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Key points
- It can be hard for many working women to relax.
- Self-care helps us to be better workers, family members, parents, and friends.
- Relaxation takes practice.
This post was written by guest author Nicola Blake, interim provost and vice president at Guttman Community College, a mom of two, and a Complete College America Fellow.
Taking a moment to rest and recharge sounds simple, right? But let's be honest—it's easier said than done, especially for those of us navigating the challenges of our 40- to 50-something bodies while juggling the demands of work, home, and life. I recently embarked on a daring mission to redeem a five-year-old spa gift card, an adventure that turned out to be both hilarious and eye-opening.
For half a decade, making an appointment for a massage had lingered on my to-do list. Finally, after two weeks of careful planning, I finished several morning meetings and took a cross-town bus to the nearest spa. I felt a sense of accomplishment as I stepped inside the doors for some well-deserved quiet and self-care.
Little did I know that the experience would unfold as an act of sheer comedy. My 46-year-young body, accustomed to constant multitasking, rebelled against the simple directive to “relax.” The poor masseuse must have questioned whether these struggles were part of an elaborate stand-up routine. Arms and feet refusing to cooperate, mind spiraling into a whirlwind of thoughts—emails, calls, grocery lists, work deadlines—all while desperately trying to let go.
A post-massage reflection led me to ponder why so many women, including my colleagues, find it difficult, if not impossible, to prioritize rest and rejuvenation. Despite giving 110 percent to work, friends, and family, the to-do lists around health and wellness often remain neglected.
My encounter at the spa made it clear to me that women need to set greater intentionality and practice the art of reserving time and space for our bodies. Importantly, this doesn't have to be an expensive adventure. It could be as simple as doing a puzzle as a method of relaxation. Other ideas for resting and recharging might include:
- Savoring a quiet cup of tea
- Starting a low-stakes art project
- Meditating
- Taking a walk
- Practicing deep breathing
- Exercising
- Doing yoga or chair yoga
- Stealing five minutes on the bathroom floor with a good book
Recognizing the socioeconomic and psychological barriers to self-care is vital. Rest and rejuvenation are privileges that often presuppose a certain level of financial security and the capacity to clear mental space for relaxation. However, this does not always have to be the case.
In my ongoing journey, I've committed to an express massage in February—a more budget-friendly option. This small step is part of my effort to retrain my seasoned body to embrace the concept of self-care.
So, armed with a mental checklist that includes mundane tasks like getting milk and groceries, responding to emails, clearing my schedule, and finally abandoning my to-do list for a few hours before quieting my body on that massage table, I'm once again boarding the bus in pursuit of a moment of self-care and self-discovery.
