Therapists in Shaker Heights, OH
![Photo of De'Asia L. Thompson - Rise Counseling Group, MSW, LISW-S, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/c1db28da-b0b6-4726-a757-540be02f5bbc/2/320x400.jpeg)
Rise Counseling Group
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LISW-S, LCSW
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Shaker Heights, OH 44120
"My mission in life is not to merely survive, but to thrive and do so with some passion, compassion, some humor, and some style." -Maya Angelou As black women we are usually the last on our list- the order is usually kids, partners, parents, family, jobs, friends... then you. All of this and we're barely making it. Why continue to struggle and merely survive, when you can thrive. Depression doesn't always look like tears and pity parties. It can look like overwhelm, anger, unstable emotions, isolation, and anxiety too! Sound like anyone you know? Is it you girl?
"My mission in life is not to merely survive, but to thrive and do so with some passion, compassion, some humor, and some style." -Maya Angelou As black women we are usually the last on our list- the order is usually kids, partners, parents, family, jobs, friends... then you. All of this and we're barely making it. Why continue to struggle and merely survive, when you can thrive. Depression doesn't always look like tears and pity parties. It can look like overwhelm, anger, unstable emotions, isolation, and anxiety too! Sound like anyone you know? Is it you girl?
![Photo of Nicole Crandell - Crandell Consulting, MSW, LISW, LICDC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/66997394-a668-4e20-96f7-06cc694bb652/2/320x400.jpeg)
Crandell Consulting
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LISW, LICDC
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Shaker Heights, OH 44120 (Online Only)
Accepting New Clients-All Day Saturday and Sundays Available. Nikki Crandell has 16 years of experience in treating: Children; Adolescents and Adults; with different populations such as: juvenile delinquency, mental health, substance abuse. Nikki takes a motivational interviewing, CBT/DBT approach. Expect warmth, yet firm and supportive therapy. Welcome Home!
Accepting New Clients-All Day Saturday and Sundays Available. Nikki Crandell has 16 years of experience in treating: Children; Adolescents and Adults; with different populations such as: juvenile delinquency, mental health, substance abuse. Nikki takes a motivational interviewing, CBT/DBT approach. Expect warmth, yet firm and supportive therapy. Welcome Home!
![Photo of Consuelo Parker - Warm Embrace Counseling LLC, LPCC-S, LICDC](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/69f9cf64-fb6d-4b4a-9ab6-70d90c7712c9/1/320x400.jpeg)
Warm Embrace Counseling LLC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, LPCC-S, LICDC
Verified Verified
Shaker Heights, OH 44120 (Online Only)
Breathe, this is just a chapter, not your whole story. We all have things that we may struggle with from time to time, and it is important to find a professional that you can relate to when you need help. I enjoy helping people work through the difficulties of life, with a warm and non-judgmental attitude. My approach to therapy is laid-back and down to earth. Your sessions with me will very much be directed by you. What's hindering you? depression, stress, anxiety, anger, self esteem? Do these issues leave you feeling impaired? Just Know, how you deal with the valley can have a lasting effect well after the storm has passed.
Breathe, this is just a chapter, not your whole story. We all have things that we may struggle with from time to time, and it is important to find a professional that you can relate to when you need help. I enjoy helping people work through the difficulties of life, with a warm and non-judgmental attitude. My approach to therapy is laid-back and down to earth. Your sessions with me will very much be directed by you. What's hindering you? depression, stress, anxiety, anger, self esteem? Do these issues leave you feeling impaired? Just Know, how you deal with the valley can have a lasting effect well after the storm has passed.
More Therapists Nearby
![Photo of Carolina Ehlinger, PhD, Psychologist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/ae6a4c9a-837e-4fd6-b946-0e88fb6b64bd/1/320x400.jpeg)
As a clinical psychologist, I specialize in the treatment of PTSD, BPD, and other trauma-related disorders and work together with my patients to create meaningful changes in their lives.
Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can feel next to impossible. You might feel out of control in your own life. You react emotionally to situations and later regret your actions. Your world might have gotten smaller and smaller as you feel like you can’t connect with others, or feel less safe in your surroundings. You want to create a life with meaning that you enjoy living, but you don't know how.
