Photo of Deborah A Leighton, LCSW, LCAS, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Deborah A Leighton
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, LCAS
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28277  (Online Only)
I began working in the fields of Addiction/Dual Diagnosis more than 35 years ago. Graduated from Syracuse University in Psychology; completed a master's program at ASU in Clinical Psychology. Graduated from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill (MSW). Extensively trained/experience with family systems, addiction, dual diagnosis, expressive arts, grief/bereavement therapy, clinical supervision & relapse prevention. I enjoy creative challenges and have an innovative approach with clients that emphasize individuality, personal growth and change. Accepting Medicare, Tricare, CBHA, BCBS (PPO), UHC, & Optum.
I began working in the fields of Addiction/Dual Diagnosis more than 35 years ago. Graduated from Syracuse University in Psychology; completed a master's program at ASU in Clinical Psychology. Graduated from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill (MSW). Extensively trained/experience with family systems, addiction, dual diagnosis, expressive arts, grief/bereavement therapy, clinical supervision & relapse prevention. I enjoy creative challenges and have an innovative approach with clients that emphasize individuality, personal growth and change. Accepting Medicare, Tricare, CBHA, BCBS (PPO), UHC, & Optum.
(704) 729-7214 View (704) 729-7214
Photo of Carolyn J Henderson, MA, LCMHC, QS, NCC, BCC, Licensed Professional Counselor
Carolyn J Henderson
Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LCMHC, QS, NCC, BCC
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28210
I am an interactive, cognitive behavioral client-centered therapist who focuses on the development of healthy relationships that have been impacted by trauma, grief and loss, infidelity, life transitions, depression, domestic and substance abuse. My empathetic and compassionate approach provides support and practical feedback while building on client's strengths using an empowerment model and the development of deeper self-discovery and awareness. The goal is to identify effective coping strategies to manage what clients are currently experiencing. I endeavor to walk alongside of clients in the midst of their pain and their joy.
I am an interactive, cognitive behavioral client-centered therapist who focuses on the development of healthy relationships that have been impacted by trauma, grief and loss, infidelity, life transitions, depression, domestic and substance abuse. My empathetic and compassionate approach provides support and practical feedback while building on client's strengths using an empowerment model and the development of deeper self-discovery and awareness. The goal is to identify effective coping strategies to manage what clients are currently experiencing. I endeavor to walk alongside of clients in the midst of their pain and their joy.
(704) 946-5674 View (704) 946-5674
Photo of Hunter Adams - Blossom Wellness Plaza Midwood, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Blossom Wellness Plaza Midwood
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28205
Welcome to Blossom Wellness, where we believe in the power of healing and growth for every individual. We understand that life's journey can sometimes present challenges that feel overwhelming, and that's why our team is here to provide support and guidance. At Blossom Wellness, we offer a range of mental therapy services designed to meet your unique needs and help you navigate the complexities of life with resilience and strength. Our approach is warm, compassionate, and tailored to create a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings.
Welcome to Blossom Wellness, where we believe in the power of healing and growth for every individual. We understand that life's journey can sometimes present challenges that feel overwhelming, and that's why our team is here to provide support and guidance. At Blossom Wellness, we offer a range of mental therapy services designed to meet your unique needs and help you navigate the complexities of life with resilience and strength. Our approach is warm, compassionate, and tailored to create a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings.
(704) 286-1796 View (704) 286-1796
Photo of Sherry Lyerly-Tarner, MS, LCMHC, RT, RYT, Licensed Professional Counselor
Sherry Lyerly-Tarner
Licensed Professional Counselor, MS, LCMHC, RT, RYT
Verified Verified
3 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28210
Therapy is a healing and transformative process, and it takes courage to seek help with the issues often brought to counseling. I believe healing involves looking at the whole person, and it is important to me to provide a safe environment for my clients where they can explore their challenges without judgment, and share with honesty and openness. I work with children, adolescents, teens & adults who want to become their best selves! Many are seeking greater self-awareness & guidance on their path, & many struggle with anxiety, depression, self-esteem, trauma, body image, relationships, family stress & life transitions.
