Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists in Washington

Photo of Shawnna M Robinson, MA, LMHC
Shawnna M Robinson
Mental Health Counselor, MA, LMHC
Verified Verified
Bellevue, WA 98005  (Online Only)
My areas of focus are preteens, teens, and adults. I specialize with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD, eating disorders, trauma, parenting concerns, family conflict, and self-esteem issues. I work with individuals 10 years old and up. Sessions are focused on your unique needs. Interventions are engaged that will help foster a healthy sense of self and promote healing. My session is a safe space with acceptance at the core. I am humbled to join with an individual and support them in their life story. In our sessions, your voice will be honored and used as a resource to obtain your goals.
My areas of focus are preteens, teens, and adults. I specialize with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD, eating disorders, trauma, parenting concerns, family conflict, and self-esteem issues. I work with individuals 10 years old and up. Sessions are focused on your unique needs. Interventions are engaged that will help foster a healthy sense of self and promote healing. My session is a safe space with acceptance at the core. I am humbled to join with an individual and support them in their life story. In our sessions, your voice will be honored and used as a resource to obtain your goals.
(425) 215-1322 View (425) 215-1322
Photo of Anna White, MS Ed, LMHCA, Counselor
Anna White
Counselor, MS Ed, LMHCA
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98103  (Online Only)
I work with all kinds of people, but I especially welcome queer, trans, Jewish, and autistic people. I also specialize in working with neurodivergent people, people with trauma, and people with BPD or related traits. My goal is to help you navigate hard times, and to assist you in your journey to a deeper understanding of yourself.
I work with all kinds of people, but I especially welcome queer, trans, Jewish, and autistic people. I also specialize in working with neurodivergent people, people with trauma, and people with BPD or related traits. My goal is to help you navigate hard times, and to assist you in your journey to a deeper understanding of yourself.
(747) 477-2073 View (747) 477-2073
Photo of Nikki Gorman, MA, LMHC, LPC-MH, LPCC, Counselor
Nikki Gorman
Counselor, MA, LMHC, LPC-MH, LPCC
Verified Verified
Camas, WA 98607  (Online Only)
Empathetic therapist offering compassion and healing; helping to build resilience through skill building, trauma work, and self-discovery. I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for individuals to explore and process behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that can lead to isolation, anger, relationship strain, anxiety, panic, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations. With a strengths-based approach, empowering clients to reclaim a sense of control and restore self-confidence. Specializing in trauma, religious trauma, borderline personality, anxiety, depression, sexual health, postpartum, LGBTQIA+ support, EMDR, CBT, and DBT trained.
Empathetic therapist offering compassion and healing; helping to build resilience through skill building, trauma work, and self-discovery. I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for individuals to explore and process behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that can lead to isolation, anger, relationship strain, anxiety, panic, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations. With a strengths-based approach, empowering clients to reclaim a sense of control and restore self-confidence. Specializing in trauma, religious trauma, borderline personality, anxiety, depression, sexual health, postpartum, LGBTQIA+ support, EMDR, CBT, and DBT trained.
(360) 227-0789 View (360) 227-0789
Photo of Melody McKibbin, LMHC, Counselor
Melody McKibbin
Counselor, LMHC
Verified Verified
Spokane, WA 99201  (Online Only)
Hello! I’m Melody—your partner on the path to mental wellness, with a specialization in Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) and a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Level II Accreditation. I believe therapy is more than just a task; it's a transformative journey, and I’m here to help untangle the complexities of the mind and guide you toward clarity. When I’m not working with clients, you’ll find me weaving stories of murder and comedy, where mannequins take center stage as suspects. Outside of work, I enjoy quality time with my Russian Blue cats and catching up with family and friends.
Hello! I’m Melody—your partner on the path to mental wellness, with a specialization in Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) and a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Level II Accreditation. I believe therapy is more than just a task; it's a transformative journey, and I’m here to help untangle the complexities of the mind and guide you toward clarity. When I’m not working with clients, you’ll find me weaving stories of murder and comedy, where mannequins take center stage as suspects. Outside of work, I enjoy quality time with my Russian Blue cats and catching up with family and friends.
