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Your Zesty Self

New perspectives on freeing yourself from shame and building self-esteem.

Relationships
Save Yourself From Unnecessary Heartache!

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on January 6, 2018

Have you ever thought, "I'll never fall in love again"? There's a better way to take care of yourself without depriving yourself of deep connection.

Have you ever thought, "I'll never fall in love again"? There's a better way to take care of yourself without depriving yourself of deep connection.

Trust
Scams, Scandals, and Security Breaches

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on October 12, 2017

We may feel bombarded with stories about the lack of ethics, seemingly everywhere. But we can take charge and actively establish rings of trust around us.

We may feel bombarded with stories about the lack of ethics, seemingly everywhere. But we can take charge and actively establish rings of trust around us.

Embarrassment
The Vitamin Cocktail of Courage

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on June 9, 2017

Choosing to take even tiny courageous actions can be a powerful antidote to toxic shame and a vitamin cocktail for our Zesty Selves. Drink up.

Choosing to take even tiny courageous actions can be a powerful antidote to toxic shame and a vitamin cocktail for our Zesty Selves. Drink up.

Happiness
Four Steps to Developing Patience

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on September 2, 2011

So, what's the purpose of cultivating patience in yourself? In a word, happiness: better relationships, more success. Here's how you do it.

So, what's the purpose of cultivating patience in yourself? In a word, happiness: better relationships, more success. Here's how you do it.

Sex
Avoid a Surprising Holiday Hurt

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on November 22, 2010

Do you find it hard to imagine how someone would not like appreciation or compliments?

Do you find it hard to imagine how someone would not like appreciation or compliments?

Self-Esteem
How to Wreck Your Self Esteem: Compare Youself with Others

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on August 9, 2010

Typical scenarios- do you recognize yourself?
A client called me today in despair. She's opened a small dress store and was at a networking meeting talking with a business associate, who is also in the retail industry. Her associate was happy about the upturn in her company's sales and my client began comparing her own fledgling shop's receipts with the sales of her associate's long standing national company. Result: A revived worry for my client that she is not good enough, successful enough, strong enough, capable enough, driven enough- and never will be. She overlooks her courage, self discipline, honesty, organizational skills, love of women, and aesthetic sense.

Typical scenarios- do you recognize yourself?
A client called me today in despair. She's opened a small dress store and was at a networking meeting talking with a business associate, who is also in the retail industry. Her associate was happy about the upturn in her company's sales and my client began comparing her own fledgling shop's receipts with the sales of her associate's long standing national company. Result: A revived worry for my client that she is not good enough, successful enough, strong enough, capable enough, driven enough- and never will be. She overlooks her courage, self discipline, honesty, organizational skills, love of women, and aesthetic sense.

Relationships
The Other Three Magic Words for Relationships and Self-Esteem

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on February 4, 2010

Relational harmony increases self-esteem and lowers anxiety. These three words are even more effective for creating that harmony and therefore lowering anxiety. 

Relational harmony increases self-esteem and lowers anxiety. These three words are even more effective for creating that harmony and therefore lowering anxiety. 

Dreaming
How Reality Checking Can Save Your Life and Your Dreams

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on November 22, 2009

Never again would I not ask about what kind of a relationship another person wants before I actually entered one. I had learned the painful results of not doing a reality check.

Never again would I not ask about what kind of a relationship another person wants before I actually entered one. I had learned the painful results of not doing a reality check.

Depression
Raise Your Self Esteem by Getting Unglued from Your Stuck Feelings

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on October 29, 2009

Find peace from troublesome feelings and increase harmony in your relationships by using this awesome Conscious Witness perspective on yourself

Find peace from troublesome feelings and increase harmony in your relationships by using this awesome Conscious Witness perspective on yourself

Empathy
Stop Giving Me Empathy! It Makes Me Feel Bad

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on September 18, 2009

You may think everybody always wants to feel understood—but sometimes, we have barriers to receiving empathy.

You may think everybody always wants to feel understood—but sometimes, we have barriers to receiving empathy.

Empathy
Raise Self Esteem with the Lifeblood of Empathy

Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on August 31, 2009

I call empathy lifeblood, because it gives us vitality. After all, a basic everyday, all day human need is to be seen, heard and recognized for who we are. Not for how someone would like us to be. Not for how someone is trying to get us to be. But for who we are inside: Our feelings, thoughts, desires, and dreams.

I call empathy lifeblood, because it gives us vitality. After all, a basic everyday, all day human need is to be seen, heard and recognized for who we are. Not for how someone would like us to be. Not for how someone is trying to get us to be. But for who we are inside: Our feelings, thoughts, desires, and dreams.