Therapy is a healing and transformative process, and it takes courage to seek help with the issues often brought to counseling. I believe healing involves looking at the whole person, and it is important to me to provide a safe environment for my clients where they can explore their challenges without judgment, and share with honesty and openness. I work with children, adolescents, teens & adults who want to become their best selves! Many are seeking greater self-awareness & guidance on their path, & many struggle with anxiety, depression, self-esteem, trauma, body image, relationships, family stress & life transitions.
(980) 404-2348 View (980) 404-2348
Photo of Ashley Brown, MA, LCMHC, NCC
Ashley Brown
MA, LCMHC, NCC
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28205
I can provide a safe space where clients can explore thoughts, emotions, and behaviors freely. Regardless of cultural background or personal lifestyles, all are welcomed to explore themselves, their needs, their goals, and any concerns they may have, through a relaxed and nonjudgmental therapeutic experience. I aim to encourage, highlight, and empower those who seek clarity through difficult situations or when life appears most murky. Navigating through difficult thoughts or experiences alone may appear daunting at times. You are not alone and therapy can be that outlet to which you will be able to create your own path to healing.
I can provide a safe space where clients can explore thoughts, emotions, and behaviors freely. Regardless of cultural background or personal lifestyles, all are welcomed to explore themselves, their needs, their goals, and any concerns they may have, through a relaxed and nonjudgmental therapeutic experience. I aim to encourage, highlight, and empower those who seek clarity through difficult situations or when life appears most murky. Navigating through difficult thoughts or experiences alone may appear daunting at times. You are not alone and therapy can be that outlet to which you will be able to create your own path to healing.
(980) 414-8803 View (980) 414-8803
Photo of Erica C Sides, MSW, LCSW-A, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Erica C Sides
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LCSW-A
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28205
Feeling trapped in life, with a roaring in your ears and locked up in your thoughts, ignoring everything around you? Have you ever experienced moments where it feels like an overwhelming darkness is consuming you? Sometimes depression and anxiety can feel like they are devouring you, and all you can do to keep from screaming is to make yourself invisible and hope that nothing else comes your way as you struggle through your cocoon of darkness. However, as one of my favorite authors, Sarah J. Maas, says, "Only you can decide what breaks you."
Feeling trapped in life, with a roaring in your ears and locked up in your thoughts, ignoring everything around you? Have you ever experienced moments where it feels like an overwhelming darkness is consuming you? Sometimes depression and anxiety can feel like they are devouring you, and all you can do to keep from screaming is to make yourself invisible and hope that nothing else comes your way as you struggle through your cocoon of darkness. However, as one of my favorite authors, Sarah J. Maas, says, "Only you can decide what breaks you."
(980) 983-1156 View (980) 983-1156
Photo of Allie Kirvin, MS, EdS, LCMHC-A, Counselor
Allie Kirvin
Counselor, MS, EdS, LCMHC-A
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28211
Taking the step to reach out for help can be tough. I aim to provide a safe, inviting, and supportive space for my clients to heal and grow towards their goals. Therapy is meant to be a collaborative process between therapist and client. I work with individuals, couples and families with ages ranging from older adults to children. I have special interest in working with individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, sexual identity issues, family issues, and trauma. I enjoy working with children and adolescents that have ADHD, anxiety, trauma, and need for emotion education and emotion regulation skills.
Taking the step to reach out for help can be tough. I aim to provide a safe, inviting, and supportive space for my clients to heal and grow towards their goals. Therapy is meant to be a collaborative process between therapist and client. I work with individuals, couples and families with ages ranging from older adults to children. I have special interest in working with individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, sexual identity issues, family issues, and trauma. I enjoy working with children and adolescents that have ADHD, anxiety, trauma, and need for emotion education and emotion regulation skills.
