Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists in West Hills, CA

Photo of Saralyn Isrow, MSW, CPLC
Saralyn Isrow
MSW, CPLC
Verified Verified
West Hills, CA 91307
I work with highly motivated clients who are looking for support with their issues and challenges; clients that are ready for change as they navigate their way towards discovering their best version of themselves.
I work with highly motivated clients who are looking for support with their issues and challenges; clients that are ready for change as they navigate their way towards discovering their best version of themselves.
(747) 271-2054 View (747) 271-2054
Photo of Sheldon Cohen, LMFT, #132609, Marriage & Family Therapist
Sheldon Cohen
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT, #132609
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
West Hills, CA 91307
Hello, I'm Sheldon Cohen, and I appreciate your contemplation of a potential collaboration. It's possible that you've observed heightened personal hurdles and are grappling with pinpointing their source. Consequently, daily obligations might seem tougher to handle. Determining the right professional to connect with can be challenging. I'm devoted to your mental well-being and motivated to foster your empowerment and success.
Hello, I'm Sheldon Cohen, and I appreciate your contemplation of a potential collaboration. It's possible that you've observed heightened personal hurdles and are grappling with pinpointing their source. Consequently, daily obligations might seem tougher to handle. Determining the right professional to connect with can be challenging. I'm devoted to your mental well-being and motivated to foster your empowerment and success.
(818) 835-8576 View (818) 835-8576
Photo of Rod Louden, MA, MFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Rod Louden
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, MFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
West Hills, CA 91304
Please visit my YouTube Channel, Positively Psyched with Rod Louden. There you will find videos covering a wide range of psychological topics. For decades, I have had the honor of helping people on their journey to overcome difficult challenges. I am humbled by the trust that so many have gifted me. I have worked with hundreds of couples whose goal is to improve their relationships. I also work with individuals to change their relationships with anxiety, depression, and other negative forces. I work with musicians, actors, and artists to break through creative blocks allowing a deeper expression of their artistry.
Please visit my YouTube Channel, Positively Psyched with Rod Louden. There you will find videos covering a wide range of psychological topics. For decades, I have had the honor of helping people on their journey to overcome difficult challenges. I am humbled by the trust that so many have gifted me. I have worked with hundreds of couples whose goal is to improve their relationships. I also work with individuals to change their relationships with anxiety, depression, and other negative forces. I work with musicians, actors, and artists to break through creative blocks allowing a deeper expression of their artistry.
(213) 260-3306 View (213) 260-3306
Photo of Bennett I Goldberg, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Bennett I Goldberg
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
6 Endorsed
West Hills, CA 91307
Are you concerned about your child's wellbeing? I specialize in working with children and I am passionate about my work with adolescents and young adults. Growing up is difficult enough; dealing with the intense pressure of school, family, friends and intimate relationships is often overwhelming. It is equally difficult establishing one's self and who you will be the remainder of your life. Homework, test anxiety, divorce, bullying and or peer pressure frequently overwhelm children and teens while major transitions --college, relationships and career-- leave us feeling inadequate.
Are you concerned about your child's wellbeing? I specialize in working with children and I am passionate about my work with adolescents and young adults. Growing up is difficult enough; dealing with the intense pressure of school, family, friends and intimate relationships is often overwhelming. It is equally difficult establishing one's self and who you will be the remainder of your life. Homework, test anxiety, divorce, bullying and or peer pressure frequently overwhelm children and teens while major transitions --college, relationships and career-- leave us feeling inadequate.
(818) 793-8008 View (818) 793-8008

More Therapists Nearby

Photo of Michelle Conover - Southern California Neuropsychology Group, PhD, Psychologist
Southern California Neuropsychology Group
Psychologist, PhD
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
Neuro-Psychotherapy: This unique therapeutic modality combines psychotherapy with a brain and behavior perspective. The integrative format helps you better understand your brain patterns in relationship to your behavior and emotional output. This information will help you to permanently correct the negative feeling or behavior, allowing you to establish positive patterns instead. We offer individual, family and couples therapy to children, adolescents and adults with the following problems or difficulties: sadness/depression, mood swings, anxiety (panic attacks), social phobia, poor social skills, OCD, substance abuse (relapse prevention), video game/internet/pornography addiction, gambling, eating disorders, sleep difficulties, impulsivity, anger problems, relationship issues, trauma/abuse, PTSD.
