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No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Steve Jobs
An often used adage is that the only two things guaranteed in life are death and taxes. There is an unstated contract we commit to that if we come into this world, we must exit it. Certainly the concept of mortality is difficult for many to embrace and thus we find comfort and reassurance in the idea that life continues in various promised forms after death. For those who see the end of life as just that, there may be other social constructions of meaning around death and dying. Mostly many of us avoid the matter unless we are faced with it through the loss of family and friends and by our own decline.
It used to be that death and dying were part of our daily life. Diseases that we cure today killed many across the lifespan in the past and particularly soon after birth or in childhood. The dead were laid out in the home. For Victorians, for example, this included elaborate rituals of cloaking mirrors, cutting locks of hair, and making death masks. In fact, as photography came into wider use, photos of the dead were taken in lifelike poses and eyes were painted over the closed eyelids. These rituals are found throughout mankind’s history.
Today death is removed from us as many people die in hospitals and are then transferred to a mortuary so that we are either turned back into “dust” or displayed as some semblance of our lived-life in the confines of a casket. In the United States, a study revealed that patients typically spend eight days in an intensive care unit (ICU) comatose or with life support machinery and 30 percent of patients spend at least 10 days in the ICU before they die (Isaacs & Knickman).
What is a good death? Historically philosophers and theologians have considered a meaningful life as the antidote to death or a prescription for the after-life. According to the American Psychological Association, today many consider a good death one that is free of pain, anxiety, and emotional suffering. Many have created legal directives to avoid pro-longed life support and other unwanted treatments at the end of life, but report that they fear these directives will be ignored near death. This is in part because the medical community wants to maintain hope and is trained to keep life going at all costs.
I don’t have an answer, although a peaceful death is my best case scenario. I have, however, found comfort in Elizabeth Kuebler Ross’ reflection from "The Wheel of Life":
Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever.