(704) 529-9699 View (704) 529-9699
Photo of Amy Jane Williams - Amy Williams Wellness, MA, LCMHC, LPC, RYT-200, EAT, Licensed Professional Counselor
Amy Williams Wellness
Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LCMHC, LPC, RYT-200, EAT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28204  (Online Only)
Introverts, highly sensitive, empathic individuals - creatives, therapists, teachers, social activists and healers... If you want to heal family of origin or painful childhood memories OR you seek better communication/coping skills > Let's start! Sessions include supportive space, skillful questions, and a CBT approach - with mindfulness, creativity, and nature-based practices. Each session begins with a short breath practice (optional). I have committed to my own learning/healing and helping others for 25 years. Sessions also include solution-focused steps & homework. I would love to support you in creating a life you love!
Introverts, highly sensitive, empathic individuals - creatives, therapists, teachers, social activists and healers... If you want to heal family of origin or painful childhood memories OR you seek better communication/coping skills > Let's start! Sessions include supportive space, skillful questions, and a CBT approach - with mindfulness, creativity, and nature-based practices. Each session begins with a short breath practice (optional). I have committed to my own learning/healing and helping others for 25 years. Sessions also include solution-focused steps & homework. I would love to support you in creating a life you love!
(704) 350-2929 View (704) 350-2929
Photo of Ami Patel, MS, LCMHC
Ami Patel
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, MS, LCMHC
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28211
Ami Patel is a licensed professional counselor providing individual therapy to adults. She understands the courage it takes to reach out for help and her goal is to help you create a safe space where vulnerability and honesty are valued. Ami provides counseling for those who wish to create long lasting and positive changes in their lives and relationships. She treats mental health through the lens of the whole person: emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual. She believes in promoting healing through positive changes and recognition of one’s strengths.
Ami Patel is a licensed professional counselor providing individual therapy to adults. She understands the courage it takes to reach out for help and her goal is to help you create a safe space where vulnerability and honesty are valued. Ami provides counseling for those who wish to create long lasting and positive changes in their lives and relationships. She treats mental health through the lens of the whole person: emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual. She believes in promoting healing through positive changes and recognition of one’s strengths.
(704) 251-6550 View (704) 251-6550
Photo of Sara Elmakawy, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Sara Elmakawy
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28207  (Online Only)
My approach is person-centered, strengths-based and trauma informed. Creating an environment for you to feel connected, recognized and supported is integral to my role as a therapist. I support clients in gaining insight into their thoughts and behaviors, processing challenging experiences, and empowering them to heal. I offer a mind-body approach to healing focused on regulation through somatic practices and exploration and acceptance of the different parts of you. My approach draws from internal family systems (IFS), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), expressive arts and somatic therapy.
My approach is person-centered, strengths-based and trauma informed. Creating an environment for you to feel connected, recognized and supported is integral to my role as a therapist. I support clients in gaining insight into their thoughts and behaviors, processing challenging experiences, and empowering them to heal. I offer a mind-body approach to healing focused on regulation through somatic practices and exploration and acceptance of the different parts of you. My approach draws from internal family systems (IFS), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), expressive arts and somatic therapy.
(980) 485-5129 View (980) 485-5129
Photo of Bethany Kahoe, MA, LCMHC
Bethany Kahoe
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, MA, LCMHC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28278  (Online Only)
I am currently accepting new clients via telehealth in NC and also SC! I am passionate about helping individuals live more fulfilling, happier lives every day through their own decisions, on their own terms. I believe that each client is on a unique journey with their own specific needs, and I tailor my approach to be as helpful as possible to each individual person. I work mostly with adults dealing with depression and anxiety, and have done so for 7+ years. For the past 3 years I have also enjoyed working with individuals struggling with fertility, postpartum/perinatal depression/anxiety, miscarriage, and infant loss.
