Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists in Torrance, CA
![Photo of Kari A Barker, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/a20a7e7f-5e13-4b74-a77e-dffcd90b6893/2/320x400.jpeg)
Kari A Barker
Marriage & Family Therapist, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Torrance, CA 90505
Waitlist for new clients
I work with clients and families dealing with intense emotions, BPD, PTSD, depression, anxiety, and dissociation.
Having emotions be in the driver seat of one’s actions can lead to misery and suffering. I am passionate about helping clients gain control over their emotions and actions so that they can build their life that is worth living. I have over 19 years of experience working with adults, adolescences, couples and families. My approach is balancing validation and acceptance with a push to change so that one can achieve the life and relationships one wants. While providing a non-judgmental, collaborative environment, clients can reconnect to their values, set goals, and problem solve behaviors needed to achieve their life worth living
I work with clients and families dealing with intense emotions, BPD, PTSD, depression, anxiety, and dissociation.
Having emotions be in the driver seat of one’s actions can lead to misery and suffering. I am passionate about helping clients gain control over their emotions and actions so that they can build their life that is worth living. I have over 19 years of experience working with adults, adolescences, couples and families. My approach is balancing validation and acceptance with a push to change so that one can achieve the life and relationships one wants. While providing a non-judgmental, collaborative environment, clients can reconnect to their values, set goals, and problem solve behaviors needed to achieve their life worth living
![Photo of Kristen Parker, LCSW, PsyD, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/3fa2ea42-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/1/320x400.jpeg)
I specialize in the treatment of PTSD, Dissociative Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, Military Trauma, Eating Disorders and Sexual Addiction.
I am a Psychoanalyst and Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I have been in practice for over 30 years, treating children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. I provide a skilled, empathic, supportive, and yet challenging therapeutic environment in which I will not only act as a guide to deeper insight, but help to navigate the change that is necessary to help you reach your potential as well.
I specialize in the treatment of PTSD, Dissociative Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, Military Trauma, Eating Disorders and Sexual Addiction.
I am a Psychoanalyst and Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I have been in practice for over 30 years, treating children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. I provide a skilled, empathic, supportive, and yet challenging therapeutic environment in which I will not only act as a guide to deeper insight, but help to navigate the change that is necessary to help you reach your potential as well.
![Photo of Alexandra Armas, MA, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/45151afe-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/2/320x400.jpeg)
Alexandra Armas
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Torrance, CA 90505 (Online Only)
Experience includes: children and adolescents with challenges including personality disorders, psychotic disorders, ADHD, mood disorders, and trauma, borderline personality disorder, self-injury, women's issues and emerging adulthood issues.
It is my hope to walk alongside you on your journey toward self discovery. Whether you are seeking help exploring a current or past issue, soul searching, or just looking for someone to talk to, the therapy room is a safe place to grow. When experiencing pain in relationships or feeling alone, beginning this road toward healing can seem daunting. There is courage in reaching out for support to restore your heart, body, and mind. I am committed to accompanying you in building secure and fulfilling relationships, providing warm and empathic services for children, adolescents, adults, families, and couples.
Experience includes: children and adolescents with challenges including personality disorders, psychotic disorders, ADHD, mood disorders, and trauma, borderline personality disorder, self-injury, women's issues and emerging adulthood issues.
It is my hope to walk alongside you on your journey toward self discovery. Whether you are seeking help exploring a current or past issue, soul searching, or just looking for someone to talk to, the therapy room is a safe place to grow. When experiencing pain in relationships or feeling alone, beginning this road toward healing can seem daunting. There is courage in reaching out for support to restore your heart, body, and mind. I am committed to accompanying you in building secure and fulfilling relationships, providing warm and empathic services for children, adolescents, adults, families, and couples.
![Photo of Adrienne Ramirez, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/c1ca7ee3-a232-4026-8423-c21a66112fa4/2/320x400.jpeg)
However, I typically work with people on the PTSD spectrum (PTSD, CPTSD, Borderline personality (BPD), and Dissociative disorders).