(509) 519-4236 View (509) 519-4236
Photo of Shelley Bunn, MA, LCMHCA, Counselor
Shelley Bunn
Counselor, MA, LCMHCA
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Kelso, WA 98626
I have a deep understanding of BPD, how to treat it, and what it takes to repair romantic and familial relationships.
Feeling misunderstood and unloved by those closest to us is living hell. Pain, hopelessness, and anger burrow deep as repair seems impossible. It's exhausting to cope with past trauma while trying to keep things together in the present. Any added stress, anxiety, or depression is overwhelming. Those of you with Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) are struggling with these symptoms simultaneously and it's unbearable. I specialize in relationship repair and borderline personality disorder. In family, individual, or marriage counseling I can help you heal, connect, and once again find hope.
I have a deep understanding of BPD, how to treat it, and what it takes to repair romantic and familial relationships.
Feeling misunderstood and unloved by those closest to us is living hell. Pain, hopelessness, and anger burrow deep as repair seems impossible. It's exhausting to cope with past trauma while trying to keep things together in the present. Any added stress, anxiety, or depression is overwhelming. Those of you with Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) are struggling with these symptoms simultaneously and it's unbearable. I specialize in relationship repair and borderline personality disorder. In family, individual, or marriage counseling I can help you heal, connect, and once again find hope.
(910) 708-4632 View (910) 708-4632
Photo of Kris Bryant, MA, LMHC, LCPC, Counselor
Kris Bryant
Counselor, MA, LMHC, LCPC
Verified Verified
8 Endorsed
Seattle, WA 98101  (Online Only)
Waitlist for new clients
Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the gold standard treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and many other mental health concerns.
You live on an emotional roller coaster. You can't keep friends or a job. Hurting yourself feels better than hurting others. You question whether your life is worth living. Perhaps you diagnosed yourself on the internet or your doctor told you that you need something called "DBT." DBT is what I live and breathe.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the gold standard treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and many other mental health concerns.
You live on an emotional roller coaster. You can't keep friends or a job. Hurting yourself feels better than hurting others. You question whether your life is worth living. Perhaps you diagnosed yourself on the internet or your doctor told you that you need something called "DBT." DBT is what I live and breathe.
(405) 759-4178 View (405) 759-4178
Photo of Audrey Comber, LSWAIC, PPSC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Audrey Comber
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LSWAIC, PPSC
Verified Verified
Mukilteo, WA 98275  (Online Only)
If you have struggled with trauma related to childhood abuse, dysfunction, attachment issues; and/or interpersonal violence (domestic abuse, sexual abuse) I can help! I also specialize in helping clients diagnosed with BPD unpack and heal their underlying trauma. In working with me, you will learn how to HEAL your trauma without constant use of coping skills to dull the pain. First session is free.
If you have struggled with trauma related to childhood abuse, dysfunction, attachment issues; and/or interpersonal violence (domestic abuse, sexual abuse) I can help! I also specialize in helping clients diagnosed with BPD unpack and heal their underlying trauma. In working with me, you will learn how to HEAL your trauma without constant use of coping skills to dull the pain. First session is free.
(425) 470-5882 View (425) 470-5882
Photo of Kandis Cazenave, LPC, LMHCA, Licensed Professional Counselor
Kandis Cazenave
Licensed Professional Counselor, LPC, LMHCA
Verified Verified
Spokane, WA 99201
Waitlist for new clients
Hello and welcome! As a person, I value and respect all people equally, regardless of identity, ethnicity, beliefs, diagnoses, or behavior. As a clinician, I specialize in treating anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and other behavior disorders, Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (IDD), Autism, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Schizophrenia, among others. I define myself as an “eclectic therapist” who uses many different techniques and modalities to tailor treatment to every person as an individual.
Hello and welcome! As a person, I value and respect all people equally, regardless of identity, ethnicity, beliefs, diagnoses, or behavior. As a clinician, I specialize in treating anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and other behavior disorders, Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (IDD), Autism, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Schizophrenia, among others. I define myself as an “eclectic therapist” who uses many different techniques and modalities to tailor treatment to every person as an individual.