I am currently accepting new clients via telehealth in NC and also SC! I am passionate about helping individuals live more fulfilling, happier lives every day through their own decisions, on their own terms. I believe that each client is on a unique journey with their own specific needs, and I tailor my approach to be as helpful as possible to each individual person. I work mostly with adults dealing with depression and anxiety, and have done so for 7+ years. For the past 3 years I have also enjoyed working with individuals struggling with fertility, postpartum/perinatal depression/anxiety, miscarriage, and infant loss.
(803) 619-9306 View (803) 619-9306
Photo of Amber Peel, MS, LCMHC, Licensed Professional Counselor
Amber Peel
Licensed Professional Counselor, MS, LCMHC
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28262  (Online Only)
I can understand how intimidating therapy can seem. To be vulnerable with someone who does not share a personal relationship with you can seem challenging and for some, scary. If you are someone who feels like they are slightly ready to take that step in healing their past traumas, present challenges, or preparing for their future, I can be there to help you along the way. I currently work with teens, adults, and families where I focus on building a strong rapport with each client that I see. My goal as your therapist is to guide you on your journey of healing and to help bring light and comfort in those hard times.
I can understand how intimidating therapy can seem. To be vulnerable with someone who does not share a personal relationship with you can seem challenging and for some, scary. If you are someone who feels like they are slightly ready to take that step in healing their past traumas, present challenges, or preparing for their future, I can be there to help you along the way. I currently work with teens, adults, and families where I focus on building a strong rapport with each client that I see. My goal as your therapist is to guide you on your journey of healing and to help bring light and comfort in those hard times.
(980) 737-7661 View (980) 737-7661
Photo of Katherine Sherrill, MA, LCMHC, MT-BC, Counselor
Katherine Sherrill
Counselor, MA, LCMHC, MT-BC
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28270
Beginning counseling can be an overwhelming process. At Sanctuary Counseling Group, we believe in creating therapeutic relationships with our clients that promote the healing of heart, mind, and soul. I believe that we are whole persons, with unique physical, psychological, social, and spiritual needs, so I am committed to an eclectic approach to meet my clients where they are. Our sessions will always be focused on you and your needs. I strive to be genuine and open with my clients in offering support, encouragement, and reflection. Together, we will explore the issues that you bring to counseling in a holistic way.
Beginning counseling can be an overwhelming process. At Sanctuary Counseling Group, we believe in creating therapeutic relationships with our clients that promote the healing of heart, mind, and soul. I believe that we are whole persons, with unique physical, psychological, social, and spiritual needs, so I am committed to an eclectic approach to meet my clients where they are. Our sessions will always be focused on you and your needs. I strive to be genuine and open with my clients in offering support, encouragement, and reflection. Together, we will explore the issues that you bring to counseling in a holistic way.
(563) 677-6134 View (563) 677-6134
Photo of Janaye Simpson, MA, LCMHC, NCC, Counselor
Janaye Simpson
Counselor, MA, LCMHC, NCC
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28262
Are you ready to take back control over your mental health? I believe mental health is wealth, and one of the best ways we can help and better ourselves is by taking care of our mental wellness. I’ve previously worked in various clinical settings providing individual Outpatient Therapy, including a transitional living facility, public charter elementary school, and community college. I also have experience conducting counseling groups and workshops with adults of differing ages and intellectual abilities. Lastly, I’ve worked with families to foster positive change and improve interactions.
Are you ready to take back control over your mental health? I believe mental health is wealth, and one of the best ways we can help and better ourselves is by taking care of our mental wellness. I’ve previously worked in various clinical settings providing individual Outpatient Therapy, including a transitional living facility, public charter elementary school, and community college. I also have experience conducting counseling groups and workshops with adults of differing ages and intellectual abilities. Lastly, I’ve worked with families to foster positive change and improve interactions.
(704) 270-5752 View (704) 270-5752
Photo of Nydian Eileen Coker - Cherry Blossom Counseling, LCMHC, LCAS, NCC
Cherry Blossom Counseling
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, LCMHC, LCAS, NCC
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28269  (Online Only)
I am thrilled that you have found my page and have decided to start your journey toward peace and contentment. I have over 14 years of experience working with individuals and families who are stuck and confused about the journey ahead. My clients often come to me in distress, despair or feeling lost. They're looking for guidance and reassurance as they manage life stressors, family relationships, addiction, depression, anxiety as well as numerous other mental health crises that create challenges in life. I've realized that these clients are not lost, but instead just need a safe place to share their experiences.
