Verified by 
The trailer for "Sex and the City 2" came out on Friday—an event so monumental, there were over a thousand news articles written about its plot hints and innuendos within hours.
I was on google reading every single one of them.
I'll tell you right now that I have a love/hate relationship with Carrie Bradshaw and her pack of she-wolves. I remember watching the series in college with my roommates. We'd pour ourselves sugary cocktails in martini glasses and giggle with delight as we learned about important topics like female ejaculation and vacationing in the Hamptons. We'd eagerly discuss the pros and cons of both Big and Aidan and compared them to our real-life imaginary boyfriends, wishing that we could be running around New York in short skirts and 5-inch heels.
Carrie struggled and suffered. But in the end, she got what she had always wanted: Big. It only took 20 years!
So imagine my surprise when I saw the second love of Carrie's life, Aidan, flash though the Moroccan backdrop in the sequel's trailer. It wasn't a mirage; the furniture maker was back after disappearing during the final season of the series with his little man Tate.
And the best part? Our dear friend Carrie thinks its fate. Oh yea, and she happens to be on the rocks with Big, who allegedly has an international affair in London or something. Not to mention, a very gorgeous Penelope Cruz on his arm.
For the first time, I found myself thinking that this story line kind of made sense. Okay, it's unlikely that the average girl gets an all expense paid trip to Morocco or has a $40,000 shoe collection, but we do get our second, third, and fourth chances at fate with past boyfriends...
There are lots of articles out there, especially on Psychology Today, that address the question: Can you get back together with your ex?
Most experts will tell you: Hell NO. Sorry, but the reasons you broke up the first time will almost inevitably resurface. It's the nostalgia for memories long gone that tricks us into thinking it will work again.
Sure, there are those stories where couples break-up but then get back together years later like in "The Parent Trap", one of my favorite movies from childhood (the Hayley Mills version, not Lohan).
According to Charlotte from "Sex and the City", we have "two great loves," and that's it. The quota is filled, baby.
What is dangerous about this phrasing is that once you've deemed someone "a great love," you're likely to let him get away with anything. In addition, you allow yourself to become completely irrational, and find yourself constantly going back to this person for (unfulfilling) relationships time after time. Because each time, you tell yourself, this is the one where it'll "work."
In other words, this "great love" is your greatest kryptonite.
Unfortunately, I have also fallen victim to this "great love" epidemic. There is someone out there who I believe is my Aidan or Big, and whenever he returns back in my life—it's been years since the demise of the relationship—I still can't help but feel wildly attracted, emotional, and insanely quixotic in his presence.
I simultaneously hate and am intrigued by his power over me, because there is no one else who has the ability to give me shivers just at the mention of his name. There is no one else who conjures up NC-17 rated fantasies in my otherwise PG-13 head, and there is no one else who I think of as my heterosexual soul mate.
All of these confessions should be null and void, considering I haven't seen this person in years, but still, the problem with feeling this "great love" is believing that another encounter is imminent. In fact, I find myself, simply waiting for the next round. Total masochist, I know.
Common sense and most relationship research suggests that relationship 2.0 will not fare much better than the original version, but still there is hope.
Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at Cal State University, Sacramento, wrote a book about finding lost loves, "Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindle Romances."
According to her research, which included analyzing questionnaire responses from 1001 participants who reunited with former loves, ages 18 to 89, in 50 states and 35 countries, Kalish found that lost romances that had been rekindled from the past were very successful, as long as the people were single, divorced or widowed. In fact, 72 percent of these couples reported that they were still together when they had filled out the questionnaire.
Additionally, if the couples had been each other's first love, then they were 78 percent successfully in love.
Moreover, while these relationships were described as "comfortable" or "familiar":
"Most of the couples reported that this lost and found love experience was the most emotional and sexual romance in all of their love history."
Couples believed a higher power was bringing them back together again. Hmmm... sounds a little like fate to me.
Still, Kalish warns of the risks of looking for the one that got away. Since the dawn of the internet, the business of trying to find former loves has increased exponentiall—reflected mostly by the number of extramarital indiscretions that has been infiltrating her research. Between 1993 and 1996, there was a 30 percent extramarital rate; now, it's at 82 percent.
Apparently, what is intended to be a simple get-together for "closure" or a casual coffee can turn into excavacated feelings and lust from yesteryear.
I've never believed in "closure" anyway. I've found that whenever anyone wants closure, he/she really wants one more opportunity to try to grab your right butt cheek in public.
According to Kalish: For people who are single, divorced, or widowed, rekindled romances are a fantastic way to find one's soul mate. If someone is married, he or she should not search for a lost love.
This means you, Carrie!
One other quick study that's kinda related to SATC!
Samantha, who is the most likable character, is also the most promiscuous. While I have always disagreed with her laissez-faire attitude toward casual sex, it looks like she's begun a revolution.
University of Minnesota Project Eating Among Teens researchers have found that among a sample of 1300 sexually active young adults, "this study found no differences in the psychological well-being of young adults who had a casual sexual partner verses a more committed partner."
The study also pointed out that while casual sex may not exacerbate emotional health, it can certainly adversely affect physical health. STDs anyone?
Follow me on Twitter! (I'll follow you too!) ThisJenKim
Sources: University of Minnesota (2009, December 9). Psychological impacts not found for casual sex
