Artificial Intelligence and the Future of Dating

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This past year, a new AI-companion called Replika had 10 million users. Users are falling in love with an advanced version of ELIZA, the first chatbot built by Weizenbaum in 1966.

A recent analysis of over 1,000 users of Replika suggests that the primarily male 35+ subscriber base experiences real emotional support and companionship with their AI-girlfriend (Buick, 2024). In some cases, users report that the Replika relationship has replaced human relationships (Maples et al., 2024). Some even marry their AI-companion with an official virtual ceremony.

In the coming decade, adolescents and emerging adults chronically single, socially underskilled, and frustrated by limited opportunities on dating apps may turn toward AI-driven chatbots whose “personalities” are shaped by our very responses to them.

These AI applications will likely have the greatest benefit for a growing number of unintentionally single people as well as INCELS. Application development is timely in the face of an epidemic of loneliness.

There are already indications that chatbots have saved lives for a small subset of Replika users who reported a chat with their bot interrupted suicide (Maples et al., 2024).

There may also be benefits for a generation disrupted by a global pandemic to practice carrying on a text conversation, though no study has yet to be conducted to show social skill enhancement through AI-chatbot engagement.

AI-Enhanced Dating Apps

Regardless of their widespread adoption, major dating apps continue to lose revenue and face broader dissatisfaction and instances of burnout in their users.

Attempting to leverage AI advances, Bumble recently proposed an AI-mitigated concierge dating process that resembles a service provided by another competitor Volar.

Volar builds out a chatbot based on your conservation with it that then goes on to have a 10-line conversation with hundreds of potential partner bots. You get a readout of any conversations that have made it to 10-lines and can then continue that conversation directly with a match toward a first date.

Technically, in either the Bumble or Volar scenario, you’re skipping one of the most tenuous of dating app tasks, the opening lines of a conversation with a match. Given how many matches don’t lead to even a short conversation, the AI bot conversations may take the edge off the unpleasantness that leads some daters to abandon the apps altogether.

It’s unclear whether these AI-mitigated encounters will net stronger initial connections or more positive dating outcomes at all. In the end, daters will still need to embrace the effort of initial conversations whether on an app or in-person.

Generative Texts

The latest innovations on dating apps have been an increasing promotion of within-app prompts to spur an interesting conversation between two matches. Bumble and Hinge are leaders in the prompt game.

Now, third party AI apps are being developed to generate responses to actual texts from actual matches. “YourMove AI” is such an app, providing seemingly witty responses to your matches' early banter.

While these innovations might lead to a first date and perhaps provide some tangible structure to initial conversations, they won’t translate into an actual conversation on that first date.

These fabricated conversations are a questionable use of technology, on their face lack authenticity, and are deceptive if the person you’re talking to thinks it’s you driving the conversation forward.

Those struggling with the skills to initiate social connection are encouraged to learn these skills with a competent professional and practice in real life (IRL) often. Undisclosed reliance on a chatbot will not teach skills.

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Whether replacing human relationships or supplementing the way we date, artificial intelligence will continue to influence the state of our unions for generations to come. AI is not the solution to the loneliness epidemic, our challenging dating environment, or the social skills deficits in our society. However, it may offer some a reprieve from disconnection and for others an enhanced online dating experience.