What Simone Biles Is Teaching High Achievers

Extraordinary human beings—whether they are athletes, architects, or incredible mothers—are to our lives what an Alfa Romeo is to the open road: Near perfection. We admire them and would probably worship them, were it not for the inevitable reminders that they too are human.

However undetectable their frailties are, we need high achievers in this world. They set the tall bars we strive to clear and give the mediocre among us something to aspire to. Fantasizing that I could somehow replicate Martha Stewart’s holiday marzipan nativity scene, is the reason I stuck with creative cooking long enough to master baking mini summer lemon cakes.

Simone Biles is awe-inspiring because almost no one in the world can nail an aerial twist the way she can. We expected her to dazzle us at the Olympics this summer. She expected to deliver. I suspect no one is tougher on a world-class athlete like Simone Biles than herself. It takes a different kind of courage to withdraw from a competition you’ve been preparing for most of your life. Walking away from a shot at a gold medal takes guts. She deserves our collective compassion and respect for what she's going through and what she's teaching us.

The lesson that Biles is illuminating for high achievers around the world is: give yourself permission to be human every day and the cost of being super-human, occasionally, will not become too high of a price to pay.

Self-care requires acknowledging that you are a human being and have an obligation to attend to your physical, emotional, and spiritual maintenance, on a daily basis.

The more you desire to achieve in this lifetime, the more meaningful and consistent your self-care plan should be.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 19 percent of adults in America struggle with anxiety. Rates of anxiety are elevated among high achievers because they view their success as a personal obligation. Outwardly, everything appears to be fine. Inwardly, many struggle to maintain a feeling of peace.

The following suggestions can help high achievers create a self-care maintenance plan that will sustain performance for the long haul and ensure you are adequately fueled with energy to face the joys and challenges of life with equal tenacity.

Accept that self-care requires time to nurture yourself

Time will not gift wrap itself and wait patiently on your doorstep. Resolve to carve out time each day to center yourself using tools that make sense to you. I enjoy starting and ending my day with the ritual of emptying. Give it a try by lighting a small candle (an electric one is fine also) and releasing your worries out loud. You don’t always need someone in the room to say what’s on your mind.

Shore-up your protective factors

Protective factors are anything in our lives that shield us from the stress of life. They serve as the screen door in the middle of a winter storm. Protective factors can be friends, hobbies, pets, your attitude, work, family, and much more. Insulate your life by cultivating five or more of these factors. The good news is you can create them! Recently I began sewing again because I felt I needed one more activity in my life that offered total escape from the intensity of my work.

Plan for emotional derailments

It’s not a matter of if you’re going to fall off track, it’s a matter of when. This is a realistic, not a pessimistic point of view. You are better served making consistency a goal in your life resilience plan instead of perfection. Anxiety, depression, and sadness happen. Instead of fighting the reality, have a plan in place to bounce back quickly. One of my clients created a resilience plan that includes a phone call to a hilarious friend when she’s feeling down. She said, “I never burden her with my problems, we just spend a half hour or so cracking up and talking about old times. When I hang up the phone I’m refreshed by the energy and feel grounded.”

Get comfortable saying no to safeguard your mind, body, and spirit

Last year a colleague of mine said no to a request. It was a small favor, and she could have done if she really wanted to—I knew it and she did too. She was caring for herself and stated, “I’m just spent! I can’t do one more thing. I’m sorry. No.” I wasn’t happy about her response, and I got over it—reasonable people do.

Oprah Winfrey says, "You can’t make it through life without disappointing some people." She’s right.

At the end of the day, it’s better that we disappoint a few people than sacrifice our mental health and well-being on the altar of high achievement.