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At the end of each year, I think back to what went well in the therapy room, and what did not go well. This ensures that my clients get on the right side of calm quicker, and it keeps me focused on clinical outcomes. I rely on research around evidence-based practices, but I'm also big on simplifying psychology, wherever possible.
Working with anxious adults means simultaneously attacking overactive central nervous systems, and thoughts of catastrophic doom. Without this two-pronged approach, clients continue to experience rapid heart rates, tightness in the chest, sleepless nights and racing thoughts. The key is to manage anxiety so it does not manage you.
Let’s start with slowing your body. Essential steps focus on slow, deep breathing, grounding yourself in the present, and staying in the fray (rather than running away) in spite of the terrifying physical and mental sensations of panic. Reminding yourself that your success rate for overcoming anxiety attacks is 100%, helps, too. This article explains the five essential steps for taking control of panic, while this one offers a multitude of tips on calming your body.
Now let's take on your brain. Regardless of what lead you to feel depressed or anxious, you must change your mind. In short, you have to think differently. The following five steps can help you get on the other side of destructive, unhealthy thoughts.
Step One: Focus on Thought Awareness
Why?: Your thoughts are rooted in your personality, values, and upbringing. Unique to you, they are your opinions of your inner self and the outside world. Believe it or not, some people do not recognize their negative thoughts. According to the National Science Foundation we have up to 50,000 thoughts per day. Complicating matters is that many of our thoughts are automatic, and/or unconscious.
How: Knowing what’s going on in your mind is the cornerstone of self-awareness. The first step to undoing any unhealthy habit is to recognize its existence. A useful tool is to keep a record of your most prevalent negative thoughts throughout the day. You don’t need to get fancy — a notebook, a word document or voice memo on your mobile device will do. After a couple weeks of recording your thoughts, you’ll notice negative patterns.
Step Two: Identify Troublesome Thoughts
Why?: The key is to strike a balance between spending enough time on your problems, but not over-doing it. The tendency may be to avoid your worries, but this habit only makes you more anxious. On the other hand, excessive worrying leads to rumination which can leave you feeling depleted, hopeless and more depressed.
How: A helpful intervention is to schedule daily “worry time.” This could be ten minutes, or it could be thirty. Focus on the issues at hand, and on the actions you can take to remedy your situation.
Step Three: Reframe Out Loud
Why?: Reframing negative thoughts to more positive, realistic thoughts is crucial. Research shows that studying aloud is associated with better outcomes than studying silently.
How: Prep like you would for a psychology exam and speak on it: “I didn’t reach my goals at work, but now I know what to focus on for the next quarter,” or “My marriage isn’t perfect, but intentional effort on listening to my partner rather than reacting to past arguments will improve our relationship.” We often notice faulty thinking when we hear our own voices.
Step Four: Stop the Runaway Train in its Tracks!
Why?: Negative thoughts beget negative outcomes. Our minds are wired with a negative bias, so ignore misleading gut reactions telling you to throw in the towel.
How: Flip the give up switch by recognizing what is within your control — think preparation, options and execution. Problem-solving can only occur when you’re open and flexible about your resources. Sometimes negativity is so ingrained, you almost need a crowbar to get out from under its toxic grip. Here’s a simple question to ask yourself when caught in the negativity cycle: “Is what I’m doing now helping?”
Step Five: Let Go and Move On
Why?: Just as you designate "worrying time," you must let go and move on. We have a finite amount of mental energy daily, and you don’t have to solve all your problems overnight.
How: Transition from negativity to reality through activity. Go outside, walk your dog, talk to a neighbor, or go for a run. Nothing gets us out of our heads like physical activity.
You’re the expert on your life, and negative thoughts don’t have to drive your destiny anymore. I urge you to embrace these two words today and every day:
Think differently.
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~Linda Esposito
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