Beyond Misogyny, Many of Our Leaders Are Pathologically Mean

With the recent arrest of Harvey Weinstein, we’re having a day of reckoning, a defining moment where society is willing to admit to a disorder we’ve been sweeping under the rug for decades.

Drowning in reports of inappropriate sexual behavior and assault, we are no longer giving a free pass to those leaders who have abused their power and preyed on those less powerful. Our tendency and that of our coworkers has been—consciously or not—to aid, protect, and cover up for these individuals. But with the number of victims now speaking up and telling their stories, these men can no longer hide.

As of late January 2018, the running tally of men publicly accused of sexual misconduct—people at the top of entertainment, media, politics, fashion, business—was already at 120. This figure has only risen, to the point where, as of this writing, it’s become the new normal to learn of someone in the public eye once universally respected and then witness them taken down in the media, quickly, before our eyes.

Beyond the evident misogyny exposed by the #MeToo movement, there is another dark side to many of these talented individuals. These “leaders” are often just out for themselves. They step on others to get ahead. Exhibiting a variety of aberrant behaviors beyond sexual misconduct, they are deceptive and ruthless. They have explosive tempers and abusive personalities. Not only do they victimize women, they can be racist and bigoted. In a word, they are mean.

Pass any newsstand and you’ll see their faces on magazine covers and in the papers. They are America’s so-called winners: the tech entrepreneur; the politician; the beloved actor; the driven athlete. Social media eats them up—they’re the darlings (and demons) of Twitter.

In fact, a disproportionate number of these men share characteristics that compel people to behave badly even as it drives them to create and excel. I call this the “Mean Men” syndrome. These behaviors seem to run rampant in all fields where individual talent and ambition reign—whether sports, politics, entertainment, megachurches, or tech startups. Those same men who flourish in challenging circumstances can also exhibit one or more behavioral facets of the Mean Men syndrome: They are abusive to employees or colleagues, unprincipled in their pursuit of success, and devoid of empathy; they’re pathological liars, unable to feel remorse, and incapable of taking responsibility when they fail; and they’re arrogant and prone to see others strictly as tools for their own advancement.

Does this constellation of traits sound familiar? In 2016, a self-proclaimed winner slash reality TV host slash real estate mogul was accused by multiple women of sexual assault and subsequently won the U.S. presidency. A convicted serial rapist and child molester, Jerry Sandusky, retired football coach at Penn State; elsewhere in sports, Lance Armstrong had all seven of his Tour de France wins voided after lying about drug use—and had no remorse about it whatsoever. Harvey Weinstein’s alleged rapes resulted in his recent arrest, but he was also known for his adult tantrums and sudden, violent displays of hostility. One noted film reviewer commented, “He can be cruel and abusive…but look at the great works of culture he’s given us.” His helpers appeared to have known what was happening in those hotel rooms. Similarly, the Elders in Mars Hill Church knew of Mark Driscoll’s damaging abuses of power, misogynistic interpretations of the Bible, and unscrupulous methods of expanding his flock—and did nothing to stop him.

Entrepreneurs from Steve Jobs to the recently sentenced Martin Shkreli have reportedly acted as though their “genius” and success absolved them from needing to act like decent human beings. Many of these men don't rise up through the ranks—between the internet, technology, and the abundance of venture capital funding, they’ve been able to start billion-dollar businesses without paying any real dues. And we Americans are guilty of idolizing them.

Why am I so interested in the study of mean men? I’ve seen them in action up close, and after observing the enormous damage they inflict on people and organizations, I undertook a study of their psychologies. Their behavior is appalling, and it’s wrong—and has much wider reaching implications than I could ever have imagined. Can anything be done about them? I believe it can.

Contrary to popular wisdom, mean doesn’t “get results,” and it doesn’t “work.” In fact, a growing body of compelling research shows just the opposite. Rather, it’s the leaders who support and empower people, act with authentic leadership, and inspire trust who get the best results in the long term. This is true across the board—in business as well as in social and political realms. We need to create awareness of the extent of this problem and stop getting behind mean men—instead, we must follow the example of leaders who walk the talk of gender equity and social justice, and hold institutions accountable for the behavior of their leadership.

Source: Mark Lipton

In the next post: The psychological underpinnings of mean men, and some of the science involved.

Mark Lipton, Ph.D., is a graduate professor of management at The New School in New York and author of Mean Men. For more than 40 years, he has advised Fortune 500 corporations, think tanks, philanthropies, not-for-profits ,and startups.