Photo of Karen Greenberg, LCSW, Couples, Therapy, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Karen Greenberg
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, Couples, Therapy
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Having relationship problems? Feeling stuck or in a downward spiral? I work in a confidential setting where you find solutions and make changes to live a more satisfying and meaningful life. I work with individuals and couples experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma/recovery, grief, difficult relationships, and major life transitions. I also treat borderline, narcissistic personality and mood disorders. A combination of advanced training in various modalities and experience allows me to custom treatment to your needs and concerns. A strong connection to the therapist is the most important factor in a successful therapy.
Having relationship problems? Feeling stuck or in a downward spiral? I work in a confidential setting where you find solutions and make changes to live a more satisfying and meaningful life. I work with individuals and couples experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma/recovery, grief, difficult relationships, and major life transitions. I also treat borderline, narcissistic personality and mood disorders. A combination of advanced training in various modalities and experience allows me to custom treatment to your needs and concerns. A strong connection to the therapist is the most important factor in a successful therapy.
(732) 333-8025 View (732) 333-8025
Photo of Chris DeSilvestri - Platinum Counseling LLC, LMFT, LCADC, Marriage & Family Therapist
Platinum Counseling LLC
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT, LCADC
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Reaching out for help can be difficult. Often times, we tend to neglect the need for our own self-care as we tackle the challenges of daily life and take care of the ones we love. Platinum Counseling offers a comfortable and casual environment where you can feel safe and supported. We encourage you to discuss your vulnerabilities, without judgement, with professionals who want to hear about your experiences. We can provide you with therapeutic strategies and education to understand and tackle your challenges while increasing your motivation to fulfill your own personal goals. We encourage you to contact us.
Reaching out for help can be difficult. Often times, we tend to neglect the need for our own self-care as we tackle the challenges of daily life and take care of the ones we love. Platinum Counseling offers a comfortable and casual environment where you can feel safe and supported. We encourage you to discuss your vulnerabilities, without judgement, with professionals who want to hear about your experiences. We can provide you with therapeutic strategies and education to understand and tackle your challenges while increasing your motivation to fulfill your own personal goals. We encourage you to contact us.
(732) 355-8273 View (732) 355-8273
Photo of Dr. Dana Spada - LEAF by Dr. Dana Spada Psychotherapy, PhD, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
LEAF by Dr. Dana Spada Psychotherapy
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, PhD, LCSW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
LEAF by Dr. Dana Spada Psychotherapy is highly privatized boutique practice offering therapy to adults, teens and children with locations in Colts Neck, Little Silver, Sea Girt, Hazlet and Manalapan. We provide individual, family, marriage and couples therapy. Our approach to psychotherapy is personalized and holistic. All of our clinicians have extensive educational backgrounds and are board certified. If your looking for very high quality care, LEAF if your place. Experience a sense of Calm and Clarity.
LEAF by Dr. Dana Spada Psychotherapy is highly privatized boutique practice offering therapy to adults, teens and children with locations in Colts Neck, Little Silver, Sea Girt, Hazlet and Manalapan. We provide individual, family, marriage and couples therapy. Our approach to psychotherapy is personalized and holistic. All of our clinicians have extensive educational backgrounds and are board certified. If your looking for very high quality care, LEAF if your place. Experience a sense of Calm and Clarity.
(732) 605-4522 View (732) 605-4522
Photo of Susan St Germaine - Susan St.Germaine, LCSW, LCADC, LCSW, LCADC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Susan St.Germaine, LCSW, LCADC
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCADC
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
There is nothing more important than your mental and physical health. Talking IS the treatment AND the cure ! Humans have a fundamental need to be heard. There is enormous benefit to being heard in a non critical, accepting, and compassionate environment. No judgements. I can help you take a look at the patterns that hold you back and keep you stuck. I provide a straight forward approach to identifying problems and will give suggestions on how to cope. I have 20 years of experience helping people with anxiety, depression and relationship issues.
There is nothing more important than your mental and physical health. Talking IS the treatment AND the cure ! Humans have a fundamental need to be heard. There is enormous benefit to being heard in a non critical, accepting, and compassionate environment. No judgements. I can help you take a look at the patterns that hold you back and keep you stuck. I provide a straight forward approach to identifying problems and will give suggestions on how to cope. I have 20 years of experience helping people with anxiety, depression and relationship issues.
