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Growth Mindset

The World Is Not Your Oyster

Take some options off your list for better decision-making.

Source: Jon Tyson/Unsplash
Pair of feet behind arrows on pavement.
Source: Jon Tyson/Unsplash

We’re moving into the holidays, which means January and those dreaded New Year’s resolutions are right around the corner. Whether you are a resolution sort of person or not, this is a time that people start thinking about making a change, personally and professionally. And sure, while this year, in particular, may seem like an odd time to go changing up your job (unless you have to), the truth is, as bad as things are, a lot of folks are still hiring. Just this week, I have heard from multiple professionals who have landed, or are in the process of interviewing for, their next role.

You may be one of those who want to make a change. You’re either not happy, not challenged, or not seeing opportunity where you are. Perhaps this whole “work-from-anywhere” lifestyle has encouraged you to think about where you actually do want to live and work. Many professionals of all ages and experience levels have shared with me that the pandemic has forced some personal reckoning about where they find meaning and purpose and the misalignment of those things with their current choices.

These are, I believe, foundational questions to be asking yourself, not only in this moment but always. How do you define meaning and purpose? What is your motivation to work? And what are your values, and do they align with your role and your organization? Before you ever get to the job search, you need to start with these questions to figure out your why, or you are destined to find yourself moving through a series of jobs and roles that are unfulfilling and lack reward.

But then what? It’s easy enough if you can say, "I’m not happy where I am; it’s no longer motivating to me, and what I want to do is this other specific thing over here that builds on my experiences and my strengths." If you can name it, then you can put together a plan of action, identify your gaps, and make intentional moves forward in the direction of your goals.

But for many, it’s not so simple. Typically, what I hear from people sounds more like this: "I’m not happy where I am; it’s no longer motivating to me; I want to do something else, but I’m not quite sure what. Something more creative/strategic/insert some other vague term here. Honestly, I’ll do anything."

At some point in the past 50 years, we have moved from the rhetoric of “be happy you have a job” to “you can do anything you want” with, I believe, disastrous effects. In the first case, we encourage people to settle, often for mediocrity. It’s also fear-based language, as in, “I know a lot of people have it a lot worse off than I do, so I’m just happy to have a job,” even though I work in a completely toxic environment that’s crushing my ambition.

Here’s the thing. We, as evolved humans, can hold two ideas at the same time. It’s possible to feel gratitude for being employed when a lot of others aren’t and to want something different and better for yourself. Don’t just “be happy you have a job.” Find a role, an organization, and purposeful work that speaks to your values and your motivation.

But on the other hand, there is this language around “you can do anything you want” that bubbled up at some point in the past 20 years. And while technically that’s true, in actual practice, it’s not even close. You can’t do anything you want because you don’t have the skills, knowledge, or experience to do so.

Say you suddenly realize you like to help people and decide you want to be a doctor. Great. Have you gone to medical school? Can you get into medical school? Can you pass the MCAT? Can you afford to pay for medical school? Are you willing to do all the years of study and work it takes to become a doctor? It’s not magic. You don’t get to just speak something into the universe and have it come true.

This is the problem with the common understanding of having a growth mindset. When Stanford psychology professor Carol Dweck coined this phrase, she wasn’t describing an infinite capacity to do anything you want just because you want to. She was describing the belief system, the mindset, needed to stay open to learning, to moving forward in one’s life, to overcoming adversity and working through change. It’s a necessary ingredient for forward progress, both personally and professionally. But it’s not the whole recipe.

A fixed mindset is one that says, “I’ll never learn how to do this job well, so why even bother to try?” A growth mindset says, “I’ve got a lot to learn in order to do this job well, but I’m willing to do the work and to try.” A growth mindset is a necessary element for successful career development and planning. But it’s not the only element.

I am quite good at project management and certain kinds of research; these are good roles for me. I still have to work at them to learn and get better (growth mindset), but these are skills I have that separate me from other people, and it's work that I enjoy.

I’m not very good at graphic design or marketing. They don’t align with my skills or interests, nor do I have a lot of experience in them. A growth mindset would say that if I put in the work and commit to growing and learning, I will get better in those areas. No question.

But when it comes to career planning, why would I put my efforts there when other people are more suited to that work? Graphic design and marketing are not my strengths. And more importantly, I don’t want to do the work.

You can’t do anything you want, currently, because you lack the skills, knowledge, or experience in most areas. You can’t do anything you want because you actually don’t want to do just anything. You lack the desire or interest in lots of things. And if you get honest with yourself, you will realize you’re not motivated to put in the work.

OK, you say, but I would definitely go anywhere. Would you? Be honest. Would you go to live in a tiny town in the middle of the country? Would you go to live in a big city like New York? Would you go live in the Northeast or the Southwest? Would you go home and live across the street from your parents?

The point is this. The world is not, in fact, your oyster. And when we conceive of it as such, instead of opening up our opportunities, it becomes incredibly paralyzing.

Some of my favorite research is from 20 years ago, in what is known as “the jam experiment.” Briefly described, one day, a group of researchers put out a display of 24 different jams for people to try, offering a discount to those who purchased one. On another day, they put out six different jams. What they found was, while the larger display generated more interest, people were 10 times less likely to purchase and less satisfied with their purchase when they did. More choice isn’t better. More choice is just more choice and often prevents us from moving forward.

What does this mean for you and your career planning? You need to take things off the list. Narrow your options.

Stop focusing on the 20-year plan. Where do you want to be next year? That’s it. There are far too many unknowns over the next 20 years that are going to knock you off your path. One experience is going to lead to the next as you scaffold skills and grow your interests and gain clarity about yourself.

So, before you start thinking, "Where do I want to be, and what do I want to do?" start here:

  • Where do I not want to live?
  • What are the roles, organizations, and industries that I have zero interest in?
  • What are the roles that I am not qualified for?
  • What are the roles that are not aligned with my skills and for which I am unwilling to do the work to get there?

Eventually, you absolutely have to get to the questions of what do I want to do and how am I going to get there. But for effective decision-making, start by taking options off the list. Remove those choices that are keeping you roadblocked.

The world is not your oyster, and that’s OK. What’s the unique skill, talent, or strength that you provide? That’s what makes you, you. And that’s exactly where you should be.

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