Neuro-Psychotherapy: This unique therapeutic modality combines psychotherapy with a brain and behavior perspective. The integrative format helps you better understand your brain patterns in relationship to your behavior and emotional output. This information will help you to permanently correct the negative feeling or behavior, allowing you to establish positive patterns instead. We offer individual, family and couples therapy to children, adolescents and adults with the following problems or difficulties: sadness/depression, mood swings, anxiety (panic attacks), social phobia, poor social skills, OCD, substance abuse (relapse prevention), video game/internet/pornography addiction, gambling, eating disorders, sleep difficulties, impulsivity, anger problems, relationship issues, trauma/abuse, PTSD.
(747) 236-6291 View (747) 236-6291
Photo of Michael Azad Moradian, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Michael Azad Moradian
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367  (Online Only)
Hi there, I'm Michael! A licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 20+ years of experience. I specialize in various areas, including Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, ADHD, ASD, Grief, and high-conflict divorce. I also support individuals with Intellectual & developmental disabilities and their families. As an immigrant, I understand the unique challenges immigrants face and provide therapy in English, Kurdish, and Farsi, with knowledge of other languages and cultures. My collaborative approach focuses on personalized treatment plans and promotes personal growth through deep listening. Let's work together for a happier, healthier you.
Hi there, I'm Michael! A licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 20+ years of experience. I specialize in various areas, including Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, ADHD, ASD, Grief, and high-conflict divorce. I also support individuals with Intellectual & developmental disabilities and their families. As an immigrant, I understand the unique challenges immigrants face and provide therapy in English, Kurdish, and Farsi, with knowledge of other languages and cultures. My collaborative approach focuses on personalized treatment plans and promotes personal growth through deep listening. Let's work together for a happier, healthier you.
(747) 281-3475 View (747) 281-3475
Photo of La Cresheia Lee, Marriage & Family Therapist
La Cresheia Lee
Marriage & Family Therapist
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
La Cresheia Lee, MA MFT, LMFT I am a marriage and family therapist licensed in California, with over 12 years of experience (combined licensed and intern hours), and I hold BA degrees in Psychology and Africana Studies. I have worked with diverse clients experiencing a wide range of concerns, including depression, anxiety, relationship issues, cultural & racial identity, stress management, and grief and loss. I have also helped many clients who have experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, and those struggling with suicide ideation and co-occurring disorders.
La Cresheia Lee, MA MFT, LMFT I am a marriage and family therapist licensed in California, with over 12 years of experience (combined licensed and intern hours), and I hold BA degrees in Psychology and Africana Studies. I have worked with diverse clients experiencing a wide range of concerns, including depression, anxiety, relationship issues, cultural & racial identity, stress management, and grief and loss. I have also helped many clients who have experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, and those struggling with suicide ideation and co-occurring disorders.
(820) 204-0541 View (820) 204-0541
Photo of Edmon Artinyan - Lifespan: Center for Family Psychological Services, PsyD, Psychologist
Lifespan: Center for Family Psychological Services
Psychologist, PsyD
Verified Verified
9 Endorsed
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
Lifespan is a center specializing in mental health diagnosis and treatment across all ages. We specialize in providing psychological testing, neuropsychological evaluations, and neurodevelopmental assessments and provide diagnostic clarity, referrals, resources, and treatment plans. We help in identifying learning disabilities, developmental disabilities, issues with attention, and memory and learning complaints, to name a few. Psychological testing can help to clarify between different diagnoses (e.g., ADHD vs Anxiety), provide answers about general difficulties you or your child may be having, and be used for schools to help accommodate you or your child’s needs. We help you better understand your strengths and identify areas of support. Furthermore, we specialize in pre-surgical evaluations (e.g., bariatric, reconstructive, etc.) and work directly with surgeons to optimize outcomes.
Lifespan is a center specializing in mental health diagnosis and treatment across all ages. We specialize in providing psychological testing, neuropsychological evaluations, and neurodevelopmental assessments and provide diagnostic clarity, referrals, resources, and treatment plans. We help in identifying learning disabilities, developmental disabilities, issues with attention, and memory and learning complaints, to name a few. Psychological testing can help to clarify between different diagnoses (e.g., ADHD vs Anxiety), provide answers about general difficulties you or your child may be having, and be used for schools to help accommodate you or your child’s needs. We help you better understand your strengths and identify areas of support. Furthermore, we specialize in pre-surgical evaluations (e.g., bariatric, reconstructive, etc.) and work directly with surgeons to optimize outcomes.