Hello! I am Adrienne Ramirez, MS, LMFT. My clinical focus is trauma-informed dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Me and my work are a safe space for LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and any marginalized community. Everything I do is trauma-informed which means that I focus on behaviors, beliefs, and thoughts as a response to trauma, not "bad behavior" on your part. My approach is pretty eclectic as needed; however, I mainly use dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
However, I typically work with people on the PTSD spectrum (PTSD, CPTSD, Borderline personality (BPD), and Dissociative disorders).
Hello! I am Adrienne Ramirez, MS, LMFT. My clinical focus is trauma-informed dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Me and my work are a safe space for LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and any marginalized community. Everything I do is trauma-informed which means that I focus on behaviors, beliefs, and thoughts as a response to trauma, not "bad behavior" on your part. My approach is pretty eclectic as needed; however, I mainly use dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
![Photo of Tina Schab, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/e0fe69a7-9d28-4502-aa1d-0f6875050004/1/320x400.jpeg)
Hello, I am Tina Schab, Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 22 years of experience helping individuals struggling with mental health and addiction problems. I have valuable experience with DBT skills training to treat individuals struggling with borderline personality disorder. My approach to therapy is client centered and focused on client self-efficacy. I also tend to focus on client strengths, values, and self-compassion.
Hello, I am Tina Schab, Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 22 years of experience helping individuals struggling with mental health and addiction problems. I have valuable experience with DBT skills training to treat individuals struggling with borderline personality disorder. My approach to therapy is client centered and focused on client self-efficacy. I also tend to focus on client strengths, values, and self-compassion.
![Photo of Karin Brewster, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/daee83c8-af28-4466-984a-91146f0cabdf/2/320x400.png)
Hi, I am Karin Brewster, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker providing services across Los Angeles with over 7 years of experience. I have worked with adolescents and adults with a wide arrange of challenges including depression, anxiety, difficulty managing emotions, interpersonal issues, impulsive behaviors and rapid mood changes. I also have assisted many people in coping with trauma and grief/loss. I am trained in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), Seeking Safety and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), however, I aim to tailor every individuals treatment plan according to their specific needs.
Hi, I am Karin Brewster, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker providing services across Los Angeles with over 7 years of experience. I have worked with adolescents and adults with a wide arrange of challenges including depression, anxiety, difficulty managing emotions, interpersonal issues, impulsive behaviors and rapid mood changes. I also have assisted many people in coping with trauma and grief/loss. I am trained in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT), Seeking Safety and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), however, I aim to tailor every individuals treatment plan according to their specific needs.
CBT California is Southern California’s leading center for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), founded by award-winning clinicians and scholars dedicated to bringing you state of the art, scientifically sound treatments. We used evidence-based treatment to treat people with depression, anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, substance abuse, and other conditions. If you have problems with emotional regulation, self harm, or intense, unsatisfying relationships, CBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help. We are home to DBT California, the leading high-fidelity, comprehensive Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program in Southern California.
CBT California is Southern California’s leading center for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), founded by award-winning clinicians and scholars dedicated to bringing you state of the art, scientifically sound treatments. We used evidence-based treatment to treat people with depression, anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, substance abuse, and other conditions. If you have problems with emotional regulation, self harm, or intense, unsatisfying relationships, CBT or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help. We are home to DBT California, the leading high-fidelity, comprehensive Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program in Southern California.
![Photo of Shannon McHenry, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/48cda07f-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/2/320x400.jpeg)
Shannon McHenry
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Torrance, CA 90505 (Online Only)
I work with individuals, couples, and families to help gain insight into what is happening in order to move forward and achieve a more fulfilling and productive life. My goal is to help you understand yourself more and assist you with living a more free and conscious life. I use attachment theory to assist people in understanding how their past impacts their present. I specialize in treating addiction, trauma, codependency, relationship issues, and axis II disorders using a holistic trauma informed approach and dialectical behavioral techniques.
I work with individuals, couples, and families to help gain insight into what is happening in order to move forward and achieve a more fulfilling and productive life. My goal is to help you understand yourself more and assist you with living a more free and conscious life. I use attachment theory to assist people in understanding how their past impacts their present. I specialize in treating addiction, trauma, codependency, relationship issues, and axis II disorders using a holistic trauma informed approach and dialectical behavioral techniques.
