Emotionally Focused Therapists in Chico, CA

Photo of Jeanine Salakar, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Jeanine Salakar
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95926  (Online Only)
Please email only, easiest to reach me. I’m offering telehealth only at this time. I have been working with individuals and families for two decades. My current specialties include individuals and elders. My training is primarily attachment-based, relational, and emotionally focused therapy as well as jungian focus. And I am fascinated with how we are going to all age well in this culture, so I very much enjoy working with people adjusting to later life. I have also learned since a fairly young age that there is a ton of grief we all need to attend to, I appreciate offering support while people are dealing with pain.
Please email only, easiest to reach me. I’m offering telehealth only at this time. I have been working with individuals and families for two decades. My current specialties include individuals and elders. My training is primarily attachment-based, relational, and emotionally focused therapy as well as jungian focus. And I am fascinated with how we are going to all age well in this culture, so I very much enjoy working with people adjusting to later life. I have also learned since a fairly young age that there is a ton of grief we all need to attend to, I appreciate offering support while people are dealing with pain.
(530) 402-8116 View (530) 402-8116
Photo of Nancy Lynn Neidhardt, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Nancy Lynn Neidhardt
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
I am trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and have been fortunate to work with many couples.
Hello there! My name is Nancy L. Neidhardt and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Are Anxiety/Depression showing up more often than you feel able to handle? Sometimes life presents us with challenges that either seem insurmountable or are just better tackled with someone by our side. I would like to be that person. I absolutely love working with people of all ages, especially elders, families, and couples . My biggest strength as a counselor is that I am in awe with each and every life story I am told, and feel honored when clients trust me on their healing journey. I hope you will embark on yours with me!
I am trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and have been fortunate to work with many couples.
Hello there! My name is Nancy L. Neidhardt and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Are Anxiety/Depression showing up more often than you feel able to handle? Sometimes life presents us with challenges that either seem insurmountable or are just better tackled with someone by our side. I would like to be that person. I absolutely love working with people of all ages, especially elders, families, and couples . My biggest strength as a counselor is that I am in awe with each and every life story I am told, and feel honored when clients trust me on their healing journey. I hope you will embark on yours with me!
(530) 451-3662 View (530) 451-3662
Photo of Heather Elizabeth Keag, AMFT
Heather Elizabeth Keag
Associate Marriage & Family Therapist, AMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
Hi. My name is Heather Keag, and I am a Marriage and Family Therapist Associate, based in Chico, CA, offering individual therapy for youth and adults. I genuinely connect with & love developing a trusting therapeutic relationship with children, teenagers, and young adults. I proudly bring 20+ years of youth development work experience into my clinical practice. As a therapist, I have experience working with clients who are managing stressful life transitions, processing trauma, working through ongoing relationship issues, and seeking support for symptoms of anxiety & depression.
Hi. My name is Heather Keag, and I am a Marriage and Family Therapist Associate, based in Chico, CA, offering individual therapy for youth and adults. I genuinely connect with & love developing a trusting therapeutic relationship with children, teenagers, and young adults. I proudly bring 20+ years of youth development work experience into my clinical practice. As a therapist, I have experience working with clients who are managing stressful life transitions, processing trauma, working through ongoing relationship issues, and seeking support for symptoms of anxiety & depression.
(530) 683-3216 View (530) 683-3216
Photo of Maija Clarke, PsyD, Psychologist
Maija Clarke
Psychologist, PsyD
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95928
I have completed advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
Life can be difficult. Maybe you are looking for new ideas, support, or you are ready to make some changes in your life. I believe that all of us can change and positive things can happen. I provide a warm and supportive environment that focuses on your needs and goals in life. Together we can develop a treatment plan that will enable you to make the changes you want in life.
I have completed advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
Life can be difficult. Maybe you are looking for new ideas, support, or you are ready to make some changes in your life. I believe that all of us can change and positive things can happen. I provide a warm and supportive environment that focuses on your needs and goals in life. Together we can develop a treatment plan that will enable you to make the changes you want in life.
(530) 433-5615 View (530) 433-5615
Photo of Julie Liukkonen, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Julie Liukkonen
Marriage & Family Therapist, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95928
My training is in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy; somatic and relational psychotherapy; Emotionally Focused Therapy, neuroscience and mind-body wellness.
Are you exhausted and overwhelmed? Do you long for better connection with others? Are you filled with worry, regret or unresolvable grief? Do you struggle to be content and to care for yourself? I am a relational psychotherapist in my third decade of private practice. I have a deeply compassionate presence and you will come to feel seen, safe and understood in our work together. You will experience increasing empathy for yourself and your needs. You will shift unhealthy patterns with relationships, food, alcohol, substances and actions through lifestyle-based interventions and by making inner shifts leading to behavioral changes.
My training is in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy; somatic and relational psychotherapy; Emotionally Focused Therapy, neuroscience and mind-body wellness.
Are you exhausted and overwhelmed? Do you long for better connection with others? Are you filled with worry, regret or unresolvable grief? Do you struggle to be content and to care for yourself? I am a relational psychotherapist in my third decade of private practice. I have a deeply compassionate presence and you will come to feel seen, safe and understood in our work together. You will experience increasing empathy for yourself and your needs. You will shift unhealthy patterns with relationships, food, alcohol, substances and actions through lifestyle-based interventions and by making inner shifts leading to behavioral changes.