As a clinical psychologist, I specialize in the treatment of PTSD, BPD, and other trauma-related disorders and work together with my patients to create meaningful changes in their lives.
Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD) or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can feel next to impossible. You might feel out of control in your own life. You react emotionally to situations and later regret your actions. Your world might have gotten smaller and smaller as you feel like you can’t connect with others, or feel less safe in your surroundings. You want to create a life with meaning that you enjoy living, but you don't know how.
![Photo of Robyn C Hill, MA, LPCC, Counselor](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/78a9c6d8-24e8-4af9-b434-967ab4bee9cd/2/320x400.jpeg)
I also work with people dealing with stress management, interpersonal conflicts due to Borderline Personality Disorder and adolescent disorders.
When is it time to seek counseling? Well, for each person it is different. This is because everyone has their own breaking point - a point where stress or trauma becomes so overwhelming that it becomes harder to engage in normal everyday activities. If your stress is interfering with your sleep, parenting, or work then it is probably a good time to get assistance to work through the issues. I offer a safe and confidential environment to address these issues and find practical solutions in order for you to gain emotional relief.
I also work with people dealing with stress management, interpersonal conflicts due to Borderline Personality Disorder and adolescent disorders.
When is it time to seek counseling? Well, for each person it is different. This is because everyone has their own breaking point - a point where stress or trauma becomes so overwhelming that it becomes harder to engage in normal everyday activities. If your stress is interfering with your sleep, parenting, or work then it is probably a good time to get assistance to work through the issues. I offer a safe and confidential environment to address these issues and find practical solutions in order for you to gain emotional relief.
![Photo of Arianna Music, LPCC, EMDR-T, CCTP](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/e776d5bf-c972-4710-a319-af86c710e4de/2/320x400.png)
Arianna Music
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, LPCC, EMDR-T, CCTP
Verified Verified
6 Endorsed
Beachwood, OH 44122 (Online Only)
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change (Carl Rogers). Arianna is an empathic helper who has worked with many different diagnoses. She passionately believes that empathic connection is most-valuable to healthy healing and growth. Specializing in the treatment of trauma, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, Arianna provides person-centered treatment, drawing from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapies. Arianna is focused on creating a space that is safe and free of judgment. This leads to learning, trying new things, and healing.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change (Carl Rogers). Arianna is an empathic helper who has worked with many different diagnoses. She passionately believes that empathic connection is most-valuable to healthy healing and growth. Specializing in the treatment of trauma, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, Arianna provides person-centered treatment, drawing from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, and Dialectical Behavioral Therapies. Arianna is focused on creating a space that is safe and free of judgment. This leads to learning, trying new things, and healing.
![Photo of Nichole M Cobb, LISW-S, OCPC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/9ad81048-65d4-43c6-b73a-4ab3a44dc8d1/1/320x400.jpeg)
Nichole M Cobb
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LISW-S, OCPC
Verified Verified
Solon, OH 44139 (Online Only)
You’ve finally made it to the right place! The place where you can find support, understanding and guidance. The place where you will be heard. Welcome! I am experienced in working with individuals young and old, providing help through issues that may seem too hard to face alone.
You’ve finally made it to the right place! The place where you can find support, understanding and guidance. The place where you will be heard. Welcome! I am experienced in working with individuals young and old, providing help through issues that may seem too hard to face alone.
![Photo of Jennifer R Brumfield, MA, LPCC-S, LICDC-S, ICADC, SAP, Counselor](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/3ff1f610-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/2/320x400.jpeg)
Jennifer R Brumfield
Counselor, MA, LPCC-S, LICDC-S, ICADC, SAP
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Cleveland, OH 44106 (Online Only)
I have been an active member of my community for most of my life. I began caring for others at age 15 by working as a nursing assistant in a local nursing home. I have volunteered as an Emergency Medical Technician and was a foster parent for nearly 100 children over a 13 year time span. I am passionate about helping people of all ages reach their personal or professional goals. I specialize in EMDR however; I utilize many types of therapy that is tailored to each individual client.Please make an appointment so we can discuss how I can help you and your family.