![Photo of Dorit Saberi - Thrive Psychological Services, PhD, Psychologist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/9f71be3d-f507-4ae8-bae2-65274fa8ced9/2/320x400.jpeg)
Dorit Saberi - Thrive Psychological Services
Psychologist, PhD
Verified Verified
Torrance, CA 90502 (Online Only)
I have extensive experience working with various evidence-based modalities as well as alternative and somatic therapies. I currently work at Harbor UCLA as a Clinical Director of a Trauma service and as Associate Professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. I am Bilingual in Hebrew and English. Areas of specialization: Mood disorders; anxiety disorders; post traumatic stress disorder; life transition and adjustment issues; bereavement and loss; couple and relationship therapy; Family therapy; Parenting strategies; work related stress. I am also available for lectures, and trainings and certifications (Prolonged Exposure)
I have extensive experience working with various evidence-based modalities as well as alternative and somatic therapies. I currently work at Harbor UCLA as a Clinical Director of a Trauma service and as Associate Professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. I am Bilingual in Hebrew and English. Areas of specialization: Mood disorders; anxiety disorders; post traumatic stress disorder; life transition and adjustment issues; bereavement and loss; couple and relationship therapy; Family therapy; Parenting strategies; work related stress. I am also available for lectures, and trainings and certifications (Prolonged Exposure)
![Photo of Cody Gauthier, LCSW](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/c6c81c6a-ac32-46f0-9d63-fe15a4ccef09/1/320x400.jpeg)
As a proud Clinical Social Worker/Therapist (LCSW), my passion and specialization centers around trauma in relationships as a child and through adulthood. The heart of my work is in the power of here and now processing, shifts in awareness and discovering new possibilities, rather than staying stuck in old patterns that may be hard to identify. This includes my inherent belief that our work together will move towards a place where my clients will take charge of their experience, their reactions, and will grow the capacity to live life on life's terms with an authentic sense of self and a felt sense of pride.
As a proud Clinical Social Worker/Therapist (LCSW), my passion and specialization centers around trauma in relationships as a child and through adulthood. The heart of my work is in the power of here and now processing, shifts in awareness and discovering new possibilities, rather than staying stuck in old patterns that may be hard to identify. This includes my inherent belief that our work together will move towards a place where my clients will take charge of their experience, their reactions, and will grow the capacity to live life on life's terms with an authentic sense of self and a felt sense of pride.
![Photo of Dr. Risa Takeuchi, PsyD](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/03e204c1-2d3c-425a-bc7e-8cc9ec3d2a8e/1/320x400.jpeg)
Dr. Risa Takeuchi
Registered Psychological Associate, PsyD
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Torrance, CA 90501
Seeking psychotherapy can be intimidating as you are taking a courageous step. Depending on your needs, expectations, and values, my therapeutic approach is integrative. I look forward to supporting your process of healing, finding solutions, making positive changes, and creating a life you hope for. I work with individuals with a wide range of issues including stress management, depression, anxiety, trauma, family/relationship issues, addiction, identity development, acculturation, grief, and life transitions, among others. I also provide psychotherapy in Japanese.
Seeking psychotherapy can be intimidating as you are taking a courageous step. Depending on your needs, expectations, and values, my therapeutic approach is integrative. I look forward to supporting your process of healing, finding solutions, making positive changes, and creating a life you hope for. I work with individuals with a wide range of issues including stress management, depression, anxiety, trauma, family/relationship issues, addiction, identity development, acculturation, grief, and life transitions, among others. I also provide psychotherapy in Japanese.
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We all feel lost from time to time, but there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been through my own therapy as a young adult when I was stuck in a bout of anxiety and panic attacks due to childhood trauma. Throughout my years of working with traumatized individuals, I learned first-hand about how childhood trauma can have a strong impact on adulthood. I can help you address unresolved trauma, in order for you to find passion, connection, and purpose in your life.
We all feel lost from time to time, but there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been through my own therapy as a young adult when I was stuck in a bout of anxiety and panic attacks due to childhood trauma. Throughout my years of working with traumatized individuals, I learned first-hand about how childhood trauma can have a strong impact on adulthood. I can help you address unresolved trauma, in order for you to find passion, connection, and purpose in your life.