(530) 763-1153 View (530) 763-1153
Photo of Nicholas Malone, MA, MFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Nicholas Malone
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, MFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95928  (Online Only)
I am nationally certified as an Emotionally Focused Couples therapist and supervisor candidate.
While I have trained extensively in different therapy models, which has provided me with an in-depth psychological reference, many years of working with people has taught me relationship is central to the heart of therapy. Relationship with oneself, relationship with the therapist and my relationship with myself. The creation of an authentic relationship is a personal process that requires an open heart and an informed sensitive approach. I enjoy getting to know people. Learning about and developing relationship with my clients as well as participating in their growth brings richness to my life.I look forward to meeting you.
I am nationally certified as an Emotionally Focused Couples therapist and supervisor candidate.
While I have trained extensively in different therapy models, which has provided me with an in-depth psychological reference, many years of working with people has taught me relationship is central to the heart of therapy. Relationship with oneself, relationship with the therapist and my relationship with myself. The creation of an authentic relationship is a personal process that requires an open heart and an informed sensitive approach. I enjoy getting to know people. Learning about and developing relationship with my clients as well as participating in their growth brings richness to my life.I look forward to meeting you.
(530) 392-4263 View (530) 392-4263
Photo of Pattie Pardini-Barrett, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Pattie Pardini-Barrett
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
Waitlist for new clients
I also work with couples and have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, an attachment model.
Life can be very overwhelming at times and connections with others are important. Sometimes we have difficulty connecting and overreact and don't know why. Sometimes we have unmet needs but we’re not really sure what those are. Sometimes we are in a loving relationship but we shift from closeness to distance. Sometimes we have difficulty expressing how we really feel and tend to focus on others rather than ourselves. If any of this sounds familiar therapy in a safe setting may be helpful. We all want to feel good about ourselves and our lives. Sharing our issues,needs, and goals can help to move us forward
I also work with couples and have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, an attachment model.
Life can be very overwhelming at times and connections with others are important. Sometimes we have difficulty connecting and overreact and don't know why. Sometimes we have unmet needs but we’re not really sure what those are. Sometimes we are in a loving relationship but we shift from closeness to distance. Sometimes we have difficulty expressing how we really feel and tend to focus on others rather than ourselves. If any of this sounds familiar therapy in a safe setting may be helpful. We all want to feel good about ourselves and our lives. Sharing our issues,needs, and goals can help to move us forward
(530) 290-6795 View (530) 290-6795
Photo of Lisa Hancock, MS, MFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Lisa Hancock
Marriage & Family Therapist, MS, MFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95928
For couples desiring to mend a lack of connection, I use EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy).
Accepting New Clients. In my 21 years of supporting people with all sorts of issues, it’s certainly clear that we just don’t get through life unscathed. We can find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and we can even feel unsafe. You may be experiencing an impasse and struggle to connect in your relationships. Maybe you have taken on negative beliefs about yourself. Having had tough transitions or traumatic events, you may now want some assistance. I offer a warm and authentic relationship creating safety to assist as you find your way.
For couples desiring to mend a lack of connection, I use EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy).
Accepting New Clients. In my 21 years of supporting people with all sorts of issues, it’s certainly clear that we just don’t get through life unscathed. We can find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and we can even feel unsafe. You may be experiencing an impasse and struggle to connect in your relationships. Maybe you have taken on negative beliefs about yourself. Having had tough transitions or traumatic events, you may now want some assistance. I offer a warm and authentic relationship creating safety to assist as you find your way.
(530) 419-5232 View (530) 419-5232
Photo of Jessica Darling, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Jessica Darling
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95926
I'm also trained in EFT couples therapy and Hypnosis.
All the little things add up and sometimes it feels like you're drowning in petty things; creating stress, overwhelm, and panic. Other times it makes you want to shut down and shut everything out. You believe you should be able to handle all these little things because each thing isn't really that big; and yet, you feel weak and disappointed in yourself that these "little things" are tripping you up. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to live a life of "death by a thousand cuts." Your response is normal. It's a normal response to a crazy amount of tiny things, but it's not helping. You need new tools and strategies to heal.
I'm also trained in EFT couples therapy and Hypnosis.
All the little things add up and sometimes it feels like you're drowning in petty things; creating stress, overwhelm, and panic. Other times it makes you want to shut down and shut everything out. You believe you should be able to handle all these little things because each thing isn't really that big; and yet, you feel weak and disappointed in yourself that these "little things" are tripping you up. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to live a life of "death by a thousand cuts." Your response is normal. It's a normal response to a crazy amount of tiny things, but it's not helping. You need new tools and strategies to heal.
(530) 270-3291 View (530) 270-3291
Photo of Alejandra Mora Sanchez, LCP, Psychologist
Alejandra Mora Sanchez
Psychologist, LCP
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95928
My name is Dr. Alejandra Mora-Sanchez, I am a licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Los Angeles, California, working with individuals across the state through telehealth. I am a Hispanic female and provide therapy services fluently in both Spanish and English. I have experience working with individuals and couples dealing with depression, trauma, personal growth challenges, and relationship issues. I work with various treatment modalities including Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Emotionally Focused, in order to fit each client's needs.
