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Kids are impressionable. When they hear people talk about other people in derogatory or belittling ways, they often internalize that belief system. If there are people in their life that denigrate others by nationality, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or some other way, children will pick up on it. Barring other information, they often believe that the prejudices espoused by adults are true. That is one of the reasons that racism is generational. It is passed on from adults to children.
That is why it is so important for adults to be aware of what is said around their children and the type of information that is communicated to them. Casual prejudicial and/or derogatory language from a relative or a neighbor is like a virus that permeates into a child’s psyche. They hear it, and barring any other information to the contrary, often adapt it as part of their belief system. It can sometimes take years to undo internalized beliefs that children hear while they are growing up.
The more parents and other caregivers are aware of what is being said to their children, the more likely they can help undo the damage that comes from the influence of people’s casual prejudices. We’ve been told that children are like sponges, absorbing information from the world around them, and it’s true. It’s important that we talk with them about their beliefs so we can find out if they’ve been infected by racism or other forms of prejudice.
We all have people in our lives that have beliefs we don’t agree with all of the time. Sometimes these are people who casually make prejudicial statements or put down others by their race, nationality or gender. Maybe they are family members who we long ago realized we couldn’t do anything that would change their minds. While we may know they are prejudiced and just spewing out their uninformed beliefs, our children do not. Children may accept what they say on face value and the next thing you know, are saying the same hurtful rhetoric to their friends or teachers, unaware of the harmful nature of those views.
Whether it’s an uncle who spews out racist beliefs, or a neighbor who makes homophobic comments, children are listening. Children hear them. That’s why it’s important that we talk with them so they have a way to ask questions and gain a better understanding about their belief systems. People are diverse. No matter what their race, ethnicity or sexual orientation, they deserve to be treated with respect and an open mind.
Of course, children still need to learn to be safe around adults they don’t know, however, they don’t need to be more afraid of someone just because they are of a certain race or gender. In fact, it may be more dangerous for a child to only fear specific groups of people since that means they may be too trusting of adults they have not been prejudiced against.
The more we recognize that prejudicial comments cannot be left unanswered and that children often accept what they hear without examination, the more we can minimize racism and other forms of prejudice spreading throughout the world. Communication and discussion is the key to helping children gain clarity so they are not just repeating other people’s prejudiced beliefs.