![Photo of Jen Vachet, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/d3c1cb67-4f61-4ca8-8cfc-fb4c775e0964/2/320x400.jpeg)
I believe in the importance of creating a trusting, safe and collaborative therapeutic relationship with my clients. I view each session as an opportunity to grow by working through personal challenges, developing greater self-awareness, learning to set healthy boundaries, and exploring the positive and negative styles of thinking. I believe that although treating symptoms is important, people must look at the deeper underlying issues that might include low self-esteem, codependency, or childhood trauma.
I believe in the importance of creating a trusting, safe and collaborative therapeutic relationship with my clients. I view each session as an opportunity to grow by working through personal challenges, developing greater self-awareness, learning to set healthy boundaries, and exploring the positive and negative styles of thinking. I believe that although treating symptoms is important, people must look at the deeper underlying issues that might include low self-esteem, codependency, or childhood trauma.
![Photo of Hong Jeong, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/72d0b3d0-71af-41d2-b3ec-29d20099ed14/3/320x400.jpeg)
We all go through emotional storms where we feel emotionally and physically stuck; we worry too much and lose control of ourselves. Do you find yourself thrown off balance by your childhood trauma? Childhood traumatic experiences such as abandonment, abuse, and neglect lead to social anxiety. My approach is solution-focused and tailored to your needs and goals. I am committed to providing a profound sense of safety and offering compassionate and actionable guidance to all my clients.
We all go through emotional storms where we feel emotionally and physically stuck; we worry too much and lose control of ourselves. Do you find yourself thrown off balance by your childhood trauma? Childhood traumatic experiences such as abandonment, abuse, and neglect lead to social anxiety. My approach is solution-focused and tailored to your needs and goals. I am committed to providing a profound sense of safety and offering compassionate and actionable guidance to all my clients.
![Photo of Julia Baird, PsyD, Psychologist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/403ade9f-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/2/320x400.jpeg)
Are you tired of being in distress? Are you repeatedly engaging in relationships that cause you pain and don't know how to change? Oftentimes we are unaware of the underlying causes of our suffering. Relief can be felt when underlying beliefs and conflicts are brought to the surface and worked through. If you're ready to begin the process of inner transformation that will finally bring you the relief and freedom you have been looking for, give me a call at 310.712.1656. You can check out my website at DrJuliaBaird.com Look forward to hearing from you!
Are you tired of being in distress? Are you repeatedly engaging in relationships that cause you pain and don't know how to change? Oftentimes we are unaware of the underlying causes of our suffering. Relief can be felt when underlying beliefs and conflicts are brought to the surface and worked through. If you're ready to begin the process of inner transformation that will finally bring you the relief and freedom you have been looking for, give me a call at 310.712.1656. You can check out my website at DrJuliaBaird.com Look forward to hearing from you!
![Photo of Jasmynn Abernathy, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/bfc30837-829e-495c-b21b-5a83db7e90de/3/320x400.jpeg)
Jasmynn Abernathy
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
5 Endorsed
Torrance, CA 90505
Navigating the challenges of parenthood can strain even the strongest relationships. Whether you’re welcoming your first baby or additional little ones to your family, chances are you may be looking to strengthen your bond, improve communication, and get out of what feels like the roommate stage. I’m here to help you and your spouse reconnect and create a loving and supportive partnership that thrives alongside your growing family.
Navigating the challenges of parenthood can strain even the strongest relationships. Whether you’re welcoming your first baby or additional little ones to your family, chances are you may be looking to strengthen your bond, improve communication, and get out of what feels like the roommate stage. I’m here to help you and your spouse reconnect and create a loving and supportive partnership that thrives alongside your growing family.
![Photo of T Joshua Tan, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/ce07e652-4a3c-4556-aa0d-bf1c2857daaf/3/320x400.jpeg)
Is anxiety, depression, or trauma holding you back from being your true self? Do you feel stuck in managing difficult life transitions? Now, every little thing becomes super overwhelming. Those negative experiences reopen old wounds and cause new ones. You tried burying your pain hoping it would go away. You feel lonely and tormented. You feel exhausted, stressed, and angry all the time. You wonder how much more you can take. You are unsure of who or where to turn for help. In the midst of this painful journey, you do not have to go through it alone.