(732) 587-7932 View (732) 587-7932
Photo of Jill Portaro | Healing Through The Heart Center | Trauma Anxiety Stress, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Jill Portaro | Healing Through The Heart Center | Trauma Anxiety Stress
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
7 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Are change and uncertainty making you feel anxious? Do you feel that it's a struggle to work through challenges in your life? If you are tired of trying to make things better on your own, we are here to help you and your family learn healthy coping strategies to manage the emotions and behaviors that trouble you. In therapy, find the clarity and balance you need to connect deeply to your inner strengths to create lasting, positive changes in your life. We are focused on helping you meet your goals and make the changes to your life that you want to see.
Are change and uncertainty making you feel anxious? Do you feel that it's a struggle to work through challenges in your life? If you are tired of trying to make things better on your own, we are here to help you and your family learn healthy coping strategies to manage the emotions and behaviors that trouble you. In therapy, find the clarity and balance you need to connect deeply to your inner strengths to create lasting, positive changes in your life. We are focused on helping you meet your goals and make the changes to your life that you want to see.
(609) 778-4382 View (609) 778-4382
Photo of Dena Baldassarre, LCSW, LCADC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Dena Baldassarre
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCADC
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
There are many reasons that people decide to come to therapy, and whatever that turning point is for you, I am here to help you along your journey! With over 10 years of experience in the field and holding dual licensure as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and a Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LCADC), I am prepared to work with you to increase your happiness, fulfillment, and overall wellness. I believe in helping people live better lives by providing a positive, safe, nonjudgmental environment for people to share their personal stories.
There are many reasons that people decide to come to therapy, and whatever that turning point is for you, I am here to help you along your journey! With over 10 years of experience in the field and holding dual licensure as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and a Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LCADC), I am prepared to work with you to increase your happiness, fulfillment, and overall wellness. I believe in helping people live better lives by providing a positive, safe, nonjudgmental environment for people to share their personal stories.
(732) 313-3928 View (732) 313-3928
Photo of Larissa Borchard (Guided Path Counseling), LCSW, LCADC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Larissa Borchard (Guided Path Counseling)
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCADC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Something may be weighing heavy on your heart or your mind; or maybe you're just feeling stuck at the crossroads of life. Whatever it is, wherever you "are," I will meet you there. Let's take this journey together. With over 10 years of experience working in the mental health and addictions field, I've had the opportunity of guiding individuals, couples, and families on a path to optimal wellness. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor specializing in depression, anxiety, anger management, trauma, LGBQT, and the emotional, physical, and familial distress caused by addiction.
Something may be weighing heavy on your heart or your mind; or maybe you're just feeling stuck at the crossroads of life. Whatever it is, wherever you "are," I will meet you there. Let's take this journey together. With over 10 years of experience working in the mental health and addictions field, I've had the opportunity of guiding individuals, couples, and families on a path to optimal wellness. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor specializing in depression, anxiety, anger management, trauma, LGBQT, and the emotional, physical, and familial distress caused by addiction.
(732) 561-1846 View (732) 561-1846
Photo of Angela Nasca Toto - Angela Nasca Toto, Ph.D., LPC, PhD, LPC, LLC, Licensed Professional Counselor
Angela Nasca Toto, Ph.D., LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor, PhD, LPC, LLC
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
My name is Angela Nasca Toto and I have been a practicing psychologist for 20+ years. I have a thriving practice and recently expanded in order to help more people. Please follow the link below to be directed to my website and to learn more about my approach. Be sure to take a look at our team page to meet our group of skilled professionals. Also starting Fall 2018, we will be running some new groups so be sure to check out our group page as well!
My name is Angela Nasca Toto and I have been a practicing psychologist for 20+ years. I have a thriving practice and recently expanded in order to help more people. Please follow the link below to be directed to my website and to learn more about my approach. Be sure to take a look at our team page to meet our group of skilled professionals. Also starting Fall 2018, we will be running some new groups so be sure to check out our group page as well!
