Becoming Your Favourite Self

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So often, we spend so much of our time trying to live up to a perfect image of who we believe we ought to be. This version of ourselves that we strive for often involves changing parts of who we are, consciously or subconsciously, to meet certain standards and expectations—sometimes self-imposed and sometimes placed on us by the outside world. We can get so caught up on becoming this version of who we think we should be or need to be that we forget to show ourselves grace and show up for ourselves in the present—in the messy middle.

Rather than relentlessly pursuing your highest, ideal, or best self at all times, my invitation is for you to pause, get curious, and reflect deeply for a moment: What does it feel like to be your favourite self? This is the version of yourself I wish for you to embody more often.

Connecting With Your Favourite Self

Connecting with your favourite self is a powerful recovery strategy. It helps us move out of our default setting and allows a more tender, authentic side of us to take the lead. We move into a place where we feel welcome to meet ourselves as we are.

In a world that holds us to such high standards when it comes to things like our physicality, productivity, aging, and more, thinking about the parts of ourselves that feel most authentic and bring us internal joy and fulfillment can be quite liberating. No one gets to decide who your favourite self is except for you.

Asking yourself, “Who am I when I am my favourite self?” can help to dismantle a lot of the roles, obligations, shoulds, and have-tos in our lives and allow us to reconnect with the parts of us that are looking to shine. There’s also a sense of curiosity and freedom that comes with inviting your favourite self out to play.

For me, there’s a sense of lightness, ease, peace, and merriment that comes with my favourite self. When I’m my favourite self, I don’t feel weighed down by the weight of the world, and worrying feels like the biggest waste of time. And there’s often humour, music, and family involved when I am my favourite version of myself.

I have asked this question to many groups and people I’ve worked with, and I hear them echo similar sentiments. I have heard people share that when they’re their favourite version of themselves, they don’t worry as much, there’s a silliness or childlikeness to them, they’re up for new adventures, and the list goes on.

When people hold this thought of their favourite self, it quiets the inner critic and negative self-talk and breaks them open in this beautiful way. It creates space for true self-love and appreciation. My hope for you is that you can embrace your favourite self and bring more of these moments into your life. When we set the intention to connect with these parts of ourselves, we will begin to see more opportunities for creating these moments.

Reflecting on Your Favourite Self

I encourage you to envision scenarios where your favourite self comes to life. What words come to mind? What moments, memories, and experiences stand out? Reflecting on your favourite self can also serve as a great journaling exercise.

Here are some key questions to help further guide your reflection. Some of these questions are very similar, but they may elicit different responses.

• Who are you when you are your favourite self?
• What does it feel like when you’re your favourite version of you?
• Where are you the most like the “you” you want to be?
• Who is around you when you are your favourite version of yourself?
• When do you feel the most alive and true to who you are?
• What activities or moments bring out the most genuine version of you?
• What are you doing (or not doing) when you’re your favourite self?
• What can you do to connect with your favourite self today?

Self-Esteem Essential Reads

“I’m Not Good Enough”

Mirror, Mirror: The Danger of Empty Reflections

Once you have clarity around who you are when you are your favourite self, it becomes easier to align more of your actions and behaviours with that state of being.

Embracing Your Favourite Self

My final invitation is for you to connect with your favourite self today. Bring your favourite version of you out to play. And tomorrow, find ways to connect with those parts of you all over again. The world needs more of that kind of you. You may come to realize that you needed more of that kind of you, too.