Is anxiety, depression, or trauma holding you back from being your true self? Do you feel stuck in managing difficult life transitions? Now, every little thing becomes super overwhelming. Those negative experiences reopen old wounds and cause new ones. You tried burying your pain hoping it would go away. You feel lonely and tormented. You feel exhausted, stressed, and angry all the time. You wonder how much more you can take. You are unsure of who or where to turn for help. In the midst of this painful journey, you do not have to go through it alone.
![Photo of Hugo Pastore, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/839b27f9-695c-4a8a-b306-3205b800b362/3/320x400.jpeg)
Issues may be present for you that you not sure how to address, and you may be hesitant to seek help. I am a former professor of psychology for the University of Phoenix. As a therapist, a teacher and also as having had my own therapy for a number of years,
I have learned that taking the first step and admitting a problem is always the hardest step to take. Do not hesitate and do not let fear keep you from taking that crucial first step; call or write me or another therapist of your choosing and do obtain the help that you may need.
Issues may be present for you that you not sure how to address, and you may be hesitant to seek help. I am a former professor of psychology for the University of Phoenix. As a therapist, a teacher and also as having had my own therapy for a number of years,
I have learned that taking the first step and admitting a problem is always the hardest step to take. Do not hesitate and do not let fear keep you from taking that crucial first step; call or write me or another therapist of your choosing and do obtain the help that you may need.
![Photo of Bonnie Ray Kennan, PsyD, MFT, CGP, Marriage & Family Therapist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/3bb72be5-46cd-11ea-a6ad-06142c356176/4/320x400.jpeg)
Bonnie Ray Kennan
Marriage & Family Therapist, PsyD, MFT, CGP
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Torrance, CA 90505
Do you frequently experience deja vu in your relationships? Are you dating the "same" person you divorced five years ago? Do your relationships feel draining and chaotic? Interpersonal stress can cause anxiety, depression, and other painful conditions. "Relationship Rehab" is my unique system that will help you create satisfying and loving relationships. It is through relationship that you will heal the aches in your heart and replace tired old patterns with healthy behaviors. You will gain insight and self awareness on your therapeutic journey. You will integrate new skills for living, loving, and relating. I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.
Do you frequently experience deja vu in your relationships? Are you dating the "same" person you divorced five years ago? Do your relationships feel draining and chaotic? Interpersonal stress can cause anxiety, depression, and other painful conditions. "Relationship Rehab" is my unique system that will help you create satisfying and loving relationships. It is through relationship that you will heal the aches in your heart and replace tired old patterns with healthy behaviors. You will gain insight and self awareness on your therapeutic journey. You will integrate new skills for living, loving, and relating. I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist.
![Photo of Tani Dabirian, PsyD, Psychologist](https://photos.psychologytoday.com/5dadf977-c2eb-4d2e-a35e-572b057208da/3/320x400.jpeg)
I am a licensed Psychologist in California since Feb 2011. I graduated from UCLA with a Bachelors degree in Psychology. I got my Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2005 from CGI. I am bilingual and have over 15 years of experience in several clinical settings, including: college counseling center, private setting, community outpatient rehab center and in prison mental health facility. I believe psychotherapy is a collaborative process between client and therapist. In this therapeutic journey, the patient will gain insight into their current thought process/outlook, that has resulted in their daily pattern of behaviors/decisions.
I am a licensed Psychologist in California since Feb 2011. I graduated from UCLA with a Bachelors degree in Psychology. I got my Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2005 from CGI. I am bilingual and have over 15 years of experience in several clinical settings, including: college counseling center, private setting, community outpatient rehab center and in prison mental health facility. I believe psychotherapy is a collaborative process between client and therapist. In this therapeutic journey, the patient will gain insight into their current thought process/outlook, that has resulted in their daily pattern of behaviors/decisions.
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Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists
What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.
What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?
Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.
What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?
DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.
What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?
The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.