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Your young infant lies in a crib staring endlessly at a ray of light passing through the window shades. At this moment, your baby is showing the innate curiosity that all children have when they are born. As the young child grows, the child will repeatedly crawl over to a light socket because it seems simply dazzling, or continually toss a spoon overboard from the high chair to see what happens when it falls—even if you repeatedly say "no."
Many times parents get angry, concluding that their child is being obstinate when he or she do not listen. They may even become fearful that they have failed as parents because they have raised their child to be oppositional. In truth, these explorations are a natural part of a child's learning about the world. While curiosity can lead children into risky behavior, and we must be on alert to keep them safe, our job as parents is to support children’s natural curiosity and their learning process.
Experts call curiosity the key to learning and have found that children who are curious are more successful at school and in life. Why?
Studies have actually shown that there is a physiological connection between curiosity, pleasure, and learning. In one study at the University of California conducted by psychologist Charan Ranganath, participants were connected to an MRI machine and asked 100 questions about random topics and to rate their curiosity about the subject. When asked a question that raised the individual’s curiosity, researchers noted activity in the same area of the brain that reacts to a reward or a treat.
Not only that, but the participant’s curiosity also activated the hippocampus, a part of the brain involved in the creation of memories. As a result, when tested at the end of the experiment the participants remembered the right answers to the questions that had piqued their curiosity. Here are some ways to encourage natural curiosity:
Show an acceptance and enthusiasm for curiosity. If your child is sitting and studying an ant hill, you can say, " I can see that you're very curious about how ants live. Tell me about what you see.” Your words convey that you value your child’s curiosity and are interested in his explorations.
Set limits on curiosity in a positive way. Curiosity can lead to many complicated and often risky or negative behaviors. You can show an acceptance of curiosity even if your child’s behavior needs to change. For example if your toddler starts to yank the cat’s tail, you can say, “I can see you are curious about the cat’s tail, but you can’t pull it.” For an older child you might say, “It’s okay to be curious about the physical differences between you and your brother, but you cannot touch his private parts. We can talk about your bodies or read a book about the differences in children’s bodies.”
Respond to your child’s creativity. Curiosity also fosters creativity. Your young child will make a person out of clay because he is fascinated about how all the parts of an individual fit together. Children love to share their discoveries and accomplishments with you and to receive positive feedback. When your child calls out, “Mommy, I made an airplane with my legos,” try to stop what you’re doing, make eye contact, and offer praise and encouragement, whenever possible. Even a quick moment of praise counts. Your reaction will give your children the feeling that they are good learners, their curiosity is valued, and it encourages them to explore and create some more.
Answer your child’s seemingly endless stream of questions. Children’s questions show their interest in the world, and it is one of the major ways that kids learn. When you answer your child’s questions you not only teach your child something valuable about the world, but you show respect for the child’s thoughts and learning process. Be careful not to brush off your child’s questions, because it may cause a child to feel ashamed and think,“That must have been a dumb question. Maybe I’m not smart.”
If you are busy or tired from responding to questions about the moon and the stars, handle your child gently by saying: “I really want to answer you. Please hold that thought for a minute.” Or you could try, “As soon as I wash this plate, I'm all ears.” And if you don’t have an answer, you can say, “I don’t know the answer. Let’s look this up when we get home.” Parents do not have to have all the answers.
Support your child’s interests. Curiosity often shows up as a powerful interest in one specific subject or activity. A young child may be completely enamored with bugs and talk about them at breakfast, lunch and dinner. All his games and projects may become focused on the number of legs different insects have or their disparate menu du jour.
Older children may fall in love with astronomy and live and breathe for the adventure of looking through a telescope. As tiring as it can be to deal with the repetitive nature of your child’s interest, it’s important to support this interest. Buy your children books on the beloved topic, enroll them in museum classes and let them experience the joy of delving deeply into an interest. Have patience too. Over time this love of his life is likely to be replaced by another passion.