I have been an active member of my community for most of my life. I began caring for others at age 15 by working as a nursing assistant in a local nursing home. I have volunteered as an Emergency Medical Technician and was a foster parent for nearly 100 children over a 13 year time span. I am passionate about helping people of all ages reach their personal or professional goals. I specialize in EMDR however; I utilize many types of therapy that is tailored to each individual client.Please make an appointment so we can discuss how I can help you and your family.
![Photo of Jacqueline Nashelle Lockett - Phoenix Counseling and Wellness, LLC, MSSA, LISW, C-DBT, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/93f2085a-65f0-47f5-a69b-5fe819bf1b13/3/320x400.jpeg)
Phoenix Counseling and Wellness, LLC
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSSA, LISW, C-DBT
Verified Verified
Cleveland, OH 44110
Is your life spiraling out of control? Are you falling into the abyss of anxiety, depression, worry, fear, hopelessness? Are you feeling abandoned, lonely, or isolated? Well, you are not alone. Being isolated and disconnected can impact an individual in profound ways. Negativity, "wondering will things get better" - painful memories of the past, unresolved conflict ensues, hijacking your thoughts, motivation and the ability to move forward in this season of life. Discover a safe place where you'll experience healing in your mind, body & spirit - a genuine encounter with transparency, authenticity and compassion.
Is your life spiraling out of control? Are you falling into the abyss of anxiety, depression, worry, fear, hopelessness? Are you feeling abandoned, lonely, or isolated? Well, you are not alone. Being isolated and disconnected can impact an individual in profound ways. Negativity, "wondering will things get better" - painful memories of the past, unresolved conflict ensues, hijacking your thoughts, motivation and the ability to move forward in this season of life. Discover a safe place where you'll experience healing in your mind, body & spirit - a genuine encounter with transparency, authenticity and compassion.
![Photo of Justin Richard Parsley, MSW, LISW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/944e81fd-b3b3-43a7-bcb7-4c14aa901712/2/320x400.jpeg)
Justin Richard Parsley
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LISW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Gates Mills, OH 44040 (Online Only)
I am a licensed independent social worker (LISW) who is passionate about helping clients work through the issues they are struggling with and improve their mental health and overall well-being. I believe in providing a safe, judgment free environment of compassion, support, and unconditional positive regard to help my clients overcome obstacles in their lives so that they can move forward and thrive.
I am a licensed independent social worker (LISW) who is passionate about helping clients work through the issues they are struggling with and improve their mental health and overall well-being. I believe in providing a safe, judgment free environment of compassion, support, and unconditional positive regard to help my clients overcome obstacles in their lives so that they can move forward and thrive.
![Photo of Lauren Kustec, LPCC](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/1265acd3-2347-4255-b808-dc37c8a3fd52/1/320x400.jpeg)
Lauren Kustec is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor who earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from The University of Akron and her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Lauren has experience working with individuals, couples, and families from various backgrounds and of all ages. Lauren has provided treatment to individuals with anxiety, depression, mood disorders, adjustment disorders, PTSD, personality disorders, and other mental health issues that impact daily living.
Lauren Kustec is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor who earned her Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from The University of Akron and her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Lauren has experience working with individuals, couples, and families from various backgrounds and of all ages. Lauren has provided treatment to individuals with anxiety, depression, mood disorders, adjustment disorders, PTSD, personality disorders, and other mental health issues that impact daily living.
![Photo of Tyler Rogols, MBA, MA, LPCC-S](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/fb914c86-e17b-4595-8a44-39ae5a9e3621/3/320x400.jpeg)
Tyler Rogols
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, MBA, MA, LPCC-S
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Cleveland, OH 44109
Accepting new clients! I help people overcome difficulty and use it to grow and pursue a life of meaning and purpose. Sometimes we start by treating stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, career, or LGBTQ+ and other identity issues, and over time turn to deeper issues about the life you want to create, your identity, and your values. I’m a humanistic counselor, which means I’ll never tell you what to do and I’ll always empower you to make the choice that’s best for you. I use a collaborative, gentle approach that helps you connect with your intuitive sense of self and your intrinsic motivation to grow and do difficult things.
