Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists in Seattle, WA

Photo of Anna S. White, MS Ed, LMHCA, Counselor
Anna S. White
Counselor, MS Ed, LMHCA
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98103  (Online Only)
I work with all kinds of people, but I especially welcome queer, trans, and Jewish people. I have availability, so please reach out. I also specialize in working with neurodivergent people, people with trauma, and people with BPD or related traits. I particularly enjoy working with people who are seeking to understand themselves more deeply or who are struggling with their identity or the roles in their life.
I work with all kinds of people, but I especially welcome queer, trans, and Jewish people. I have availability, so please reach out. I also specialize in working with neurodivergent people, people with trauma, and people with BPD or related traits. I particularly enjoy working with people who are seeking to understand themselves more deeply or who are struggling with their identity or the roles in their life.
(747) 477-2073 View (747) 477-2073
Photo of Nikki Gorman, MA, LMHC, LPC-MH, LPCC, Counselor
Nikki Gorman
Counselor, MA, LMHC, LPC-MH, LPCC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98101  (Online Only)
Empathetic therapist offering compassion and healing; helping to build resilience through skill building, trauma work, and self-discovery. I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for individuals to explore and process behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that can lead to isolation, anger, relationship strain, anxiety, panic, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations. With a strengths-based approach, empowering clients to reclaim a sense of control and restore self-confidence. Specializing in trauma, religious trauma, borderline personality, anxiety, depression, sexual health, postpartum, LGBTQIA+ support, EMDR, CBT, and DBT trained.
Empathetic therapist offering compassion and healing; helping to build resilience through skill building, trauma work, and self-discovery. I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for individuals to explore and process behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that can lead to isolation, anger, relationship strain, anxiety, panic, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations. With a strengths-based approach, empowering clients to reclaim a sense of control and restore self-confidence. Specializing in trauma, religious trauma, borderline personality, anxiety, depression, sexual health, postpartum, LGBTQIA+ support, EMDR, CBT, and DBT trained.
(360) 227-0789 View (360) 227-0789
Photo of Shawnna M Robinson, MA, LMHC
Shawnna M Robinson
Mental Health Counselor, MA, LMHC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98101
My areas of focus are preteens, teens, and adults. I specialize with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD, eating disorders, trauma, parenting concerns, family conflict, and self-esteem issues. I work with individuals 10 years old and up. Sessions are focused on your unique needs. Interventions are engaged that will help foster a healthy sense of self and promote healing. My session is a safe space with acceptance at the core. I am humbled to join with an individual and support them in their life story. In our sessions, your voice will be honored and used as a resource to obtain your goals.
My areas of focus are preteens, teens, and adults. I specialize with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD, eating disorders, trauma, parenting concerns, family conflict, and self-esteem issues. I work with individuals 10 years old and up. Sessions are focused on your unique needs. Interventions are engaged that will help foster a healthy sense of self and promote healing. My session is a safe space with acceptance at the core. I am humbled to join with an individual and support them in their life story. In our sessions, your voice will be honored and used as a resource to obtain your goals.
(425) 215-1322 View (425) 215-1322
Photo of Kris Bryant, MA, LMHC, LCPC, Counselor
Kris Bryant
Counselor, MA, LMHC, LCPC
Verified Verified
8 Endorsed
Seattle, WA 98101  (Online Only)
Waitlist for new clients
Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the gold standard treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and many other mental health concerns.
You live on an emotional roller coaster. You can't keep friends or a job. Hurting yourself feels better than hurting others. You question whether your life is worth living. Perhaps you diagnosed yourself on the internet or your doctor told you that you need something called "DBT." DBT is what I live and breathe.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy is the gold standard treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and many other mental health concerns.
You live on an emotional roller coaster. You can't keep friends or a job. Hurting yourself feels better than hurting others. You question whether your life is worth living. Perhaps you diagnosed yourself on the internet or your doctor told you that you need something called "DBT." DBT is what I live and breathe.
(405) 759-4178 View (405) 759-4178
Photo of Brent Potter, PhD, PhD , PsyD , Counselor
Brent Potter
Counselor, PhD, PhD , PsyD
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98119
I am a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst with 30 years of direct experience. I have worked with diverse populations and Washington State endorses me as a Child Mental Health Specialist and Ethnic Minority Mental Health Specialist (Native and African American populations). I hold licenses in multiple states in both mental health as well as chemical dependency. I am the author of multiple Amazon best-sellers including 'Elements of Self-Destruction', 'Borderline Personality Disorder' (co-authored with Jacquie Gunn), and 'Elements of Reparation'. Above all, I am a proud father of two and a husband.
