Tips for Easing "The End of Summer Scaries”

Students often describe anxiety heading into the next week of classes, deadlines, and projects as the “Sunday Scaries.” They're about to turn into the “End of Summer Scaries”. We got comfortable with the flow of summer, but it all comes to a screeching halt in about a week. Here are some tips for managing the transition with ease and openness.

Start slow and be kind

Have you ever started reading a “how to transition to…” article and the first thing they say is “start early”? This does nothing but create more anxiety and stress! Instead of focusing on what you have not done to prepare for back to school, focus on starting the process slowly and being kind to yourself.

Transitioning to the school year is not going to happen overnight. This is a long process. We all know the popular belief that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. This may or may not be totally accurate—it is hard to pinpoint the actual time it takes to get into a new routine. It could take triple this time. But what we do know with certainty is that slow and steady is the best policy. Starting slowly looks like taking small steps towards the larger goal of transitioning to all the newness. Going to bed earlier by just a few minutes each night is a great actionable item v.s. the two hours earlier you may need to ultimately get your kids to bed over the next few weeks. The other added benefit of starting slow is that it keeps stress levels more at bay. The goals shouldn’t get too big all at once, or the household feels the effects of these expectations in much larger ways.

Expect anxiety and be kind

Anxiety is completely normal. We might not even get out of bed with at least a little anxiety motivating us. Know that anxiety is to be expected and it will likely increase over the next few weeks. Heading into this time expecting anxiety will equip you better for the times it might or might not come up. Anxiety might look very small, like delaying getting out of bed. Or anxiety might look larger, like not going into the new classroom without a total meltdown. No matter what, try to meet the anxiety with kindness. Step one: Expect it. Step two: Talk calmly and nicely, because we can’t just force anxiety to go away.

Look for “beyond the bell curve” anxiety and be curious (and kind)

Again, anxiety is just a part of life. Typical anxiety fits nicely in the center of a bell curve and ranges slightly but stays in a normal range. But anxiety can show up as too little—where we struggle with motivation—or it can get too high—where we become debilitated. Keep this in mind when you are seeing your little one experience some trepidation about the new school year. Is the anxiety spilling into the debilitating side of the bell curve? If so, this is a time to really tune in and get curious. Ask more questions and keep them open-ended, and if this doesn’t work try to get creative. Kids respond well to creativity; ask your kid to draw or color some of their worries as a new way to access their concerns.

Again, show yourself kindness during this transition. Showing yourself kindness is another way of saying “self-compassion,” and this approach to oneself is linked to lower stress and better mental health outcomes. Incorporating self-compassion in the transition to school translates to being ok with the missteps. Don’t berate yourself for a forgotten snack or late bedtime. Go slow, be kind, and expect the messiness.