(509) 285-0973 View (509) 285-0973
Photo of Pam Snyder, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Pam Snyder
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Redmond, WA 98052  (Online Only)
I am licensed in Washington State and I work with adult children, partners and siblings of individuals with Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorder traits. It can be difficult to find a therapist who truly understands the impact and wounds of being raised in a home or being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits or borderline traits. My work includes creating a healthy psychological separation, changing the negative internal messages, learning how to respond to others, creating healthy boundaries, stopping the legacy of distorted love and becoming your true and authentic self.
I am licensed in Washington State and I work with adult children, partners and siblings of individuals with Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorder traits. It can be difficult to find a therapist who truly understands the impact and wounds of being raised in a home or being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits or borderline traits. My work includes creating a healthy psychological separation, changing the negative internal messages, learning how to respond to others, creating healthy boundaries, stopping the legacy of distorted love and becoming your true and authentic self.
(720) 838-4531 View (720) 838-4531
Photo of Fay LOUISE Slusher - Place of Mind, PLLC, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Place of Mind, PLLC
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Longview, WA 98632  (Online Only)
I work with psychotic disorders and Borderline Personality Disordered individuals, I am working with many individuals trying to assist them with clinical issues and treatment strategies, continuing to obtain more education to keep current.
I am an experienced Marriage and Family therapist who has worked in mental health for over 20 years. I have worked with patients who have displayed ADD, ADHD, ODD and GAD symptoms and adults who have been dealing with severe major depressive and anxiety disorders, at this time I work exclusively with adults. I have worked with psychotic behaviors and disorders, suicide and self-harming behaviors. Recently I have encountered many patients that have been severely impacted by the COVID epidemic regarding deficits in all areas of their lives.
I work with psychotic disorders and Borderline Personality Disordered individuals, I am working with many individuals trying to assist them with clinical issues and treatment strategies, continuing to obtain more education to keep current.
I am an experienced Marriage and Family therapist who has worked in mental health for over 20 years. I have worked with patients who have displayed ADD, ADHD, ODD and GAD symptoms and adults who have been dealing with severe major depressive and anxiety disorders, at this time I work exclusively with adults. I have worked with psychotic behaviors and disorders, suicide and self-harming behaviors. Recently I have encountered many patients that have been severely impacted by the COVID epidemic regarding deficits in all areas of their lives.
(360) 569-1814 View (360) 569-1814
Photo of Lindsey D Vaagen, LICSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Lindsey D Vaagen
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LICSW
Verified Verified
Yakima, WA 98901
I have completed ongoing trainings on topics such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder and trauma recovery (including EMDR and CPT).
I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and provide counseling services to individuals, couples, and families. My counseling methods include cognitive behavioral therapy, solution focused therapy, and I make an effort to incorporate your unique environment and circumstances into therapy. I enjoy working with adults and adolescents. Counseling goals are generated by each individual and treatment may be short or long term depending upon your needs. I work to meet the needs of each individual and have experience working with diverse populations including the GLBTQ+ community.
I have completed ongoing trainings on topics such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder and trauma recovery (including EMDR and CPT).
I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and provide counseling services to individuals, couples, and families. My counseling methods include cognitive behavioral therapy, solution focused therapy, and I make an effort to incorporate your unique environment and circumstances into therapy. I enjoy working with adults and adolescents. Counseling goals are generated by each individual and treatment may be short or long term depending upon your needs. I work to meet the needs of each individual and have experience working with diverse populations including the GLBTQ+ community.
(509) 774-3003 View (509) 774-3003
Photo of Brent Potter, PhD, PhD , PsyD , Counselor
Brent Potter
Counselor, PhD, PhD , PsyD
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98119
I am a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst with 30 years of direct experience. I have worked with diverse populations and Washington State endorses me as a Child Mental Health Specialist and Ethnic Minority Mental Health Specialist (Native and African American populations). I hold licenses in multiple states in both mental health as well as chemical dependency. I am the author of multiple Amazon best-sellers including 'Elements of Self-Destruction', ' Borderline Personality Disorder' (co-authored with Jacquie Gunn), and 'Elements of Reparation'. Above all, I am a proud father of two and a husband.
