Secret Agents
How to pick a secret-keeper.
By Jacquie Itsines published November 3, 2015 - last reviewed on June 10, 2016
How can we detect whether someone will safeguard a delicate secret? We're trusting David DeSteno, a Northeastern University psychologist and the author of The Truth About Trust, for advice.
"Just because someone's been reliable in the past doesn't mean that they'll deliver again—especially if they've recently undergone some significant life change. Is your prospective trustee out of a job? Did she recently become friends with someone who could benefit from your secret? Moral behavior is situational, so the more your confidant has to gain at the time, the more likely he'll be to treat your weakness as juicy gossip. But this person's current state isn't the only one worth monitoring. Before you spill, consider how your own emotions have the power to alter your expectations. If you're feeling happy, you may underestimate how poorly someone else's interests align with yours."