(732) 410-5493 View (732) 410-5493
Photo of Shari J Carpman, LPC, RPT, Licensed Professional Counselor
Shari J Carpman
Licensed Professional Counselor, LPC, RPT
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Are you frustrated by your child or teen's behaviors? Do you struggle with a child who acts out when he/she has a problem? Do you or your child have difficulty managing emotions such as anger, anxiety or sadness? I can help you understand the root of these problems, as well develop the tools to resolve them. I am a licensed professional counselor and a registered play therapist who utilizes evidenced based, creative, assessment and treatment approaches in working with adults, and children. My specialties include anxiety and mood disorders, acting out & self injurious behavior, parent/child relationships and adjustment to divorce and bereavement.
Are you frustrated by your child or teen's behaviors? Do you struggle with a child who acts out when he/she has a problem? Do you or your child have difficulty managing emotions such as anger, anxiety or sadness? I can help you understand the root of these problems, as well develop the tools to resolve them. I am a licensed professional counselor and a registered play therapist who utilizes evidenced based, creative, assessment and treatment approaches in working with adults, and children. My specialties include anxiety and mood disorders, acting out & self injurious behavior, parent/child relationships and adjustment to divorce and bereavement.
(732) 820-3293 View (732) 820-3293
Photo of Toni Nokes - Comprehensive Counseling Center, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Comprehensive Counseling Center
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
At Comprehensive Counseling Center, our team of experienced and compassionate psychotherapists is dedicated to helping individuals thrive in a supportive, confidential environment. We are committed to making a positive impact on the emotional well-being of our community. Whether you're an individual, couple, or family, we welcome you to embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and personal growth. Our highly skilled therapists provide personalized care, offering guidance and support tailored to your unique needs. With us, you'll receive a treatment plan designed to empower you and help you achieve your goals.
At Comprehensive Counseling Center, our team of experienced and compassionate psychotherapists is dedicated to helping individuals thrive in a supportive, confidential environment. We are committed to making a positive impact on the emotional well-being of our community. Whether you're an individual, couple, or family, we welcome you to embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and personal growth. Our highly skilled therapists provide personalized care, offering guidance and support tailored to your unique needs. With us, you'll receive a treatment plan designed to empower you and help you achieve your goals.
(732) 412-6393 View (732) 412-6393
Photo of James Fennessy, MA, MSW, JD, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
James Fennessy
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MA, MSW, JD, LCSW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
I have a background which includes many years of Post-Graduate education, knowledge and experience providing mental health care to those who need help dealing with a wide range of mental health issues or concerns. Whether you desire improved and better quality relationships, need help with feelings, with issues of daily life, or with reaching your goals, I can help you gain emotional health - the ability to love, work and play as you wish.
I have a background which includes many years of Post-Graduate education, knowledge and experience providing mental health care to those who need help dealing with a wide range of mental health issues or concerns. Whether you desire improved and better quality relationships, need help with feelings, with issues of daily life, or with reaching your goals, I can help you gain emotional health - the ability to love, work and play as you wish.
(732) 733-4938 View (732) 733-4938
Photo of Robin B Semel, MA, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor
Robin B Semel
Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LPC
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Is your child pushing your buttons? Panicking you about dangerous behaviors? Are your current relationships frustrating you? There are many reasons to call a therapist, relationships are not as satisfying or fulfilling as they once were, your children are acting out or struggling with transitional periods in there lives or maybe you or someone you know is suffering with anxiety or depression. Regardless of the reason for that first call I believe my work is relevant to you and your family. I have almost twenty years clinical experience working with difficult acting out adolescents, young adults, and their families.
Is your child pushing your buttons? Panicking you about dangerous behaviors? Are your current relationships frustrating you? There are many reasons to call a therapist, relationships are not as satisfying or fulfilling as they once were, your children are acting out or struggling with transitional periods in there lives or maybe you or someone you know is suffering with anxiety or depression. Regardless of the reason for that first call I believe my work is relevant to you and your family. I have almost twenty years clinical experience working with difficult acting out adolescents, young adults, and their families.
