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David Schnarch Ph.D.

About

David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of numerous books and articles on intimacy, sexuality, and relationships.His clinical abilities attract clients and students from across the globe. David chaired the Professional Education Committee and served on the Board of Directors of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) for eight years. He is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (Diplomate status), the first recipient of the AASECT "Professional Standard of Excellence" Award, and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). David currently serves on the editorial board of AAMFT's Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy. For seventeen years he was an Associate Professor in the Depts. of Psychiatry and Urology at Louisiana State University Medical School.

In 1991, David wrote the landmark book, Constructing The Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy (W. W. Norton & Co.), now used in clinical training programs across the country and read by therapists around the world. The Crucible Approach® is widely regarded as the most sophisticated integration of sexuality, intimacy, spirituality, personal development, and marital therapy developed to date.

His second book, Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships (W. W. Norton & Co., March 1997, Owl Books, 1998), is a perennial best seller, offering the general public his revolutionary approach in a pragmatic and easy-to-understand form.

His third book, Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship (HarperCollins, August, 2002), offers hope to millions of normal couples and singles who have sexual problems.

His latest book Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship (Beaufort Books, October 2009) combines time-tested solutions for sexual desire problems with cutting edge information on interpersonal neurobiology. German translation of Intimacy & Desire was released by Klett-Cotta Verlag in March 2011. The English paperback version will be released mid-May 2011.

David is the recipient of the 2011 Outstanding Contribution to Marriage & Family Therapy Award from the American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy (AAMFT).

This blog consists of two threads: "Ideas to Ponder" and other articles.

"Ideas to Ponder" are summary ideas at the end of each chapter of Intimacy & Desire. The Ideas to Ponder Blog unpacks these key thoughts, principles, or observations, and highlights additional points within Intimacy & Desire.

Articles in the "Ideas to Ponder" series provide an educational resource for couples seeking a differentiation-based approach to love, sex, intimacy, and life. They lay out the natural ecology of adult love relationships, and detail the workings of the "people-growing machinery." Many concepts and ideas apply to all types of relationships including with chldren, in-laws, friends, and co-workers. These articles offer a somewhat different "take" on topics and are not book excepts.

Other articles address topics worth writing about, which lie outside the focus of Intimacy & Desire. There's more to life than sex and intimacy--although when that's not going well it doesn't seem like it.

Books by David Schnarch Ph.D.
Recent Posts
Normal Marital Sadism
The May 2012 edition of Psychology Today has an article featuring my work, describing how I deal with partners’ unacknowledged anger, hostility, and hatred. So I want to start off by telling you I’m actually a pretty nice guy. You can even ask my wife, daughter and parents. They are all honest, kind, decent people—arguably even more so than me—so they know the difference.
Do You Want Your Partner To Stroke Your Ego Or Your Genitals?
Want your partner to accept, validate and emotionally support you? Want hot sex too? In long-term committed relationships you're not likely to keep getting both. So what will it be? Have your partner inflate your ego, soothe your childhood wounds, or rub your erogenous zones? It's human nature to lose sexual desire for someone you have to constantly prop up.
Developing a Self Greatly Shapes Your Sexual Desire
Couples with sexual desire problems are often battling out the wars of autonomy, attachment and selfhood. You think you're just having sex problems. It doesn't help that your partner may be saying, "It's not about you, I'm just not into sex." Or, "All you want is sex!" Your partner is saying it too: it's about sex. That's what you probably want to believe too.
Decoding The Logic of Sexual Relationships

Sex is part of the "people growing machinery" of emotionally committed relationships. Sexual boredom and squabbles about sexual repertoire are normal, inevitable and potentially healthy developments that push us to grow into mature adults capable of durable love and hot sex.

Sex is part of the "people growing machinery" of emotionally committed relationships. Sexual boredom and squabbles about sexual repertoire are normal, inevitable and potentially healthy developments that push us to grow into mature adults capable of durable love and hot sex.

Sex and Self-Development Between The Sheets

The only way to cure sexual boredom is to expand your sexual repertoire. But don't expect your partner to applaud when you propose something new. Expect to hear, "That's a disgusting and perverted thing to do!"

The only way to cure sexual boredom is to expand your sexual repertoire. But don't expect your partner to applaud when you propose something new. Expect to hear, "That's a disgusting and perverted thing to do!"

People Have Sex Within The Limits of Their Development

People have sex up to the limits of their sexual development. The solution to sexual boredom involves stepping outside your familiar repertoire and creating novelty. This raises your anxiety, challenges your identity, and shakes up your relationship.

People have sex up to the limits of their sexual development. The solution to sexual boredom involves stepping outside your familiar repertoire and creating novelty. This raises your anxiety, challenges your identity, and shakes up your relationship.

Sexual Relationships Always Consist of 'Leftovers'

The most profound truths about relationships are often stunningly simple to articulate and incredibly difficult to live with. We're too ready to think we have "irreconcilable differences" or "sexual incompatibility" or we've "lost the chemistry." If you don't understand how sex really works, you're more likely to needlessly get divorced.

The most profound truths about relationships are often stunningly simple to articulate and incredibly difficult to live with. We're too ready to think we have "irreconcilable differences" or "sexual incompatibility" or we've "lost the chemistry." If you don't understand how sex really works, you're more likely to needlessly get divorced.

People Who Can't Control Themselves Control The People Around Them Part 2

Interdependence as a concept has been around for years, but it is badly misunderstood. This is why people talking the most about it are usually unable to do it. The problem isn't that they have difficulty putting their ideals into practice (but which is often true). The problem is their idea of interdependence is systematically wrong.

Interdependence as a concept has been around for years, but it is badly misunderstood. This is why people talking the most about it are usually unable to do it. The problem isn't that they have difficulty putting their ideals into practice (but which is often true). The problem is their idea of interdependence is systematically wrong.

People Who Can't Control Themselves Try to Control Others

Do your feelings and insecurities dominate your relationships? Do you always have to be right? These are signs of difficulty regulating and modulating your inner emotional world.

Do your feelings and insecurities dominate your relationships? Do you always have to be right? These are signs of difficulty regulating and modulating your inner emotional world.