I am a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst with 30 years of direct experience. I have worked with diverse populations and Washington State endorses me as a Child Mental Health Specialist and Ethnic Minority Mental Health Specialist (Native and African American populations). I hold licenses in multiple states in both mental health as well as chemical dependency. I am the author of multiple Amazon best-sellers including 'Elements of Self-Destruction', ' Borderline Personality Disorder' (co-authored with Jacquie Gunn), and 'Elements of Reparation'. Above all, I am a proud father of two and a husband.
(206) 558-6391 View (206) 558-6391
Photo of Torie Wiksell, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Torie Wiksell
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Camas, WA 98607  (Online Only)
I'm passionate about helping my clients break toxic patterns and set healthier boundaries. I specialize in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in my practice. Additionally, I love to work with clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and OCD. My style is supportive, honest, and direct with a bit of humor sprinkled in. I love being a therapist, but I'm definitely not the perfect therapist for everyone. I'm straightforward, bubbly, and have been known to use profanity on occasion to emphasize a point!
I'm passionate about helping my clients break toxic patterns and set healthier boundaries. I specialize in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in my practice. Additionally, I love to work with clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and OCD. My style is supportive, honest, and direct with a bit of humor sprinkled in. I love being a therapist, but I'm definitely not the perfect therapist for everyone. I'm straightforward, bubbly, and have been known to use profanity on occasion to emphasize a point!
(360) 327-8525 View (360) 327-8525
Photo of Matthew Crawford, LMHC, Counselor
Matthew Crawford
Counselor, LMHC
Verified Verified
Pasco, WA 99301  (Online Only)
Hello, my name Matt Crawford, LMHC I am a licensed mental health counselor (LH 60810335). I take a person-centered approach to therapy, fostering a supportive environment where you can heal and thrive. My focus areas include depression, anxiety, trauma, marriage counseling, and borderline personality disorder, and I am committed to helping clients navigate their challenges effectively.
Hello, my name Matt Crawford, LMHC I am a licensed mental health counselor (LH 60810335). I take a person-centered approach to therapy, fostering a supportive environment where you can heal and thrive. My focus areas include depression, anxiety, trauma, marriage counseling, and borderline personality disorder, and I am committed to helping clients navigate their challenges effectively.
(323) 643-8569 View (323) 643-8569
Photo of Toun Altharwa, MA , LMHC, Counselor
Toun Altharwa
Counselor, MA , LMHC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98102  (Online Only)
I specialize in helping individuals dealing with complex trauma, grief, depression, borderline, bipolar, family issue and anxiety.
I am a non-binary trauma informed therapist and I come from a spiritual background believing in love and compassion for all living beings. I welcome people from all walks of life and have worked with populations from diverse backgrounds.
I specialize in helping individuals dealing with complex trauma, grief, depression, borderline, bipolar, family issue and anxiety.
I am a non-binary trauma informed therapist and I come from a spiritual background believing in love and compassion for all living beings. I welcome people from all walks of life and have worked with populations from diverse backgrounds.
(360) 322-1679 View (360) 322-1679
Photo of Caley Johnson, MSW, LICSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Caley Johnson
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LICSW
Verified Verified
Bellingham, WA 98225
Note: As of 7/24/24 I am not taking new clients but will update when there is availability! I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over seven years of experience working with mental health and substance use disorders. I specialize in LGBTQIA+ issues, transgender and gender diverse individuals, neurodivergence, and substance use. Additionally, I have experience working with depression, anxiety, OCD, trauma, borderline personality disorder, suicidal ideation, life changes, and relational issues.
Note: As of 7/24/24 I am not taking new clients but will update when there is availability! I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over seven years of experience working with mental health and substance use disorders. I specialize in LGBTQIA+ issues, transgender and gender diverse individuals, neurodivergence, and substance use. Additionally, I have experience working with depression, anxiety, OCD, trauma, borderline personality disorder, suicidal ideation, life changes, and relational issues.
(360) 972-3817 View (360) 972-3817
Photo of Allison Sande, LMHC, Counselor
Allison Sande
Counselor, LMHC
Verified Verified
Pasco, WA 99301  (Online Only)
Originally developed for treating borderline personality disorder, it is now widely used for various mental health issues.