Accepting new clients! I help people overcome difficulty and use it to grow and pursue a life of meaning and purpose. Sometimes we start by treating stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, career, or LGBTQ+ and other identity issues, and over time turn to deeper issues about the life you want to create, your identity, and your values. I’m a humanistic counselor, which means I’ll never tell you what to do and I’ll always empower you to make the choice that’s best for you. I use a collaborative, gentle approach that helps you connect with your intuitive sense of self and your intrinsic motivation to grow and do difficult things.
![Photo of Delilah Grayer, MA, LPCCS-, Counselor](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/47ad35ad-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/2/320x400.jpeg)
Are you and your partner struggling with effective communication? Has infidelity put a strain in your relationship? Have you experienced bouts of depression that impact your life seasonally or all the time? Are you ready for change? What you focus on expands and eventually manifests in your life. We can work on behaviors surrounding the cycles of depression, relationships, anxiety and grief with the goal of building a less stressful life. Treatments and interventions include working through childhood wounds and other unresolved issues to help you feel less broken.
Are you and your partner struggling with effective communication? Has infidelity put a strain in your relationship? Have you experienced bouts of depression that impact your life seasonally or all the time? Are you ready for change? What you focus on expands and eventually manifests in your life. We can work on behaviors surrounding the cycles of depression, relationships, anxiety and grief with the goal of building a less stressful life. Treatments and interventions include working through childhood wounds and other unresolved issues to help you feel less broken.
![Photo of Julius Thompson, LISW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/3483a610-d3db-47ac-a043-eb058681507c/1/320x400.png)
Julius Thompson
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LISW
Verified Verified
Cleveland, OH 44108 (Online Only)
Are you overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, or grappling with grief and loss? Do you seek understanding and healing from past traumas or current life transitions? You're looking for a compassionate guide to help you discover your true purpose and lead a more fulfilling life.
Are you overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, or grappling with grief and loss? Do you seek understanding and healing from past traumas or current life transitions? You're looking for a compassionate guide to help you discover your true purpose and lead a more fulfilling life.
![Photo of Starletta S Collier, MSSW, LISW-S, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/3603c284-13d7-4192-9b13-94a6d3be1e65/3/320x400.jpeg)
Starletta S Collier
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSSW, LISW-S
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Cleveland, OH 44118 (Online Only)
I practice with adults of all ages, older adolescents and couples. I treat clients with problems related to depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, relationship/marriage conflicts, substance abuse issues and those individuals who struggle with emotional regulation. I have worked in a variety of settings including outpatient mental health counseling, residential treatment, felony court, and inpatient counseling. I believe the best treatment modality is important for success. I practice using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and a few others.
I practice with adults of all ages, older adolescents and couples. I treat clients with problems related to depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, relationship/marriage conflicts, substance abuse issues and those individuals who struggle with emotional regulation. I have worked in a variety of settings including outpatient mental health counseling, residential treatment, felony court, and inpatient counseling. I believe the best treatment modality is important for success. I practice using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and a few others.
![Photo of Susanne Sacco, LISW, MEd, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/2dfb7cc1-a971-4dc4-9582-34c5b79608a5/3/320x400.jpeg)
Susanne Sacco
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LISW, MEd
Verified Verified
Cleveland, OH 44113
Waitlist for new clients
I believe in an individualized approach for every client and working with you to determine the best methodology to get you where you want to be. I will help you tell your life story, and will work with you to find insight and meaning for the future. While on your journey, you will find that I can offer and link you with additional resources to empower you beyond the therapy room. Finally, if a relationship with me as a therapist is not working, I encourage my clients to be open and honest so that we can get them on the correct path to healing.
I believe in an individualized approach for every client and working with you to determine the best methodology to get you where you want to be. I will help you tell your life story, and will work with you to find insight and meaning for the future. While on your journey, you will find that I can offer and link you with additional resources to empower you beyond the therapy room. Finally, if a relationship with me as a therapist is not working, I encourage my clients to be open and honest so that we can get them on the correct path to healing.
![Photo of Athena McCaman - Kindred Harbor Behavioral Health LLC., MSW, LISW-S, LICDC, CCTP, EMDR, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/1a730c1b-78d2-48b0-a049-d10c5afb2225/2/320x400.jpeg)
Kindred Harbor Behavioral Health LLC.