My name is Dr. Alejandra Mora-Sanchez, I am a licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Los Angeles, California, working with individuals across the state through telehealth. I am a Hispanic female and provide therapy services fluently in both Spanish and English. I have experience working with individuals and couples dealing with depression, trauma, personal growth challenges, and relationship issues. I work with various treatment modalities including Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Emotionally Focused, in order to fit each client's needs.
(714) 503-8799 View (714) 503-8799
Photo of Cindy Paxton, PhD, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Cindy Paxton
Marriage & Family Therapist, PhD, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95928  (Online Only)
As human beings we can develop painful, dysfunctional habits that keep us from connecting fully to self and others. At those times an objective therapist using a variety of approaches can help reconnect with self and others in healthier, more collaborative ways. I know that strong, collaborative interpersonal relationships provide the healing force for our emotional wounds and other stressors. Target populations: couples, children and teens struggling with life situations, Gender Identity and transitions; firefighters and police officers experiencing acute and chronic stress related symptoms at work and home.
As human beings we can develop painful, dysfunctional habits that keep us from connecting fully to self and others. At those times an objective therapist using a variety of approaches can help reconnect with self and others in healthier, more collaborative ways. I know that strong, collaborative interpersonal relationships provide the healing force for our emotional wounds and other stressors. Target populations: couples, children and teens struggling with life situations, Gender Identity and transitions; firefighters and police officers experiencing acute and chronic stress related symptoms at work and home.
(909) 963-1473 View (909) 963-1473
Photo of Joanne Nitchman, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Joanne Nitchman
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
Hi, my name is Joanne Nitchman, LMFT. I am genuine, empathic and authentic. I can incorporate my life experiences in a way that helps people navigate anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, trauma, grief and loss. I use a Cognitive Behavior Therapy approach along with being person centered. I also can provide EMDR and Brainspotting. There’s always hope and I will partner with you to help you discover your way forward.I enjoy working with adults, elders and couples.
Hi, my name is Joanne Nitchman, LMFT. I am genuine, empathic and authentic. I can incorporate my life experiences in a way that helps people navigate anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, trauma, grief and loss. I use a Cognitive Behavior Therapy approach along with being person centered. I also can provide EMDR and Brainspotting. There’s always hope and I will partner with you to help you discover your way forward.I enjoy working with adults, elders and couples.
(530) 627-2474 View (530) 627-2474
Photo of Allyson Elizabeth Wilhite, BSN, MFT, BCPCC, IATP, Marriage & Family Therapist
Allyson Elizabeth Wilhite
Marriage & Family Therapist, BSN, MFT, BCPCC, IATP
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
I have an incredible passion for people and always have had. In my experience as a nurse and as a therapist, I have enjoyed teaching, encouraging, and creating possibilities for hope and healing. My belief is that when we feel safe enough we become more genuine and more capable of loving and living incredible lives. We laugh more, play more, rest better and have more compassion for others. My hope is that you learn to be your best self, genuine, true to yourself and to learn the art of self-care, establishing healthy boundaries and a support system regardless of a painful childhood and difficult life circumstances.
I have an incredible passion for people and always have had. In my experience as a nurse and as a therapist, I have enjoyed teaching, encouraging, and creating possibilities for hope and healing. My belief is that when we feel safe enough we become more genuine and more capable of loving and living incredible lives. We laugh more, play more, rest better and have more compassion for others. My hope is that you learn to be your best self, genuine, true to yourself and to learn the art of self-care, establishing healthy boundaries and a support system regardless of a painful childhood and difficult life circumstances.
(530) 419-4918 View (530) 419-4918
Photo of Abbey Hornung, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Abbey Hornung
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95926
My counseling style is eclectic and client focused with a systems perspective. I have experience working with children, adolescents, individuals, families and couples. I believe that people act or behave with the intent of feeling good, but often develop coping behavior along the path of life that no longer serves them. I assist clients in identifying and connecting with the positive intent behind "dysfunctional behavior", and discovering new methods of coping that lead to a more balanced and joyful journey through life.
My counseling style is eclectic and client focused with a systems perspective. I have experience working with children, adolescents, individuals, families and couples. I believe that people act or behave with the intent of feeling good, but often develop coping behavior along the path of life that no longer serves them. I assist clients in identifying and connecting with the positive intent behind "dysfunctional behavior", and discovering new methods of coping that lead to a more balanced and joyful journey through life.
(530) 588-5501 View (530) 588-5501
Photo of Trinity L Bockus, MA, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Trinity L Bockus
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
Hello! I am a dedicated therapist who values the uniqueness of each client I work with. I consider it a great privilege to help my clients work through the challenges in their lives and support them in their growth....and it's never too late for growth! There are no issues too large or too small to bring into the safe environment of my office. I have a real knack for understanding different personalities and breaking down communication and other issues that are keeping relationships in a negative cycle.
Hello! I am a dedicated therapist who values the uniqueness of each client I work with. I consider it a great privilege to help my clients work through the challenges in their lives and support them in their growth....and it's never too late for growth! There are no issues too large or too small to bring into the safe environment of my office. I have a real knack for understanding different personalities and breaking down communication and other issues that are keeping relationships in a negative cycle.
