In Praise of Anticipation

Hourglass Time Sand

Source: Alexas_Fotos / Pixabay

“Is there anything that you are looking forward to?” This is a question that I try to ask my patients, especially those who are in the midst of depression or are feeling overwhelmed. The question often stumps them initially, although almost all are able to identify something tangible eventually. Invariably, they tend to feel better after they talk about the upcoming event.

In my view, anticipation is an underrated experience that we can all utilize more effectively. Travel anticipation is another example. A study out of China found that pre-travel anticipation significantly enhanced the happiness of both rural and urban Chinese residents. I haven’t found an equivalent American study, but I imagine it is similar. Many travel companies leverage this to encourage folks to invest their hard-earned money in experiences, such as trips, instead of material “things.” It might be in the travel company’s best interest, but it turns out it is also often true. While the luster of a new shirt or household item may fade, memories from a trip can last a lifetime.

If you are a parent, helping children to delay gratification can be a daunting task. This dilemma was immortalized by the famous Marshmallow Test and its successors. Sixty-seven percent of children could not resist popping a marshmallow in their mouths right away, even at the expense of a greater reward a mere 15 minutes away. Given this, how are we to promote delayed gratification about something days, weeks, or even months later? If it is Monday, they may have a hard time getting excited about that birthday party on Saturday. The same can be said of an upcoming trip.

For my family, spring break is several weeks away. My kids want to be in Florida now. Here are some things I am doing to help build the anticipation of the trip and to engage them in the process. As you will see, our emphasis is on including them in various aspects of the trip.

Include them in the planning.

This increases their investment in the trip and helps them to feel less passive about the experience. Since we are spending some time with grandparents and at Disney World, we are talking about specific ways we can make the most of those experiences. I ask questions like, “Which rides are a must for you?” and “What special things would you like to do with Grandma?”

Include them in the budgeting.

If you have traveled recently, you know that prices have gone up for nearly everything. We don’t guilt trip the kids about this, but we do speak with them directly about it. We have identified one specific area in which they can contribute to the cost of the trip: the Disney tickets. We factually outlined how much they are and asked them to work around the house doing age-appropriate tasks in order to earn them. They don’t love the work, honestly, but they can grasp the concept, which will serve them well later in life.

Include them in the packing.

Whenever we go on a trip, we ask that each child pack a bag for themselves. This encourages them to picture the trip and utilize their executive function to anticipate what they will want or need on it. Depending on a child’s age, parents will need to supplement the forgotten items, of course, or else most trips would not involve toothbrushes or practical clothing.

If you do not have children, this does not mean that anticipation is irrelevant. Quite the contrary. You can look ahead to restaurant picks at your destination, read about local events at the time of the visit, and plan a few excursions off the beaten track. All of these anticipatory events can build excitement, promote joy, and mitigate the inevitable wait until you can use your PTO days—all without leaving your living room.