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LISW-S, LICDC, CCTP, EMDR
Verified Verified
Cleveland, OH 44109
We accept new clients from anywhere in Ohio for telehealth sessions. Asking for help with mental wellness or addiction issues takes courage. Remember that seeking support during difficult times is actually a sign of strength. It's also a step toward improving your mental and emotional well-being. I can empathize with the vulnerability and courage it takes to begin this journey...when your ready to get started just reach out.
We accept new clients from anywhere in Ohio for telehealth sessions. Asking for help with mental wellness or addiction issues takes courage. Remember that seeking support during difficult times is actually a sign of strength. It's also a step toward improving your mental and emotional well-being. I can empathize with the vulnerability and courage it takes to begin this journey...when your ready to get started just reach out.
![Photo of Dr. Jeff J. Rocker, PhD, NCC, LPCC, LMHC, LPC](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/df1d58fa-ca77-4a97-a0f9-7d29949b5636/1/320x400.jpeg)
Dr. Jeff J. Rocker
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, PhD, NCC, LPCC, LMHC, LPC
Verified Verified
Cleveland, OH 44114
With 12 years of experience working with clients going through individual, relationship, and family issues, Celebrity Therapist Dr. Jeff Rocker has provided therapeutic services to clients nationwide. He is Licensed in 14 states and has served clients from all age groups. Over the years, Dr. Jeff has organized lectures and various events in the community, including excursions and retreats for couples to improve their communication and better understand each other. He has experience working with athletes in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. In addition, Dr. Jeff has also worked with clients in the Movie, Music, and Entertainment Industries.
With 12 years of experience working with clients going through individual, relationship, and family issues, Celebrity Therapist Dr. Jeff Rocker has provided therapeutic services to clients nationwide. He is Licensed in 14 states and has served clients from all age groups. Over the years, Dr. Jeff has organized lectures and various events in the community, including excursions and retreats for couples to improve their communication and better understand each other. He has experience working with athletes in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. In addition, Dr. Jeff has also worked with clients in the Movie, Music, and Entertainment Industries.
![Photo of Jonathan Richardson, LPCC, Counselor](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/3c1253ec-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/4/320x400.jpeg)
Individuals thrive toward their potential when their relationships are healthy and supportive. Being in healthy relationship is how we, as individuals and families, are sustained in the long term. Relationships that are healthy are consistent, have structure, are interdependent, and provide instruction that fosters individual and collective resiliency and progress.
When relationships are in crisis, individuals must be guided toward identifying the behaviors and attitudes that bring on conflict. When this awareness is achieved, change is possible. Here, attention to individual and relationship needs is equally important in the therapeutic process.
Individuals thrive toward their potential when their relationships are healthy and supportive. Being in healthy relationship is how we, as individuals and families, are sustained in the long term. Relationships that are healthy are consistent, have structure, are interdependent, and provide instruction that fosters individual and collective resiliency and progress.
When relationships are in crisis, individuals must be guided toward identifying the behaviors and attitudes that bring on conflict. When this awareness is achieved, change is possible. Here, attention to individual and relationship needs is equally important in the therapeutic process.
![Photo of Jacquelyn Casalina - Cleveland Therapy Group, LLC, Counselor](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/b4a1f8df-8aaa-4703-be2c-603558f57031/3/320x400.jpeg)
Currently accepting new clients via in-person and Telehealth! Cleveland Therapy Group provides EMDR therapy, marriage and family counseling, couples counseling and therapy for adults and children. Cleveland Therapy Group offers in-person sessions for clients in the greater Cleveland area including Westlake, Rocky River, Fairview Park, Lakewood, etc. We offer Telehealth session for all clients in the state of Ohio. Find a therapist near you!
Currently accepting new clients via in-person and Telehealth! Cleveland Therapy Group provides EMDR therapy, marriage and family counseling, couples counseling and therapy for adults and children. Cleveland Therapy Group offers in-person sessions for clients in the greater Cleveland area including Westlake, Rocky River, Fairview Park, Lakewood, etc. We offer Telehealth session for all clients in the state of Ohio. Find a therapist near you!
See more therapy options for Shaker Heights
Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists
What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.
What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?
Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.
What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?
DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.
What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?
The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.