(916) 468-4836 View (916) 468-4836
Photo of Kimberly Micaela Price, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Kimberly Micaela Price
Marriage & Family Therapist, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95926
For many of us, our pains and heartaches can be felt in every aspect of our lives, physically, emotionally, mentally, behaviorally, and relationally. My experience includes assisting children, adolescents, adults, and families who are dealing with problems related to depression, anxiety, relationship issues, family conflict, trauma, and major life transitions. These feelings and experiences can be incredibly overwhelming, confusing, and isolating and I am passionate about helping people develop coping strategies, process painful experiences, and heal and grow so that they can live a fulfilling life.
For many of us, our pains and heartaches can be felt in every aspect of our lives, physically, emotionally, mentally, behaviorally, and relationally. My experience includes assisting children, adolescents, adults, and families who are dealing with problems related to depression, anxiety, relationship issues, family conflict, trauma, and major life transitions. These feelings and experiences can be incredibly overwhelming, confusing, and isolating and I am passionate about helping people develop coping strategies, process painful experiences, and heal and grow so that they can live a fulfilling life.
(530) 404-5573 View (530) 404-5573
Photo of Robyn A Engel, LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Robyn A Engel
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95926
Hello, and thanks for dropping by. Life can be incredibly lonely and harsh. My goal is to support you, gently and honestly, towards increased self respect and worthiness. Licensed since 1999, I have vast experience with children and adults. Depression, anxiety, complicated traumas and grief; issues regarding foster care and adoption; sexual abuse, parenting, and/or child welfare are areas I'm well versed in. I'm genuine, compassionate, and I tell it like it is. Most importantly, you deserve a therapist with whom you're comfortable. That search can be trying, but it's worthy because you are. I'd be honored to be that person.
Hello, and thanks for dropping by. Life can be incredibly lonely and harsh. My goal is to support you, gently and honestly, towards increased self respect and worthiness. Licensed since 1999, I have vast experience with children and adults. Depression, anxiety, complicated traumas and grief; issues regarding foster care and adoption; sexual abuse, parenting, and/or child welfare are areas I'm well versed in. I'm genuine, compassionate, and I tell it like it is. Most importantly, you deserve a therapist with whom you're comfortable. That search can be trying, but it's worthy because you are. I'd be honored to be that person.
(530) 433-5660 View (530) 433-5660
Photo of Auburn Menefee, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Auburn Menefee
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95926
Accepting new clients! Located in Chico, CA and offering virtual sessions. Life has been overwhelming and you can barely keep your head above water. Persistent worry is distracting you from your everyday tasks or you lack the motivation you used to have. You want more but you're not sure how to get there. Whether it is a recent hardship or nagging past, you're ready to make sense of it all. You have it within yourself to find joy again. I'm here to help you uncover the stronger, healthier you, that has been there the whole time.
Accepting new clients! Located in Chico, CA and offering virtual sessions. Life has been overwhelming and you can barely keep your head above water. Persistent worry is distracting you from your everyday tasks or you lack the motivation you used to have. You want more but you're not sure how to get there. Whether it is a recent hardship or nagging past, you're ready to make sense of it all. You have it within yourself to find joy again. I'm here to help you uncover the stronger, healthier you, that has been there the whole time.
(530) 207-8916 View (530) 207-8916
Photo of Stacey Athias - Stacey Athias, MS, LMFT, MS, LMFT, Marriage & Family Therapist
Stacey Athias, MS, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist, MS, LMFT
Verified Verified
Chico, CA 95973
Sometimes it's difficult to look at the life we have and compare it to the life we'd like to have, without feeling disillusioned and powerless. Anxiety, depression, life transition, work-life balance, etc., can make life hard. If you find yourself in this position, you're not alone. Processing disappointment and overcoming difficulties can take time, and sometimes it feels like we're stuck and never going to be able to move on in life. If you've experienced anxiety, depression, trauma, etc., and are having difficulty finding your way, I am here to help.
Sometimes it's difficult to look at the life we have and compare it to the life we'd like to have, without feeling disillusioned and powerless. Anxiety, depression, life transition, work-life balance, etc., can make life hard. If you find yourself in this position, you're not alone. Processing disappointment and overcoming difficulties can take time, and sometimes it feels like we're stuck and never going to be able to move on in life. If you've experienced anxiety, depression, trauma, etc., and are having difficulty finding your way, I am here to help.
(530) 441-0789 View (530) 441-0789
Photo of Holly Nielsen, MA, LMFT, LPCC, Marriage & Family Therapist
Holly Nielsen
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT, LPCC
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Chico, CA 95973
Are you feeling a little overwhelmed right now? Wondering how you can get the confidential and impartial support you need to heal from painful or confusing emotions and thinking patterns? The safety and acceptance provided in professional counseling sessions with a therapist can give you fresh perspectives that will help you thrive again and move forward in your life. There's no one-size-fits-all for therapy. I have developed my own therapeutic process, soul-centered psychotherapy, to provide the tools, resources, insight, and accountability tailored to your unique needs as an individual.
Are you feeling a little overwhelmed right now? Wondering how you can get the confidential and impartial support you need to heal from painful or confusing emotions and thinking patterns? The safety and acceptance provided in professional counseling sessions with a therapist can give you fresh perspectives that will help you thrive again and move forward in your life. There's no one-size-fits-all for therapy. I have developed my own therapeutic process, soul-centered psychotherapy, to provide the tools, resources, insight, and accountability tailored to your unique needs as an individual.
(530) 771-6354 View (530) 771-6354
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Emotionally Focused Therapists