I am thrilled that you have found my page and have decided to start your journey toward peace and contentment. I have over 14 years of experience working with individuals and families who are stuck and confused about the journey ahead. My clients often come to me in distress, despair or feeling lost. They're looking for guidance and reassurance as they manage life stressors, family relationships, addiction, depression, anxiety as well as numerous other mental health crises that create challenges in life. I've realized that these clients are not lost, but instead just need a safe place to share their experiences.
(704) 272-2426 View (704) 272-2426
Photo of Katie Burnett, MA, LCMHC, NCC
Katie Burnett
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, MA, LCMHC, NCC
Verified Verified
8 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28211
Waitlist for new clients
Do you find yourself exhausted trying to juggle all of the demands? Are you struggling in your relationships? Are you an overwhelmed parent with no time leftover to care for yourself? Whatever the circumstances that brought you to this page, I'm glad you are here. You deserve more joy and connection. Whether you are feeling anxious and burnt out or insecure and self-critical, I can help. My role is to support you in finding the unique set of strengths and resources within yourself that will bring you more peace. Through curiosity and compassion, deeper levels of self-exploration and growth are possible.
Do you find yourself exhausted trying to juggle all of the demands? Are you struggling in your relationships? Are you an overwhelmed parent with no time leftover to care for yourself? Whatever the circumstances that brought you to this page, I'm glad you are here. You deserve more joy and connection. Whether you are feeling anxious and burnt out or insecure and self-critical, I can help. My role is to support you in finding the unique set of strengths and resources within yourself that will bring you more peace. Through curiosity and compassion, deeper levels of self-exploration and growth are possible.
(704) 707-3513 View (704) 707-3513
Photo of Katie Rubin, MA, NCC, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor
Katie Rubin
Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, NCC, LPC
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28203
As an experienced therapist I lead with compassion and curiosity to help You, the client discover your innate wisdom and inner resources to understand, manage, and resolve internal or external conflict. This may affecting you relationship to self, your personal or work relationships, or causing you ; anxiety, depression, insecurities, addictive behaviors, or maladaptive patterns that get in the way of your fullest life...and true self. I hold a safe, supportive space and engage in the process of self discovery along with you and the parts of you that want to achieve greater internal freedom.
As an experienced therapist I lead with compassion and curiosity to help You, the client discover your innate wisdom and inner resources to understand, manage, and resolve internal or external conflict. This may affecting you relationship to self, your personal or work relationships, or causing you ; anxiety, depression, insecurities, addictive behaviors, or maladaptive patterns that get in the way of your fullest life...and true self. I hold a safe, supportive space and engage in the process of self discovery along with you and the parts of you that want to achieve greater internal freedom.
(980) 280-1352 View (980) 280-1352
Photo of Donna Murray, LPCC-S, Counselor
Donna Murray
Counselor, LPCC-S
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28210  (Online Only)
Hello! My name is Donna Murray and I look forward to connecting with you. I’ve had the joy of working in the counseling field for over 25 years in multiple settings including: private practice, inpatient and outpatient, home-based, school-based and residential detox. I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in the states of Ohio, West Virginia and North Carolina and have been offering counseling services since 1996. Currently, I also serve on the West Virginia Certification Board for Addiction & Prevention Professionals.
Hello! My name is Donna Murray and I look forward to connecting with you. I’ve had the joy of working in the counseling field for over 25 years in multiple settings including: private practice, inpatient and outpatient, home-based, school-based and residential detox. I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in the states of Ohio, West Virginia and North Carolina and have been offering counseling services since 1996. Currently, I also serve on the West Virginia Certification Board for Addiction & Prevention Professionals.