I am a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst with 30 years of direct experience. I have worked with diverse populations and Washington State endorses me as a Child Mental Health Specialist and Ethnic Minority Mental Health Specialist (Native and African American populations). I hold licenses in multiple states in both mental health as well as chemical dependency. I am the author of multiple Amazon best-sellers including 'Elements of Self-Destruction', 'Borderline Personality Disorder' (co-authored with Jacquie Gunn), and 'Elements of Reparation'. Above all, I am a proud father of two and a husband.
(206) 558-6391 View (206) 558-6391
Photo of Bil Kareta, MAPC, LMHC, SD, Counselor
Bil Kareta
Counselor, MAPC, LMHC, SD
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98117
Therapy with Individuals: I use cognitive behavioral methods to treat depression, thought disorders, borderline personality disorders, substance abuse, trauma, and anxiety.
Life is a difficult and confusing journey for all of us. Occasionally we get "stuck" along the path. Sometimes that growth is blocked because of issues, patterns and behaviors from the past which affect the way we feel, do or react in the present. If you are experiencing issues such as depression, anxiety, stress and relationship concerns. I can offer you: a combination of heart, skill, and understanding to help you find your own solutions to these problems that face you. Through the use of solution-oriented, emotionally focused, and reality based techniques, can help you and your relationships overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
Therapy with Individuals: I use cognitive behavioral methods to treat depression, thought disorders, borderline personality disorders, substance abuse, trauma, and anxiety.
Life is a difficult and confusing journey for all of us. Occasionally we get "stuck" along the path. Sometimes that growth is blocked because of issues, patterns and behaviors from the past which affect the way we feel, do or react in the present. If you are experiencing issues such as depression, anxiety, stress and relationship concerns. I can offer you: a combination of heart, skill, and understanding to help you find your own solutions to these problems that face you. Through the use of solution-oriented, emotionally focused, and reality based techniques, can help you and your relationships overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.
(206) 557-6792 View (206) 557-6792
Photo of Joy Holt Hilliker - Joy Holt Hilliker Psychotherapy & Consultation, BA, MA, MACP, LMHC, Counselor
Joy Holt Hilliker Psychotherapy & Consultation
Counselor, BA, MA, MACP, LMHC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Seattle, WA 98146  (Online Only)
I specialize in working with adult children of Narcissists/those partnered w/a Narcissist as well as those impacted by BPD.
Seeking therapy can be a daunting process, while also being one step toward greater wholeness/healing. Relationship is where we are both wounded and healed. I work with individuals seeking relief from distressing symptoms such as; demanding too much of yourself, finding it hard to trust self, trust your own experience, self-soothing through addictive behaviors, pleasing others at your own expense, anxiety, depression, CPTSD. Our patterns of relating develop early within our first attachments, so our journey might include visiting some of those relationships to wonder how they impact you in the here and now.
I specialize in working with adult children of Narcissists/those partnered w/a Narcissist as well as those impacted by BPD.
Seeking therapy can be a daunting process, while also being one step toward greater wholeness/healing. Relationship is where we are both wounded and healed. I work with individuals seeking relief from distressing symptoms such as; demanding too much of yourself, finding it hard to trust self, trust your own experience, self-soothing through addictive behaviors, pleasing others at your own expense, anxiety, depression, CPTSD. Our patterns of relating develop early within our first attachments, so our journey might include visiting some of those relationships to wonder how they impact you in the here and now.
(206) 866-6213 View (206) 866-6213
Photo of Toun Altharwa, MA , LMHC, Counselor
Toun Altharwa
Counselor, MA , LMHC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98102  (Online Only)
I specialize in helping individuals dealing with complex trauma, grief, depression, borderline, bipolar, family issue and anxiety.
I am a Trauma informed therapist working from a client centered approach, empowering and motivating my clients in the therapeutic process. I have 8+ years of experience working with diverse populations and value understanding my clients’ backgrounds, ethnicities, and belief systems.
I specialize in helping individuals dealing with complex trauma, grief, depression, borderline, bipolar, family issue and anxiety.