(732) 587-6619 View (732) 587-6619
Photo of J Victoria Laszlo - Laszlo Center 4 Hope Healing, LCSW, LCADC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
J Victoria Laszlo - Laszlo Center 4 Hope Healing
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCADC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Are you unhappy, hurt, anxious or angry? Is your life or relationship in a bad place? Everything you tried isn't working? I'm here to help! While on a life journey toward meaning & happiness, sometimes we need to sort through the issues that hold us back or are a heavy weight to carry. Therapy is a place to do that sorting: in a safe & trusting environment, we go through our traveler's bag, keep what's our strengths & passions, resolve the entangled conflicts, and maybe leave behind what no longer serves us within our hearts. I would love to be your guide in this journey.
Are you unhappy, hurt, anxious or angry? Is your life or relationship in a bad place? Everything you tried isn't working? I'm here to help! While on a life journey toward meaning & happiness, sometimes we need to sort through the issues that hold us back or are a heavy weight to carry. Therapy is a place to do that sorting: in a safe & trusting environment, we go through our traveler's bag, keep what's our strengths & passions, resolve the entangled conflicts, and maybe leave behind what no longer serves us within our hearts. I would love to be your guide in this journey.
(732) 903-2388 View (732) 903-2388
Photo of Matthew Berman, MA, LPC, ACS, Licensed Professional Counselor
Matthew Berman
Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LPC, ACS
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
When you think about a better future for yourself, what do you envision? Are you feeling less stressed? Are you more confident? Is your relationship thriving? Are you getting more time to do the things you love? Therapy is a journey to find a path towards those goals. Therapy is an individualized process. Sometimes, we aren’t always aware of the thoughts, beliefs, and situations that prevent us from feeling better or getting our needs met. Other times, we are aware of these things but unsure on how to limit how much they impact us and how we can manage them.
When you think about a better future for yourself, what do you envision? Are you feeling less stressed? Are you more confident? Is your relationship thriving? Are you getting more time to do the things you love? Therapy is a journey to find a path towards those goals. Therapy is an individualized process. Sometimes, we aren’t always aware of the thoughts, beliefs, and situations that prevent us from feeling better or getting our needs met. Other times, we are aware of these things but unsure on how to limit how much they impact us and how we can manage them.
(848) 276-7662 View (848) 276-7662
Photo of Marc Rubin, LPC, LMHC, Licensed Professional Counselor
Marc Rubin
Licensed Professional Counselor, LPC, LMHC
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
All are welcome. After 16 years of practice as a therapist, I have had the opportunity to worked in many different settings, and feel that I can provide a well rounded approach to treatment based on best practice research and ethical considerations.
All are welcome. After 16 years of practice as a therapist, I have had the opportunity to worked in many different settings, and feel that I can provide a well rounded approach to treatment based on best practice research and ethical considerations.
(732) 217-7336 View (732) 217-7336
Photo of Vanina Rimoli, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Vanina Rimoli
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
By nature, Vanina is a highly compassionate psychotherapist, whose deeply rooted love for helping others fosters an empathetic, nonjudgmental environment conducive to authentic self-exploration. In understanding that therapy can feel overwhelming and intimidating for some, Vanina uses a gestalt approach to ensure her clients feel unconditional acceptance in tapping into their most vulnerable self. Her reflective, listening and observational skills ensures her clients always feel heard, seen and supported throughout their healing journey. Vanina is a native Spanish speaking therapist.
By nature, Vanina is a highly compassionate psychotherapist, whose deeply rooted love for helping others fosters an empathetic, nonjudgmental environment conducive to authentic self-exploration. In understanding that therapy can feel overwhelming and intimidating for some, Vanina uses a gestalt approach to ensure her clients feel unconditional acceptance in tapping into their most vulnerable self. Her reflective, listening and observational skills ensures her clients always feel heard, seen and supported throughout their healing journey. Vanina is a native Spanish speaking therapist.
(848) 359-5187 View (848) 359-5187
Photo of Dolores DeGiacomo, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Dolores DeGiacomo
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Colts Neck, NJ 07722  (Online Only)
If you are looking to make a specific changes in your life, reduce anxiety, or improve relationships then therapy may be the answer. I believe that all of us have the right to live fully and authentically. Sometimes things get in the way; from a chaotic childhood to low self esteem, depression, loss of any kind, or any other adverse life event that blocks us from achieving true satisfaction and happiness in life. I strive to create a compassionate, supportive and non-judgmental environment for those that are struggling with challenging symptoms, have difficulties managing emotions or maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships.
