ourselves to others,” says Hilleary. “Whether we feel we come out on top or on the bottom, there still breeds inner and outer division and competition. Spending less time looking at the best moments from other people’s lives can help us anchor into a mindset based in human connection and compassion.”

Dr. Ben Bernstein, a psychologist at Silver Hill Hospital, a premiere mental health institution in New Canaan, CT, explains that parting ways with social media can indeed be beneficial. “You’re going to have more time and energy for the more fulfilling parts of your life,” he says. “On a deeper level, you will find that you compare yourself less frequently to others, which will likely make you happier on a day-to-day basis."

Social Media Essential Reads

Sharenting: Should You Share Photos and Information About Your Kids Online?

A One-Week Break From Social Media Can Have a Big Payoff

Some Challenges of Leaving Social Media Behind

Missed Opportunities

Leaving social media platforms can mean falling out of contact with longtime contacts as well as forging new friendships. Not being so close to this, Bernstein explains, may lead to missing out, including on a major life moment: finding love. “I have been off of Facebook for nearly a decade,” he says. “But I started dating my now-wife after she posted on Facebook that she was looking for someone to buy her desk chair.” He ended up asking her to take a walk together (he already had a chair) and the rest, as they say, is history. “So, if you leave social media, you may feel happier,” Dr. Bernstein says, “but you might also miss out on true love. Tough choice.”

More Effort to Stay on Top of Your Interests

Dr. Lisa Strohman points to social media as a personal hub for accessing friends, activities, news, and more. “Without it, staying informed on the algorithms that are specific to your interests may require more effort,” she says. Therefore, you may need to visit several different websites or apps to learn more about your favorite sports team, band, or news preferences. You might miss having the one stop shopping convenience that social media provides.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

This can be a biggie. Dr. Strohman says that fear of missing out is a common emotional response when leaving social media behind and that it strikes most heavily during the early stages of deleting an account. “It can lead to feelings of regret or curiosity about what others are doing,” she explains. People may feel deep pangs of loss when they remove themselves from something they engaged in regularly.

Tips to Help Navigate Life Post-Facebook

“For folks who have been avid users for years, there can be a period of adaptation as they adjust to these new dynamics,” Dr. Glazer says. “This might involve feelings of purposelessness or boredom without the constant stimulation of the platform. Additionally, self-doubt can arise due to societal pressures that promote a perpetual online presence.”

Be Realistic

It's essential to understand the reasons behind why you’re doing this and to honor this. “The healthiest approach is to treat this as a very intentional lifestyle transition aligned with your personal values, not an impulsive rash decision,” Dr. Glazer says. “Be realistic that some temporary discomfort or feelings of ambivalence are perfectly normal parts of adjusting to behavioral change. Don't be afraid to share your intention with loved ones who can support you through the tougher moments.”

Go Easy on Yourself

Dr. Glazer feels that it’s important to show self-compassion during this time. “Keep notes to process whatever unexpected thoughts or emotions bubble up. And consciously fill your newfound time and attention with activities and experiences that genuinely enrich you from the inside out.” What if you find yourself feeling restless or often reminiscing about all of your friends’ lives, posts, and pictures? Dr. Strohman says that it’s normal to feel a sense of boredom or to be nostalgic over past interactions. However, she encourages people to focus more on the fact that with social media’s distractions by the wayside, it’s possible to “engage in deeper self-reflection and mindfulness, gaining better insights into emotions and behaviors.”

Get Involved with Real-Life People and Interests

Dr. Bernstein emphasizes the importance of engaging in interactions with others, in-person. “It’s important to cultivate real-life in-person relationships,” he says. He suggests activities including taking regular walks with a friend, signing up for classes outside of the home, or even just getting a coffee with someone as ways to "replace the lonely scrolling with deep and meaningful connections."

"On a practical level, I suggest deactivating and deleting the app from your phone," Dr. Bernstein says. That makes it very hard to re-join.”

If you’ve been on the fence about whether or not to sign off of social media, take the time to consider the pros and cons. Everyone’s needs and reasons for using them differ. For some, staying logged in is an important and enjoyable part of life. For others, what used to be enjoyable has become a replay loop of insecurities, misunderstandings, and conversation substitutes.

If you fall into the latter category, consider sitting with Dr. Glazer’s words for a while: When you are no longer using these platforms, you have “a renewed motivation to cultivate deeper, real-world relationships outside of shallow online interactions. Your self-image can also improve as you're not seeking affirmation through metrics. With patience and an open mind, this lifestyle reset can absolutely pave the way for more intentional, authentic living aligned with your deeper principles. But managing expectations is crucial so you can work through the transition constructively. The freedom, on the other side, can be absolutely worth the labor of rewriting those default circuits.”