I am a Trauma informed therapist working from a client centered approach, empowering and motivating my clients in the therapeutic process. I have 8+ years of experience working with diverse populations and value understanding my clients’ backgrounds, ethnicities, and belief systems.
(360) 322-1679 View (360) 322-1679
Photo of Angela Davis, PhD, Psychologist
Angela Davis
Psychologist, PhD
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98104
Not accepting new clients
I specialize in CBT, DBT ACT, and behavior therapy for mood disorders (depressive disorders), anxiety disorders (panic, social, PTSD, OCD, worry), issues related to self-esteem, emotion regulation, shame, anger, eating disorders and obesity, borderline personality disorder and relationship problems.
Welcome to my practice! My goal is to provide you with evidence based psychological treatments/techniques to help you reach your goals, reduce your symptoms and improve your quality of life. In addition to having received training in treating a wide-range of problems from world-renowned treatment centers, I enjoy infusing my work with compassion, humor, and kindness in an effort to provide you with the highest standard of care. Please feel free to email me with any questions.
I specialize in CBT, DBT ACT, and behavior therapy for mood disorders (depressive disorders), anxiety disorders (panic, social, PTSD, OCD, worry), issues related to self-esteem, emotion regulation, shame, anger, eating disorders and obesity, borderline personality disorder and relationship problems.
Welcome to my practice! My goal is to provide you with evidence based psychological treatments/techniques to help you reach your goals, reduce your symptoms and improve your quality of life. In addition to having received training in treating a wide-range of problems from world-renowned treatment centers, I enjoy infusing my work with compassion, humor, and kindness in an effort to provide you with the highest standard of care. Please feel free to email me with any questions.
(617) 505-4206 View (617) 505-4206
Photo of Nicholas R Lee, LMHC, Counselor
Nicholas R Lee
Counselor, LMHC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98198  (Online Only)
I have experience in addiction issues, Borderline Personality Disorder, & adjustment issues,.
My ideal client would be searching for a counselor who is genuine, empathetic, unconditionally holds them in positive regard, and can connect to their experiences. They would have a goal of learning new skills, working on behavioral and cognitive change, and are willing to look at multiple solutions to achieve their goals. They would want to strive for success as they see it and want support in removing any barriers for a better and healthier future.
I have experience in addiction issues, Borderline Personality Disorder, & adjustment issues,.
My ideal client would be searching for a counselor who is genuine, empathetic, unconditionally holds them in positive regard, and can connect to their experiences. They would have a goal of learning new skills, working on behavioral and cognitive change, and are willing to look at multiple solutions to achieve their goals. They would want to strive for success as they see it and want support in removing any barriers for a better and healthier future.
Photo of Audrey Comber, LSWAIC, PPSC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Audrey Comber
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LSWAIC, PPSC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98121  (Online Only)
If you have struggled with trauma related to childhood abuse, dysfunction, attachment issues; and/or interpersonal violence (domestic abuse, sexual abuse) I can help! I also specialize in helping clients diagnosed with BPD unpack and heal their underlying trauma. In working with me, you will learn how to HEAL your trauma without constant use of coping skills to dull the pain. First session is free.
If you have struggled with trauma related to childhood abuse, dysfunction, attachment issues; and/or interpersonal violence (domestic abuse, sexual abuse) I can help! I also specialize in helping clients diagnosed with BPD unpack and heal their underlying trauma. In working with me, you will learn how to HEAL your trauma without constant use of coping skills to dull the pain. First session is free.
(425) 470-5882 View (425) 470-5882
Photo of Pam Snyder, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Pam Snyder
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98105  (Online Only)
I am licensed in Washington State and I work with adult children, partners and siblings of individuals with Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorder traits. It can be difficult to find a therapist who truly understands the impact and wounds of being raised in a home or being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits or borderline traits. My work includes creating a healthy psychological separation, changing the negative internal messages, learning how to respond to others, creating healthy boundaries, stopping the legacy of distorted love and becoming your true and authentic self.
I am licensed in Washington State and I work with adult children, partners and siblings of individuals with Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorder traits. It can be difficult to find a therapist who truly understands the impact and wounds of being raised in a home or being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits or borderline traits. My work includes creating a healthy psychological separation, changing the negative internal messages, learning how to respond to others, creating healthy boundaries, stopping the legacy of distorted love and becoming your true and authentic self.