(704) 826-3245 View (704) 826-3245
Photo of Louisa R Oswald, LCMHCA, MT-BC, DBT-C, Counselor
Louisa R Oswald
Counselor, LCMHCA, MT-BC, DBT-C
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Charlotte, NC 28211  (Online Only)
I have over 5 years of working in the field of mental health doing individual and group therapy. I am a counselor and board-certified music therapist who is dedicated to helping children, adolescents & adults with anxiety, depression, trauma, mood disorders, neurodivergent people, OCD, eating disorders, and identity issues. My ideal population is looking for tools and skills to work on their goals in a collaborative environment. I consider my ability to build connection and strong therapeutic rapport with my clients my best strength. I foster helping my clients grow a stronger sense of themselves and build their self-esteem.
I have over 5 years of working in the field of mental health doing individual and group therapy. I am a counselor and board-certified music therapist who is dedicated to helping children, adolescents & adults with anxiety, depression, trauma, mood disorders, neurodivergent people, OCD, eating disorders, and identity issues. My ideal population is looking for tools and skills to work on their goals in a collaborative environment. I consider my ability to build connection and strong therapeutic rapport with my clients my best strength. I foster helping my clients grow a stronger sense of themselves and build their self-esteem.
(980) 458-4523 View (980) 458-4523
Photo of Zaire E King, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Zaire E King
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Charlotte, NC 28262
Waitlist for new clients
Greetings! I’ve studied a multitude of counseling approaches for individuals, marriage and family systems. With over 15 years as a mental health provider, I understand the importance of destigmatizing mental health, and embodying social justice practice by serving marginalized communities and families. Utilizing a collaborative, person centered treatment approach, I focus on developing healthy coping skills and providing psychoeducation on your personal difficulties. Additionally, I believe in creating a warm and attuned environment where you feel heard, accepted and valued.
Greetings! I’ve studied a multitude of counseling approaches for individuals, marriage and family systems. With over 15 years as a mental health provider, I understand the importance of destigmatizing mental health, and embodying social justice practice by serving marginalized communities and families. Utilizing a collaborative, person centered treatment approach, I focus on developing healthy coping skills and providing psychoeducation on your personal difficulties. Additionally, I believe in creating a warm and attuned environment where you feel heard, accepted and valued.
(704) 870-3690 View (704) 870-3690
1
Emotionally Focused Therapists

Who is emotionally focused therapy for?

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is for couples who are emotionally distressed, stuck in an unsatisfying relationship pattern or feeling deeply alienated. They may even believe the relationship is beyond repair. Very often, the partners display intense anger, fear, grief, loss of trust, or a sense of betrayal in the relationship. In addition, EFT is helpful to couples and individuals who have difficulty expressing emotions and those who have trouble regulating emotions.

Why do people need emotionally focused therapy?

People need emotionally focused therapy because the need for others is built into the brain, but the pressures of daily life can erode feelings of love, and couples often do not have the skills to find their way back to the comfort of each other. Instead, they may be stuck in repetitive patterns of anger, fear, grief, loss of trust, or a sense of betrayal. Emotionally focused therapy regards such strong negative feelings as expressions of protest over the loss of connection and turns them into pathways of reconnection.

What happens in emotionally focused therapy?

Over the course of eight to 20 weekly sessions, couples de-escalate their negative emotional reactivity to one another so that they can listen to each other and be responsive to each other’s needs. Then the deep emotional and physical bond is restored, giving partners a sense of comfort and security, which they can use to solve whatever problems come their way. The therapist plays an active role, helping partners understand how anger and withdrawal are actually misguided cries for connection.

What problems does emotionally focused therapy treat?

EFT is designed to help couples stuck in dysfunctional relationship patterns regain closeness and rebuild their relationship. Typically, such couples experience considerable distress, with partners feeling alienated and distrustful of one another, not certain their relationship can survive. EFT is also helpful to individuals experiencing attachment-related fears of loss; it helps them learn to use their fears as a way of eliciting the closeness they desire.