When Words Speak Louder than Actions

Sarah had just returned to Key West from Miami, where she was certified in how to train her staff on CPR. She is in charge of a large staff that performs mosquito spraying for the entire lower Keys.

She also works part-time table-waiting at a local steak house. One of the regular customers kept touching her every time she went by his table. She asked him to stop reaching out physically to her, and he apparently decided not to stop. Next thing she shared that seemed to be effective was to tell him: “I told you not to touch me and if you do, I will stab you in the eyes with the kitchen’s sharpest knife.”

There are times when you just have to be very direct. Hopefully, not with a threat like Sarah shared, although it finally seemed to correct the bad behavior.

When someone at work says something that you know is inappropriate or outrageous, be prepared to confront the situation. We share these real stories told to us by women so that you know you aren’t alone.

Melody went to a movie with her boyfriend. A man came into the theater alone and sat in the same row, leaving an empty seat in between them. During the movie she felt a few fingers touch her shoulder. Startled, she jumped and assumed it was the people behind her who were sharing their popcorn and accidentally touched her. Later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. This time she realized it was the man on the other side of the empty seat. She gave him a long nasty stare and continued watching the movie. The third time, he began caressing her shoulder. This time, Melody looked and him and loudly said, “If you do that again, your gonna die.” He got up and left the theater.

Often the offender stuns the person, as their action is completely unexpected. Sometimes a larger group meeting makes it more challenging to address ugly comments.

Samatha was presenting her marketing plan to a large group of managers including the CEO of the tech company. Joe, the manager of sales, kept talking to others during her presentation. She decided to stop presenting and kept quiet for a few minutes, which got everyone’s attention, including Joe’s. Samatha then resumed with “my time is as important as all of your time, so I appreciate you holding discussions until the end of my presentation”. Afterward, everyone, including the CEO, complimented the marketing strategy she shared.

A few interesting quotes to keep top of mind:

Actions speak louder than words. And sometimes inaction speaks louder than both of them. Matthew Good

Actions speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. Mark Twain

Actions can speak louder than words, but words can sometimes cut deeper than a sword if they come from the right people in our lives. Christina Estabrook

We are all familiar with the phrase, “Actions speak louder than words.” At the heart of the saying is the concept of incongruence—when what someone says doesn’t match what they do. Such misalignment can lead to mistrust and confusion. So, listen carefully to words, and then observe the actions that follow the words.

Many days of the year bring a celebration of something. June 22 is Stupid Guy Thing Day, founded in 2022 by Ruth and Thomas Roy, who are professional celebrants of "life's quirky moments." It’s a day for making a list of stupid things men say and passing it on to others.

Women, celebrate this day by relishing the potential impact of sharing your stories with other women, and don't forget the men in your life.