Hello! My name is Allison Sande, I am a licensed mental health counselor. I am deeply committed to guiding individuals in uncovering their authentic selves and building lasting self-esteem. By integrating mindfulness, emotional regulation, and compassionate support, I help my clients navigate life’s challenges while empowering them to embrace their truth and live with greater confidence and fulfillment. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy designed to help individuals manage intense emotions, improve relationships, and build a life worth living.
Originally developed for treating borderline personality disorder, it is now widely used for various mental health issues.
Hello! My name is Allison Sande, I am a licensed mental health counselor. I am deeply committed to guiding individuals in uncovering their authentic selves and building lasting self-esteem. By integrating mindfulness, emotional regulation, and compassionate support, I help my clients navigate life’s challenges while empowering them to embrace their truth and live with greater confidence and fulfillment. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy designed to help individuals manage intense emotions, improve relationships, and build a life worth living.
(323) 643-8569 View (323) 643-8569
Photo of Laurie Ferrell, LMHC, MA, SUDP, Counselor
Laurie Ferrell
Counselor, LMHC, MA, SUDP
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Tacoma, WA 98402
Schizoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality.
My calling is to have my own practice where my clients and I have the opportunity to dig deep and explore their mental health and substance use with no time constrictions. So here I am ready to help to explore the core causes of traumas and walk through vulnerabilities alongside you, you are not alone. I will leave you with my favorite quote before you schedule your initial appointment. Let’s start our journey today.
Schizoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality.
My calling is to have my own practice where my clients and I have the opportunity to dig deep and explore their mental health and substance use with no time constrictions. So here I am ready to help to explore the core causes of traumas and walk through vulnerabilities alongside you, you are not alone. I will leave you with my favorite quote before you schedule your initial appointment. Let’s start our journey today.
(206) 752-6694 View (206) 752-6694
Photo of Nicholas R Lee, LMHC, Counselor
Nicholas R Lee
Counselor, LMHC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Spokane, WA 99205  (Online Only)
I have experience in addiction issues, Borderline Personality Disorder, & adjustment issues,.
My ideal client would be searching for a counselor who is genuine, empathetic, unconditionally holds them in positive regard, and can connect to their experiences. They would have a goal of learning new skills, working on behavioral and cognitive change, and are willing to look at multiple solutions to achieve their goals. They would want to strive for success as they see it and want support in removing any barriers for a better and healthier future.
I have experience in addiction issues, Borderline Personality Disorder, & adjustment issues,.
My ideal client would be searching for a counselor who is genuine, empathetic, unconditionally holds them in positive regard, and can connect to their experiences. They would have a goal of learning new skills, working on behavioral and cognitive change, and are willing to look at multiple solutions to achieve their goals. They would want to strive for success as they see it and want support in removing any barriers for a better and healthier future.
Photo of Bil Kareta, MAPC, LMHC, SD, Counselor
Bil Kareta
Counselor, MAPC, LMHC, SD
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98117
Therapy with Individuals: I use cognitive behavioral methods to treat depression, thought disorders, borderline personality disorders, substance abuse, trauma, and anxiety.
Life is a difficult and confusing journey for all of us. Occasionally we get "stuck" along the path. Sometimes that growth is blocked because of issues, patterns and behaviors from the past which affect the way we feel, do or react in the present. If you are experiencing issues such as depression, anxiety, stress and relationship concerns. I can offer you: a combination of heart, skill, and understanding to help you find your own solutions to these problems that face you. Through the use of solution-oriented, emotionally focused, and reality based techniques, can help you and your relationships overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
Therapy with Individuals: I use cognitive behavioral methods to treat depression, thought disorders, borderline personality disorders, substance abuse, trauma, and anxiety.
Life is a difficult and confusing journey for all of us. Occasionally we get "stuck" along the path. Sometimes that growth is blocked because of issues, patterns and behaviors from the past which affect the way we feel, do or react in the present. If you are experiencing issues such as depression, anxiety, stress and relationship concerns. I can offer you: a combination of heart, skill, and understanding to help you find your own solutions to these problems that face you. Through the use of solution-oriented, emotionally focused, and reality based techniques, can help you and your relationships overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
(206) 557-6792 View (206) 557-6792
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Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists

What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?

Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?

DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?

The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.