(805) 852-5039 View (805) 852-5039
Photo of Christine Dougherty, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Christine Dougherty
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Canoga Park, CA 91304
My name is Christine Dougherty and I have been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over a decade. My focus areas include; working with adolescents, adults, and families. My theoretical approach often depends on the specific needs of the individual. Some common approaches I use include cognitive-behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, and family systems therapy. I encourage clients to start from where they are and break down large goals into smaller more attainable parts.
My name is Christine Dougherty and I have been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over a decade. My focus areas include; working with adolescents, adults, and families. My theoretical approach often depends on the specific needs of the individual. Some common approaches I use include cognitive-behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, and family systems therapy. I encourage clients to start from where they are and break down large goals into smaller more attainable parts.
(213) 786-3341 View (213) 786-3341
Photo of Shayne T. Kelley, LPCC
Shayne T. Kelley
LPCC
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
My ideal client is someone ready to confront their mental health challenges and grow from the experience. They may be dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or a variety of emotional and psychological challenges and are seeking effective strategies to manage these issues. They need a compassionate, non-judgmental space where they can explore their feelings and gain practical tools for change. Their goal is to achieve a greater sense of well-being, balance, and self-understanding. They want support to navigate their struggles and reach their full potential in a meaningful and lasting way.
My ideal client is someone ready to confront their mental health challenges and grow from the experience. They may be dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or a variety of emotional and psychological challenges and are seeking effective strategies to manage these issues. They need a compassionate, non-judgmental space where they can explore their feelings and gain practical tools for change. Their goal is to achieve a greater sense of well-being, balance, and self-understanding. They want support to navigate their struggles and reach their full potential in a meaningful and lasting way.
(805) 429-4652 View (805) 429-4652
Photo of Fahimeh Mani - Fahimeh Mani MA, LMFT Family Therapy, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Fahimeh Mani MA, LMFT Family Therapy
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91303
I have experience working with individuals of various cultural backgrounds, which has provided me with the experience in helping with a diverse area of mental health difficulties from Mood Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, Sleep Disorders, Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder, (veteran, infidelity, domestic violence, physical, emotional and sexual abuse), family and couple therapy . I help my clients decrease their depressive and anxious symptoms, identify their positive thoughts, decrease worries, feel relaxed, happy, sleep well, and develop good relationship with others.
I have experience working with individuals of various cultural backgrounds, which has provided me with the experience in helping with a diverse area of mental health difficulties from Mood Disorders, Anxiety Disorders, Sleep Disorders, Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder, (veteran, infidelity, domestic violence, physical, emotional and sexual abuse), family and couple therapy . I help my clients decrease their depressive and anxious symptoms, identify their positive thoughts, decrease worries, feel relaxed, happy, sleep well, and develop good relationship with others.
(747) 221-7028 View (747) 221-7028
Photo of Sweeta Khosrawi, LPCC, Counselor
Sweeta Khosrawi
Counselor, LPCC
Verified Verified
Canoga Park, CA 91306
Hi there, I am Sweeta! My name is Sweeta Khosrawi and I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)based in Lathrop, California and working with clients statewide via telehealth. I work with adolescents, teens, preteens, adults and older adults. I am certified in EMDR and also use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help my clients make progress and start feeling better. I have found that my style and approach is a good fit for teens, preteens, adolescents and young adults who may be dealing with the challenges of life transitions and social pressures.
Hi there, I am Sweeta! My name is Sweeta Khosrawi and I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)based in Lathrop, California and working with clients statewide via telehealth. I work with adolescents, teens, preteens, adults and older adults. I am certified in EMDR and also use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help my clients make progress and start feeling better. I have found that my style and approach is a good fit for teens, preteens, adolescents and young adults who may be dealing with the challenges of life transitions and social pressures.
