7 Challenges Technology Poses to Love in the Digital Age

While technology has plenty of upsides for relationships, it can also introduce unique challenges that put relationships to the test. Whether you’ve just met on a dating app or you’ve been married for decades, it’s important to recognize the role technology plays in your connection.

No matter how many healthy relationship habits you have, one or two bad habits with technology could damage your bond. In my book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, I address issues that are often exacerbated by technology, like keeping secrets or ignoring your partner. While issues like jealousy and communication problems certainly pre-date smartphones and social media, technology has allowed them to grow bigger.

Fortunately, when you understand the difficulties love in the digital age pose, you can develop solutions for overcoming them. You can also get proactive about finding ways to use technology to enrich your relationship—not hinder it. Here are the biggest technological issues couples face and solutions on how to deal with them.

1. Communication Breakdowns

In an age when text messaging and social media are the norm, miscommunication is a common pitfall. Text-based communication lacks the nuance of face-to-face interactions, leading to misunderstandings. Even a simple text like, “Did you remember to pick up milk?” can be interpreted in many different ways when the tone is unclear.

Solution: Prioritize face-to-face conversations for important discussions if texts turn into miscommunications. Send plenty of positive text messages so your tone is interpreted more positively. Before you send a message, read it over and consider how it might be interpreted by your partner who isn't sure how you're feeling in that moment and edit as needed.

2. Social Media Jealousy

Social media platforms, while great for staying connected, can also fuel jealousy. Seeing who your partner follows, reading comments they leave for others, and witnessing their interactions can lead to feelings of insecurity. While you might be tempted to go snooping to look for further evidence, spying on your partner erodes trust.

Solution: Establish clear boundaries and discuss acceptable behavior on social media. Regularly communicate about any concerns and reassure each other of your commitment. Discuss your expectations about what’s OK to keep private versus what constitutes an unhealthy secret. Transparency and trust are key to preventing misunderstandings.

3. Privacy Concerns

The digital age comes with its own set of privacy challenges. Disagreements over what personal information to share online can create tension. One partner may be more interested in sharing details about a vacation, new purchase, or family issue than the other.

Solution: Have an open dialogue about your comfort levels regarding online sharing. Respect each other's privacy settings and decisions. A mutual understanding about boundaries—and then respecting one another’s boundaries—is essential to trust.

4. Devices Taking Priority Over Time Together

A lot of people are checking their work email from home or finishing up a little work from their laptops in their evenings. As work bleeds into what was traditionally considered family time, many couples find their relationship taking a backseat to their employers.

Solution: Designate tech-free times or zones, such as during meals or in the bedroom, to focus on each other. Engage in activities that don't involve screens to strengthen your connection. Dedicating time to give one another your undivided attention can significantly enhance intimacy and strengthen your bond.

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5. Digital Infidelity

The internet provides an avenue for connections that can sometimes blur boundaries and can lead to infidelity. The internet means you have countless choices of people who are looking for romantic connections at your fingertips. And it’s easier than ever to connect with an ex or flirt with an acquaintance.

Solution: Clearly define what constitutes infidelity in your relationship and set boundaries for online interactions. Discuss specific issues, like your expectations regarding contact with an ex or what you expect if your partner receives a flirty message. Understanding and respect for each other's boundaries can prevent issues from arising.

6. Phubbing

Phubbing, or ignoring a partner in favor of digital devices, can erode relationship satisfaction over time. It’s frustrating to talk to someone who doesn’t look up from their phone or to be dining in a restaurant only for your partner to be texting. But it can become such a habit that partners who are phubbing have no idea they're doing it.

Solution: Be mindful of your phone usage when you’re spending time together. Make a conscious effort to put devices away and give your partner your full attention. This simple act can reinforce your commitment and appreciation for each other. And if your partner ignores you, share your concerns and make a request like a phone-free dinner.

7. Different Tech Habits

Couples often have varying preferences and habits regarding technology use, which can lead to friction. If your partner enjoys texting throughout the day and you don’t have the time or availability to respond, it might cause problems. Or, if you prefer to wait until you get home to talk instead of communicating by phone during the day, you might struggle with communication.

Solution: Discuss how you prefer to use technology and share any concerns you have. Work on respecting each other's preferences and needs. Embracing each other's differences and finding a balance is crucial for a strong relationship.

Use Technology to Your Advantage

While technology presents significant challenges in modern relationships, it also provides opportunities for growth and connection when managed wisely. You might find you feel more connected when you’re able to text during the day.

You can use texts to send messages like “I miss you,” or share a funny meme that says, “I thought of you.” By prioritizing communication, establishing boundaries, and making time for each other, you can turn technology into a tool that helps your love grow stronger in the digital age.