(720) 838-4531 View (720) 838-4531
Photo of Torie Wiksell, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Torie Wiksell
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
4 Endorsed
Seattle, WA 98102  (Online Only)
I look forward to chatting about how I can help! - I am currently enrolling for an 8-week online therapy group, Dealing with a Parent who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
I'm passionate about helping my clients break toxic patterns and set healthier boundaries. I specialize in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Additionally, I love to work with clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and OCD. My style is supportive, honest, and direct with a bit of humor sprinkled in. I love being a therapist, but I'm definitely not the perfect therapist for everyone. I'm straightforward, bubbly, and use profanity on occasion to emphasize a point.
I look forward to chatting about how I can help! - I am currently enrolling for an 8-week online therapy group, Dealing with a Parent who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
I'm passionate about helping my clients break toxic patterns and set healthier boundaries. I specialize in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Additionally, I love to work with clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and OCD. My style is supportive, honest, and direct with a bit of humor sprinkled in. I love being a therapist, but I'm definitely not the perfect therapist for everyone. I'm straightforward, bubbly, and use profanity on occasion to emphasize a point.
(360) 327-8525 View (360) 327-8525
Photo of Cory Wilson, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Cory Wilson
Marriage & Family Therapist, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98116
I with individuals, couples/polycules, and families, and have experience treating a wide spectrum of issues, such as depression, anxiety, substance use/abuse, sexual health concerns, and trauma. I specialize in providing evidence-based treatments- meaning the modalities I use have been shown by research to be effective. Some of those modalities include DBT, CBT, Emotion-Focused Therapy, and Gottman Couples Therapy. I offer "Gold-Standard" DBT, including individual therapy, DBT skills group, and between-session phone coaching.
I with individuals, couples/polycules, and families, and have experience treating a wide spectrum of issues, such as depression, anxiety, substance use/abuse, sexual health concerns, and trauma. I specialize in providing evidence-based treatments- meaning the modalities I use have been shown by research to be effective. Some of those modalities include DBT, CBT, Emotion-Focused Therapy, and Gottman Couples Therapy. I offer "Gold-Standard" DBT, including individual therapy, DBT skills group, and between-session phone coaching.
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Photo of Joseph David Williams, LSWAIC
Joseph David Williams
Social Worker Associate, LSWAIC
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98107  (Online Only)
I work with individuals aged 13 to 65 who are struggling with anxiety, depression, psychosis, personality disorders, chronic health conditions, grief and loss, and suicidality. I seek to help people who are dealing with these issues create a place of peace and safety within themselves so that they might learn to love life and endure loss.
I work with individuals aged 13 to 65 who are struggling with anxiety, depression, psychosis, personality disorders, chronic health conditions, grief and loss, and suicidality. I seek to help people who are dealing with these issues create a place of peace and safety within themselves so that they might learn to love life and endure loss.
(206) 496-0687 View (206) 496-0687
Photo of Albert R Mezistrano, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Albert R Mezistrano
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98101  (Online Only)
You’ve always had a sense that something crucial is missing, like a song stuck on a note that never resolves. Sometimes you feel disconnected from your authentic self, unable to put words to feelings, lost in a fog of uncertainty. At other times it feels like you’re too much for others and don’t know how to let it out without feeling like a burden. This existential dread has been a constant companion, but you’re sure there’s more to life and that some piece of the puzzle is missing. You long to remove this familiar barrier from impacting your ability to relax, to focus, to show up more as yourself in relationships.
You’ve always had a sense that something crucial is missing, like a song stuck on a note that never resolves. Sometimes you feel disconnected from your authentic self, unable to put words to feelings, lost in a fog of uncertainty. At other times it feels like you’re too much for others and don’t know how to let it out without feeling like a burden. This existential dread has been a constant companion, but you’re sure there’s more to life and that some piece of the puzzle is missing. You long to remove this familiar barrier from impacting your ability to relax, to focus, to show up more as yourself in relationships.
(206) 385-5945 View (206) 385-5945
Photo of Elizabeth Randall, MSW, LMHCA, Counselor
Elizabeth Randall
Counselor, MSW, LMHCA
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98126
Waitlist for new clients
I am continually inspired by the depth and breadth of the human experience. With a passion for learning about individuals, groups, and systems across varied backgrounds, I seek to support clients in being heard, understood, and empowered. My bachelor's degree in language studies and master's degree in social work allow me to carefully consider the socio-emotional experience of an individual, while accounting for the unique ways in which we express, perceive, and develop meaning. I offer tools and resources for practicing coping strategies outside of sessions, based on client interest. I am open to new and eclectic approaches.
