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Due to chronic pain and illness, I’ve had over 16 years to adjust to being mostly housebound. Here are six ideas for living a purposeful and fulfilling life even if you’re stuck at home.
1. Bring the outdoors indoors
I’ve found that the best way to do this is to grow plants indoors. You could start a little herb garden. It won’t take up much space and, if you don’t have natural sunlight coming in, you can put the plants under a bright lamp for a few hours a day.
A few years ago, I started growing bonsai after my daughter and her family gave me a cute little juniper tree for my birthday. At first, I thought the juniper would be all I could handle, but they also gave me a book full of beautiful photos of trees, some of which could be grown indoors. (Many people don’t realize that growing bonsai indoors is a relatively new phenomenon; if you saw a bonsai when you were visiting someone, he or she most likely brought it in from the outdoors temporarily so that you could enjoy it.)
I love growing trees in my bedroom. I’d never imagined I could do this before. Currently, I have five trees: a jade, an umbrella tree (also known as a schefflera), a flowering mimosa, and two different species of ficus. The umbrella tree and one of the ficus have multiple trunks, so each of them looks like a little forest.
Growing bonsai can be expensive, but there are ways to get around that. For example, you’re supposed to buy a “root hook,” which is a tool to comb out the roots in preparation for pruning them back when they get impacted. Instead of a root hook, I use a kitchen fork (a tip I found online).
You can also buy fancy water meters that tell you the precise water content of the soil, so you know when to water them. Instead, I push my finger down into the soil about a quarter of an inch to see if it’s dry and needs water (another online tip). This works fine!
In addition, you can buy expensive books on caring for bonsai but, as you can tell from the two paragraphs above, everything you need to know can be found on the internet for free. Just Google “bonsai” and than add words for whatever you need to know: watering, fertilizing, pruning, etc.
And as for buying them? To my surprise, there are inexpensive and moderately-priced plants on the web if you look around.
Growing these bonsai has done more for me than just "bringing the outdoors indoors" because I’ve learned a new skill.
2. Undertake a modest beautification project
A few years ago, I took up doing jigsaw puzzles all the time. I started doing this because I was at a low point in my chronic illness and, to be honest, in addition to keeping up this writing, sitting in bed and putting puzzles together was all I could handle.
Jigsaw puzzles can be expensive if you get high quality ones, so what I did was buy ones with beautiful paintings on them (especially from the impressionists) and then, after a few weeks, take one apart and do it over again.
After puzzles are completed, many people spray them with fixative and put them up on the wall. I couldn’t do that because I was taking them apart and doing them over. So, instead, I displayed them after they were done by putting them down on any empty surface I could find—a dresser, a table in the living room, even the back of the toilet. Some are still there and they look great!
So, that’s one idea for a beautification project. Here’s another. You could take a small space and fix it up so it looks particularly nice. The other day, I realized that one corner of the living room had become a depository for stuff, some of which we hadn’t used for years. It only took me 10 minutes clean out that corner and wipe the dust away. Then I put a statue we had of Kuan Yin in its place. Declutter and beautification at the same time!
3. Take up an art or craft
I’ve experimented with many arts and crafts since becoming mostly housebound. Some are beyond my energetic abilities. One example of that is when I tried fabric painting. My idea was to use non-toxic dyes like Dyna-Flo and create designs on silk scarves that I could then give away to people. Unfortunately, the set-up and the clean-up alone used up all my energy, so those materials were soon boxed up and donated to our local SPCA store.
What can I do? I can crochet and I can sew. (I can’t knit because of arthritis in my fingers.) I’m also trying watercolor; instead of standing or sitting at an easel, I recline in a lounger and bring the paper close to me. I’ll see how that goes. One advantage of watercolor (or drawing) over something like oils or acrylics is that the set up and clean-up are relatively easy.
And I can also write from my bed…usually in small spurts of time. You might try writing poetry or keeping a diary. It can be so satisfying to get your thoughts down on paper and then read them over and make them more articulate and expressive.
4. Discover the world of podcasts
I had no idea that this was such a resource until a friend suggested I listen to one about an eccentric living in the southern U.S. It was riveting. You can find podcasts on every imaginable subject. What amazes me about the ones that follow a person’s life is that, no matter how ordinary people appear to be, everyone is interesting and unique in some way.
5. Keep your brain sharp with puzzles or by studying something new
I’ve mentioned jigsaw puzzles. You might try crossword puzzles or Sudoku. As for studying something new, think about what you’d like to understand or appreciate better. It could be a historical era or it could be art. Dozens of museums have put their collections online: the British Museum in London, the Guggenheim Museum in New York, the National Gallery in Washington, D.C, the Musée d'Orsay in Paris. (The latter houses dozens of famous impressionist paintings. I tell an anecdote about my visit there in Chapter 1 of my book, How to Be Sick.)
Set a time each day to study, but be flexible. If you don’t feel well enough one day, skip studying or practicing. The time you devote to it shouldn’t be longer than you can handle—even 10 or 15 minutes will do. You can study from books or the internet. I’ve discovered that when I find a book I like at Amazon, it’s usually available from the Amazon Marketplace at a price that’s less than the $3.99 it costs to have it shipped! Barnes & Noble has the same service.
Also, you can learn an amazing array of new skills from Podcasts and from YouTube. (I use YouTube a lot and only wish I didn’t have to wait through the ads that seem to be showing up more frequently these days; I can pay to get them to go away, but I don’t want to spend money on that.)
In addition, many classes are available on the web for free. Try sites such as Khan Academy or Coursera.
6. Foster at least one email or FaceTime relationship, where you can share conversationally as if you were meeting in person over coffee or tea
This has made such a difference in my life. Since becoming chronically ill in 2001, I’ve had two such friends. Sadly, one of them died, but we were friends until the end even though she lived on the other side of the world from me—I’m in California and she was in the Blue Mountains, outside of Sydney, Australia.
In addition to sharing the details of our lives, including our fears about her condition, we had so much fun together. We’d play a silly game called Fishdom on our computers and then email each other screenshots of the fancy aquariums we were building. We did this even when she was unable, toward the end, to get out of bed at all. It made us laugh.
Today, I have a close friend who lives across the country from me. We write to each other every other day or so. We share our lives: how we feel, what we’re up to, what’s going on in our families. It’s as if we’re sitting in the same room together. Her friendship enriches my life tremendously.
You may not think there’s such a person in your life. I encourage you to try to find one (it might be a family member or a friend who's just waiting to hear from you). If you try, you may stumble on the right person to get really close to. I did—twice.
© 2017 Toni Bernhard.
Thank you for reading my work. I’m the author of four books, including How to Be Sick: Your Pocket Companion (for those who've read How to Be Sick and those who haven't). May 2020.