(323) 433-6991 View (323) 433-6991
Photo of Susan Paul-Klein - Susan Paul-Klein LMFT, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Susan Paul-Klein LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
I believe that each person searches to find a therapist with whom they feel a connection. It is very important to me that I provide you with a positive emotional experience. One that is free from judgement, or underlying agendas. I strive to support my clients by being a dependable, focused and consistently positive force in their lives. A person grows through connection, consistency and genuine caring. I am not a clinician who believes that one has to feel pain in order to progress in therapy. Quite the contrary, it is through having a more healthy positive relationship, which causes meaningful change.
I believe that each person searches to find a therapist with whom they feel a connection. It is very important to me that I provide you with a positive emotional experience. One that is free from judgement, or underlying agendas. I strive to support my clients by being a dependable, focused and consistently positive force in their lives. A person grows through connection, consistency and genuine caring. I am not a clinician who believes that one has to feel pain in order to progress in therapy. Quite the contrary, it is through having a more healthy positive relationship, which causes meaningful change.
(818) 839-6850 View (818) 839-6850
Photo of Dana Lindon, MA, PhD, Psychologist
Dana Lindon
Psychologist, MA, PhD
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
You or a family member are not as happy as you wish. You feel alone, sad, anxious, depressed, frustrated - you may know why, but you are stuck and aren't sure how to change it. I can help you. We will work together to eradicate your negative feelings and create more adaptive ways to address your challenges. Through interactive, safe, regular meetings, we will access your deeper feelings, work through them and find more positive ways to deal with the challenges that come your way.
You or a family member are not as happy as you wish. You feel alone, sad, anxious, depressed, frustrated - you may know why, but you are stuck and aren't sure how to change it. I can help you. We will work together to eradicate your negative feelings and create more adaptive ways to address your challenges. Through interactive, safe, regular meetings, we will access your deeper feelings, work through them and find more positive ways to deal with the challenges that come your way.
(424) 570-2179 View (424) 570-2179
Photo of Sharon Burnett - West Valley Counseling Center, PhD, MFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
West Valley Counseling Center
Marriage & Family Therapist, PhD, MFT
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
West Valley Counseling Center (WVCC) offers a wide range of therapeutic interventions and services to bring affordable mental health services to the San Fernando Valley. WVCC is a non-profit community mental health center that has been serving the Greater Los Angeles region for well over a decade. Our qualified therapists work with individuals, relationships, traditional families, and non-traditional families to help ease life's burdens and to provide specialty services.
West Valley Counseling Center (WVCC) offers a wide range of therapeutic interventions and services to bring affordable mental health services to the San Fernando Valley. WVCC is a non-profit community mental health center that has been serving the Greater Los Angeles region for well over a decade. Our qualified therapists work with individuals, relationships, traditional families, and non-traditional families to help ease life's burdens and to provide specialty services.
(213) 260-0756 View (213) 260-0756
Photo of Gwen Staples, MA, LMFT, CCTP, Marriage & Family Therapist
Gwen Staples
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT, CCTP
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91365  (Online Only)
If you are feeling stuck due to a traumatic past that you are struggling to deal with and you need an empathetic, knowledgeable, experienced professional to help you navigate through the broken and dysregulated pieces then email me today. Trauma can show up in so many different ways from depression, anxiety, self-harming behaviors, dysfunctional relationships, and so much more. As a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional it is my goal to not only assist you in the process of healing but to help you establish coping skills to manage distress and maintain appropriate self-care so that you can obtain peace and emotional well being.
If you are feeling stuck due to a traumatic past that you are struggling to deal with and you need an empathetic, knowledgeable, experienced professional to help you navigate through the broken and dysregulated pieces then email me today. Trauma can show up in so many different ways from depression, anxiety, self-harming behaviors, dysfunctional relationships, and so much more. As a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional it is my goal to not only assist you in the process of healing but to help you establish coping skills to manage distress and maintain appropriate self-care so that you can obtain peace and emotional well being.