I am continually inspired by the depth and breadth of the human experience. With a passion for learning about individuals, groups, and systems across varied backgrounds, I seek to support clients in being heard, understood, and empowered. My bachelor's degree in language studies and master's degree in social work allow me to carefully consider the socio-emotional experience of an individual, while accounting for the unique ways in which we express, perceive, and develop meaning. I offer tools and resources for practicing coping strategies outside of sessions, based on client interest. I am open to new and eclectic approaches.
(206) 590-6271 View (206) 590-6271
Photo of Cristina Mullen - Columbia City MIndfulness and DBT, LICSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Columbia City MIndfulness and DBT
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LICSW
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98118  (Online Only)
I welcome people who are facing any number of challenges including life transitions such as divorce, job loss, illness, death of a loved one; all shifting the ground beneath us in dramatic ways. What worked no longer works. My trMy training as a Mindfulness Meditation Teacher complements training and practice in psychotherapy addressing a dysregulated emotion system resulting in various symptoms such as anxiety, panic, depression, and identity disturbance and sometimes even a desire to die or hurt oneself. There can be a painful sense of isolation and feeling unmoored. There is a way out; first understanding, then tools to heal.
I welcome people who are facing any number of challenges including life transitions such as divorce, job loss, illness, death of a loved one; all shifting the ground beneath us in dramatic ways. What worked no longer works. My trMy training as a Mindfulness Meditation Teacher complements training and practice in psychotherapy addressing a dysregulated emotion system resulting in various symptoms such as anxiety, panic, depression, and identity disturbance and sometimes even a desire to die or hurt oneself. There can be a painful sense of isolation and feeling unmoored. There is a way out; first understanding, then tools to heal.
(206) 752-6263 View (206) 752-6263
Photo of Lisa Watson, LICSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Lisa Watson
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LICSW
Verified Verified
Seattle, WA 98101  (Online Only)
The good news- therapy is effective. The bad news- mental health symptoms often get in the way of attending therapy. This is why my services are offered through a secure online platform. I offer video and phone based therapy. Trouble leaving the house or getting out of bed? That’s ok, I’ll meet you right where you are. As someone who has felt what my clients feel, it is deeply meaningful for me to help you find your way. Insecure and untrusting? Deeply depressed? Find yourself self-sabotaging? Ive been there. Let’s make that a part of your past.
The good news- therapy is effective. The bad news- mental health symptoms often get in the way of attending therapy. This is why my services are offered through a secure online platform. I offer video and phone based therapy. Trouble leaving the house or getting out of bed? That’s ok, I’ll meet you right where you are. As someone who has felt what my clients feel, it is deeply meaningful for me to help you find your way. Insecure and untrusting? Deeply depressed? Find yourself self-sabotaging? Ive been there. Let’s make that a part of your past.
(305) 614-2528 View (305) 614-2528
Photo of Natalie Upton, LMHC, NCC
Natalie Upton
Mental Health Counselor, LMHC, NCC
Verified Verified
4 Endorsed
Seattle, WA 98115  (Online Only)
Hey there, welcome! I'm Natalie. I see individuals (15+) and couples. Coming to therapy and being vulnerable with someone new is a decision no one makes lightly. Sadly, when it comes to mental health and personal growth, it's not unusual to feel stuck for months or years without experiencing a noteworthy change. If willpower were enough to pull anyone out of a tough spot, then no one would need therapy, ever! If you are interested in making a real difference in your quality of life, you've come to the right place. To achieve this, I am informed by evidence based therapies that maximize your effort and investment.
Hey there, welcome! I'm Natalie. I see individuals (15+) and couples. Coming to therapy and being vulnerable with someone new is a decision no one makes lightly. Sadly, when it comes to mental health and personal growth, it's not unusual to feel stuck for months or years without experiencing a noteworthy change. If willpower were enough to pull anyone out of a tough spot, then no one would need therapy, ever! If you are interested in making a real difference in your quality of life, you've come to the right place. To achieve this, I am informed by evidence based therapies that maximize your effort and investment.
(206) 222-4421 View (206) 222-4421
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Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists

What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?

Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?

DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?

The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.