Verified by 
Many schools (high schools, colleges and professional schools) as well as corporations and organizations offer ‘leadership training’ courses and seminars. At the same time, they have begun to call for ‘bystander intervention.’ Such intervention seems to require leadership skills, yet no-one offers training in 'bystander techniques.' So, here are a few concrete strategies that even those disinclined to get involved can employ:
1. Make eye contact with the victim. Shrug your shoulders, roll your eyes in the direction of the bully, arch your eyebrows, smile apologetically, shake your head and walk away. These are only a handful of the nuanced gestures of inclusion one can direct toward the victim. They go far toward negating the impression that ‘everyone’ is in silent solidarity with the bully.
2. Distract and /or redirect the attention of aggressors: “yeah, yeah, we know; now let’s go and …..” This is a safe intervention because it neither challenges the aggressor nor appears to sympathize with the target.
3. Connect to other bystanders through body language, and support those looking to be proactive. Bystanders look for backing from those who are also watching the spectacle. Catch someone’s gaze. Allow yours to be caught. Again, body language can gesture support, empowering one or another to act.
4. Avoid being a gossipmonger. Find out what happened, discuss any relevant aspects with peers, but don’t be a gossipmonger, fanning speculation. The less you contribute to re-hashing the incident, the faster chatter will move on to other topics. Do your small part in minimizing its social significance, and/or its life-span, by refusing to pay it undue attention. Think of the small comfort it might offer a victim to be able to think not ‘everybody’ stopped to witness her or his public humiliation, or are chatting about it on social media.
5. If the victim has transgressed and been publicly shamed, yet her ridicule and exclusion is ongoing, say—or tweet--something like, ‘Yeah but I feel bad for her, cause everybody is....’ It is not threatening, and might curtail gossip or even turn the conversation in a sympathetic direction (even if the immediate response back is 'well I don't'). .
6. Make eye contact with the victim beyond the immediate spectacle of shaming—in the halls, in the cafeteria, on the bus. The Germans have an expression “wie Luft behandel.” It literally means “to be looked at as though air.” Failure to acknowledge a victim reinforces rejection.
7. Risk telling an aggressor to ‘chill,’ or to just 'walk away.' The incident is not worth getting so worked up over. This shifts the terms of the dynamic. Offering feedback to an aggressor has the potential to circumscribe abuse of the victim, while appearing to focus on the best interests of the bully.
8. Be prepared to be a pro-active witness. Film the interaction, or, in the case of cyberbullying, take screen shots. Either might be needed by victims.
9. Anonymously get word to a sympathetic teacher, supervisor or authority figure. Not only does it alert someone in a position to intervene, it spares victims the need to identify themselves as a loser who is incapable of handling a situation—something it may be beyond their capacity to do. (Handling it, to victims, usually means ‘taking it.’ However, as has been increasingly shown, social rejection leads to cognitive impairment, so that ‘taking it’—remaining stoic in the face of ongoing social aggression--increasingly erodes a victim’s ability to negotiate day-to-day demands.)
10. Turn laughter back on itself, defusing the situation. Young people do this every day, in hallways, in cafeterias, and on social media. “Yo—why you still bothering with this drama (laugh)?” or “Seriously? Dude, that’s pathetic.” Generated by the peer cohort, these checks tease the bully, suggesting that aggressive behavior might begin to reflect negatively on its perpetrator. Not everyone has a relationship with an aggressor that allows this banter. But someone does. Bystanders can back such nonthreatening remarks by nodding, by adding, “Yeah, it’s time,” or by simply dispersing.
BONUS POINTS: Do not become part of the ‘bystander effect,’ even if you know that someone else has already intervened (in a pro-active way). Authority figures are much more inclined—and able--to act if they hear about abuse from more than once source. Victims are much more able to negotiate their humiliation if more than one person offers a small gesture of kindness, even a surreptitious one. (Practice using your voice by echoing the voice of others.)
DOUBLE BONUS POINTS: If you are brave enough to confront someone behaving aggressively, think to do so in the form of a question. (Otherwise, you risk being perceived as someone looking to shame and humiliate a perpetrator, raising the stakes of the encounter). Asking “why do you keep ragging on him?” or “look at her—haven’t you said enough?” sidesteps a direct challenge, asking, instead, that they explain/justify their ongoing behavior. A request is much less threatening than a denouncement, yet sends the same message.
