Pursue Excellence, Not Perfection

I work with many accomplished professionals who have worked hard in and on their careers. Even in this trying pandemic era, they’ve published big idea books, grown their businesses—or completely reimagined how to do business—leaned into team leadership at an elevated level, honed their speaking chops, and more.

And yet many of them carry a secret. They lug around a sense of shame and doubt because they think they should be fully competent, fully knowledgeable, and truly masterful at everything they do or put out.

Unconsciously or not, they expect from themselves perfection. Pursuing perfection can paralyze even the most adept among us. Over time, perfectionism especially paralyzes us when we’re venturing into new territory. Writing a new kind of book. Trying a new business model. Delivering a new keynote.

The root of the word perfect comes from the Latin word “perficere,” which means “completely do.” When we are stuck in perfectionism, we become obsessed with a mythical perfect completion. Yet the closer we get to achieving completion, the more unhealthy pressure we put on ourselves to raise the bar of perfection.

Perfectionism can cause depression and stress and other kinds of “significant psychopathological burden,” as a study on college students found. Recent studies from Finland to Italy have linked perfectionism to burnout—particularly during the pandemic.

What is the antidote?

Harness Curiosity to Find Joy in the Process

A few years ago, a business owner came to a four-day intensive I held in New York City. She was at a crossroads, in the midst of struggling with her business. She had arrived at the intensive with the idea that she needed to figure everything out and leave with the perfect plan for her business and life.

At the end of the week, however, she had no perfect plan. Instead, she had a reignited sense of curiosity about her interests, strength, and vision. Months later, her explorations led her to let go of her old business partnership and launch a new digital platform that was far more aligned with her strengths and genius.

Curious people have more of what psychologist Carol Dweck calls a “growth mindset,” which leads them to pivot and explore, rather than fixating on completion. For curious people, these explorations are genuinely pleasurable in and of themselves. Colin G. DeYoung, who heads up the DeYoung Personality Lab at the University of Minnesota, defines exploration as “any behavior or cognition motivated by the incentive reward value of uncertainty,” and points out that dopamine is released not only when we achieve a goal, but when we are in pursuit of it.

The business owner at my intensive workshop had learned an important lesson: While perfectionism closes us off to possibility, curiosity opens our minds to the pursuit of something else more fulfilling than perfection. That something else often gets confused with pursuing perfectionism.

Going Beyond Perfection

That something else is excellence. The word excellence has its roots in the Latin words for “beyond” and “lofty.” Where perfection ticks the boxes, excellence strives not for thoroughness, but for something intangible and wonderful beyond.

Pursuing excellence isn’t about pursuing perfect mastery. It’s about aiming to improve. To pursue excellence is to experiment wisely, fostering your sense of curiosity in order to enjoy the journey as much as the destination. And, when you truly harness curiosity in the pursuit of excellence, you may find yourself inspired to an entirely new (and more fulfilling) destination.

Perfectionism Essential Reads

Overcoming Perfectionism

How Perfectionists Use Anxiety to Cope with Depression

The following series of exercises is intended to lead you on a path of curiosity and pursuit of excellence.

Start by making each day a quest. Each morning, reflect on a prompt designed to ignite your curiosity. For example: Today I am curious about ____. What do I not know about ____? What discovery would excite me to pursue today?

Identify your own “What if?” possibility. Find a quiet time of day with few distractions, and ask yourself, “What have I been curious about for a long time?” Listen to your inner voice and let words and ideas float past your attention, noticing what’s “ringing” within you. Slowly write or draw what you notice, following your internal signals to find the question you truly care about.

If you run with a team, elicit from them what could be your team’s or business’s “What if?” question that opens you up to learning more on the road to excellence and possibility.

Connect your curiosity to what you care about. Turn your sense of curiosity onto your mission. Find a quiet moment to explore the following questions:

• Why am I creating what I am creating? Why do I care?
• By making it, what skills could I get to learn or hone?
• What resources and people outside of my knowledge could I seek out?

When you choose to pursue excellence, you’re putting a healthy emphasis on enjoying the process, rather than racing to meet an unattainable bar. I invite you to take time today to track your and appreciate your path toward excellence.

Learn more in my book Tracking Wonder: Reclaiming a Life of Meaning and Possibility in a World Obsessed with Productivity.