Who is emotionally focused therapy for?

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is for couples who are emotionally distressed, stuck in an unsatisfying relationship pattern or feeling deeply alienated. They may even believe the relationship is beyond repair. Very often, the partners display intense anger, fear, grief, loss of trust, or a sense of betrayal in the relationship. In addition, EFT is helpful to couples and individuals who have difficulty expressing emotions and those who have trouble regulating emotions.

Why do people need emotionally focused therapy?

People need emotionally focused therapy because the need for others is built into the brain, but the pressures of daily life can erode feelings of love, and couples often do not have the skills to find their way back to the comfort of each other. Instead, they may be stuck in repetitive patterns of anger, fear, grief, loss of trust, or a sense of betrayal. Emotionally focused therapy regards such strong negative feelings as expressions of protest over the loss of connection and turns them into pathways of reconnection.

What happens in emotionally focused therapy?

Over the course of eight to 20 weekly sessions, couples de-escalate their negative emotional reactivity to one another so that they can listen to each other and be responsive to each other’s needs. Then the deep emotional and physical bond is restored, giving partners a sense of comfort and security, which they can use to solve whatever problems come their way. The therapist plays an active role, helping partners understand how anger and withdrawal are actually misguided cries for connection.

What problems does emotionally focused therapy treat?

EFT is designed to help couples stuck in dysfunctional relationship patterns regain closeness and rebuild their relationship. Typically, such couples experience considerable distress, with partners feeling alienated and distrustful of one another, not certain their relationship can survive. EFT is also helpful to individuals experiencing attachment-related fears of loss; it helps them learn to use their fears as a way of eliciting the closeness they desire.