(424) 332-1658 View (424) 332-1658
Photo of Dr. Moreen Rubin - California Virtual Eating Disorder Experts VIOP, LMFT, PsyD
California Virtual Eating Disorder Experts VIOP
LMFT, PsyD
Verified Verified
Woodland Hills, CA 91365  (Online Only)
Are you feeling overwhelmed by your relationship with food, trapped in a cycle of anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating? Do anxiety, depression, or trauma amplify your struggle? It would help if you had accessible, personalized treatment that addresses both your mental and nutritional needs. If you want to heal your relationship with food and body image, build emotional strength, and recover on your terms, we can help. Our program offers the guidance of highly experienced ED and trauma therapists, the benefits of EMDR therapy, in-home ED coaching, flexible virtual care, and a compassionate, supportive community of recovered staff.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by your relationship with food, trapped in a cycle of anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating? Do anxiety, depression, or trauma amplify your struggle? It would help if you had accessible, personalized treatment that addresses both your mental and nutritional needs. If you want to heal your relationship with food and body image, build emotional strength, and recover on your terms, we can help. Our program offers the guidance of highly experienced ED and trauma therapists, the benefits of EMDR therapy, in-home ED coaching, flexible virtual care, and a compassionate, supportive community of recovered staff.
(747) 349-2215 View (747) 349-2215
Photo of Darlene Joy Manick, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Darlene Joy Manick
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Woodland Hills, CA 91364
I specialize in treating treating high achieving individuals & couples, with perfectionist tendencies. My priority is your emotional safety. Non judgmental support allows for your sharing openly and honestly. The need to "be right" can be unconscious, & you may be hurting those you love. My skilled intuition, and 25+ yrs. of clinical success, knows hope is available for the motivated and committed recovering anxious, obsessive, & over analyzing adult. Our trusting relationship inspires you to reflect upon your life/relationship goals; together we explore, & honestly challenge: "Do I want to be right?" Or, do I want to be loved?"
I specialize in treating treating high achieving individuals & couples, with perfectionist tendencies. My priority is your emotional safety. Non judgmental support allows for your sharing openly and honestly. The need to "be right" can be unconscious, & you may be hurting those you love. My skilled intuition, and 25+ yrs. of clinical success, knows hope is available for the motivated and committed recovering anxious, obsessive, & over analyzing adult. Our trusting relationship inspires you to reflect upon your life/relationship goals; together we explore, & honestly challenge: "Do I want to be right?" Or, do I want to be loved?"
(818) 639-4919 View (818) 639-4919
Photo of Chris Chamberlain, MA, AMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist Associate
Chris Chamberlain
Marriage & Family Therapist Associate, MA, AMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
I'm interested in working with people who are seeking to make a change in their lives, as well as those who wish to understand more about themselves and explore new habits for longevity and happiness. Wherever you're at and whatever you need to talk about, my goal is to create a safe, empathic and understanding environment to have those conversations. There may be a specific area of your life that you are concerned with; be it work, romance/friendship, parenting, creative endeavors, or all the above. Perhaps there is something in your life that you feel is holding you back, such as an addiction, or a toxic relationship.
I'm interested in working with people who are seeking to make a change in their lives, as well as those who wish to understand more about themselves and explore new habits for longevity and happiness. Wherever you're at and whatever you need to talk about, my goal is to create a safe, empathic and understanding environment to have those conversations. There may be a specific area of your life that you are concerned with; be it work, romance/friendship, parenting, creative endeavors, or all the above. Perhaps there is something in your life that you feel is holding you back, such as an addiction, or a toxic relationship.
(310) 494-6691 View (310) 494-6691
Photo of Heaven Longwell, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Heaven Longwell
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Woodland Hills, CA 91367
My approach is holistic, intuitive yet gently direct. I provide a safe, non- judgmental environment where my clients feel comfortable expressing themselves. My goal is to help my clients align with their authentic selves. I assist with bringing the cause of blockages that limit satisfying ways of living to surface. I am eclectic in my practices and utilize therapeutic techniques as they fit my clients needs. By incorporating holistic methods and mindfulness techniques in working with my clients I consider clients mental, spiritual and emotional health in the work we do together as I always work with my client as a “whole” being.
My approach is holistic, intuitive yet gently direct. I provide a safe, non- judgmental environment where my clients feel comfortable expressing themselves. My goal is to help my clients align with their authentic selves. I assist with bringing the cause of blockages that limit satisfying ways of living to surface. I am eclectic in my practices and utilize therapeutic techniques as they fit my clients needs. By incorporating holistic methods and mindfulness techniques in working with my clients I consider clients mental, spiritual and emotional health in the work we do together as I always work with my client as a “whole” being.
(818) 722-6649 View (818) 722-6649
Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists

What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?

Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?

DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?

The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.