Eccentric's Corner/Q+A: The Toughest Man In the World

Ed Hamell

PROFESSION: Musician, poet of the underground.
CLAIM TO FAME: Wrote a song a day for a year to stay sane and sober following his divorce.

For a quarter-century Ed Hamell has been a troubadour of troubles, using his life's raw material to create rhythmically insistent songs about everything from chronic drug and alcohol use to his parents' murder-suicide. After his recent divorce he wrote 533 songs (roughly one a day) and posted them to YouTube as a survival tactic. His songs are anything but sad; they're triumphant and soaring. Hamell's albums include Songs for Parents Who Enjoy Drugs, The Terrorism of Everyday Life, The Chord Is Mightier Than the Sword, and after a near-fatal car crash, Ed's Not Dead.

Your latest album, The Happiest Man in the World, comes after a devastating divorce, but it's a triumphantly stoic statement.

I was married for 23 years, and when my marriage broke up, I didn't see it coming. I'd also been sober the exact same number of years, so to keep myself busy I wrote a song a day for more than a year.

That's emotional resilience.

My happiness was genuine because I really started from scratch on everything. It was a nightmare to start, but I was at a genuine turning point, and there's no irony in that title: Starting again made me feel like the happiest man. There's plenty of irony on the album but not in that song.

How could you feel happy at such a low personal point?

The creed of passion gives me amazing joy. I'm lucky that I do what I love. Some musicians love to write but don't know how to perform; some love to perform but don't know how to write. I get to write and perform: I love it all. I get a buzz that's genuine. My statement is not ironic or smug. Irony is for kids.

Why the song-a-day regimen?

Idleness is the devil's playground. I'm staying sober, and it kept my muscles toned.

When you perform, you have a persona that's provocative but simultaneously seems to need the audience's approval.

I bristle when you ask about audience approval. My audience is me. If I walk into a club, I do what I'd like to see. If someone's too didactic or snooty, I think, Dude, would it kill you to tell a joke? I want to put on a show, but I also wear walkouts as a badge of honor.

You've written a sensitive and uplifting song about a murder-suicide, and the song is about your own parents.

You've written a sensitive and uplifting song about a murder-suicide, and the song is about your own parents.

When my mother was suffering from Alzheimer's disease, my father killed her and then took his own life. The song is called "Father's Advice" and one verse is as follows: "Your grandma and grandpa were married 50 years, then your grandma lost her mind/Your grandpa killed her and then he killed himself so he wouldn't get left behind/You'd better love, you'd better love, you'd better love until you die."

Did the death of your parents affect your view of life?

Not to be flip, but no, not really. I was already a realist. My near-fatal car accident didn't change my views either. Now I see time running out a bit. I can probably perform effectively for only another 20 years, until I'm 80, so that saddens me.

In concert, you perform these poignant songs, then you'll tell a vulgar joke. Can you discuss that contrast?

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. I'm also skeptical of people who get too far up their own ass.

So you're counteracting lack of humor with silliness? You once performed "Open Up The Gates," which is about your mother's death, then did a dick joke.

I'd get bigger audiences if I played it straight, but I don't know whether I'd trust them.

So humor and profanity are leveling forces?

You're more effective with one foot in the gutter and a hand reaching for the stars. I trust that approach, at least. I think Jesus Christ would swear like a sailor if he or she ever came back. A good example would be Johnny Cash's live album At Folsom Prison. That's about as close to Jesus as you're going to get in contemporary culture.

You also used the car accident as material.

There was a lot of gratitude that I could eventually play again. But that whole episode was nothing compared to the unexpected breakup of my marriage. I do wonder whether I could have been more aware in my marriage.

Is your failed marriage your main regret?

When you read what hospice workers hear from the dying—statements such as "I wish I'd traveled," "I wish I hadn't spent so much energy at the office"—I know I'm never going to have those regrets. I've lived my life as I wanted to live it, for better or for worse.

Did you ever consider a more conventional career path?

I got my degree in accounting. My father was dead set on it—he saw what the end of every month could bring. If I had one wish, it would be to sing like Sinatra or Sam Cooke. But you work with what you've got.