If you are looking to make a specific changes in your life, reduce anxiety, or improve relationships then therapy may be the answer. I believe that all of us have the right to live fully and authentically. Sometimes things get in the way; from a chaotic childhood to low self esteem, depression, loss of any kind, or any other adverse life event that blocks us from achieving true satisfaction and happiness in life. I strive to create a compassionate, supportive and non-judgmental environment for those that are struggling with challenging symptoms, have difficulties managing emotions or maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships.
(609) 916-8761 View (609) 916-8761
Photo of Jarrah Kratzer, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Jarrah Kratzer
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
7 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
The decision to enter into therapy is a challenging one, which is why I strive to make your experience as comfortable and as empowering as possible. My goal is to develop a trusting and encouraging therapeutic relationship by drawing on your personal strengths and creating attainable and realistic goals. I specialize in the treatment of children, adolescents and adults working toward achieving emotional well-being and life balance. I have experience working with people facing a variety of challenges including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, grief & loss, infertility and pregnancy loss issues, postpartum mood disorders, substance abuse, and many others.
The decision to enter into therapy is a challenging one, which is why I strive to make your experience as comfortable and as empowering as possible. My goal is to develop a trusting and encouraging therapeutic relationship by drawing on your personal strengths and creating attainable and realistic goals. I specialize in the treatment of children, adolescents and adults working toward achieving emotional well-being and life balance. I have experience working with people facing a variety of challenges including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, grief & loss, infertility and pregnancy loss issues, postpartum mood disorders, substance abuse, and many others.
(732) 719-3841 View (732) 719-3841
Photo of Brianna DiMaio, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Brianna DiMaio
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Colts Neck, NJ 07722
Not accepting new clients
My passion and goal as a therapist stems from guiding those to become the best version of themselves through insight, clarity, empowerment and compassion. The skills I have acquired are through working with individuals, couples and families specializing in anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, relationship conflict, self-esteem, substance abuse, suicide/bereavement and other mental health diagnoses. Every individuals story is unique and therefore, we will work together to find what fits your needs towards happiness and personal fulfillment.
My passion and goal as a therapist stems from guiding those to become the best version of themselves through insight, clarity, empowerment and compassion. The skills I have acquired are through working with individuals, couples and families specializing in anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, relationship conflict, self-esteem, substance abuse, suicide/bereavement and other mental health diagnoses. Every individuals story is unique and therefore, we will work together to find what fits your needs towards happiness and personal fulfillment.
(732) 631-3216 View (732) 631-3216

More Therapists Nearby

Photo of Helen E Paulucci, LCSW, LCADC, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Helen E Paulucci
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCADC
Verified Verified
Manalapan, NJ 07726  (Online Only)
Specialties include but not limited to: Clinical Supervision, Young Adult Issues; Anxiety; Depression; Borderline Personality Disorder; Trauma; School/college anxiety; Social Anxiety.
Make your mental health a priority. I’m here to help you find a balance in your life and help to manage anxiety, stress, and depression. Along with solution focused therapy with DBT and CBT, depression and anxiety disorders can be more effectively managed. In working with all age populations for over 20 years, I’m confident that we can work together to create a peace and calmness in your wellness journey. Also available to provide clinical supervision for LSW and CADC. I would be happy to help in your professional development and provide mentoring.
Specialties include but not limited to: Clinical Supervision, Young Adult Issues; Anxiety; Depression; Borderline Personality Disorder; Trauma; School/college anxiety; Social Anxiety.
Make your mental health a priority. I’m here to help you find a balance in your life and help to manage anxiety, stress, and depression. Along with solution focused therapy with DBT and CBT, depression and anxiety disorders can be more effectively managed. In working with all age populations for over 20 years, I’m confident that we can work together to create a peace and calmness in your wellness journey. Also available to provide clinical supervision for LSW and CADC. I would be happy to help in your professional development and provide mentoring.
(732) 479-8328 View (732) 479-8328
Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists

What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?

Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?

DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?

The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.