Making Wise Choices: The Key to a Meaningful Life

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Every day we face making hundreds of choices about our families, friends, health, jobs, money, education, time, purchases, food, and, most importantly, our goals, beliefs, values, and attitudes. Some of these decisions have little impact on our lives, while others may greatly impact our circumstances and overall sense of fulfillment.

Choosing is the act of selecting or making decisions when faced with multiple possibilities or options. It is important to note that “to not choose is also a choice”—delaying a choice or not making a decision is still a decision.

Choice overload

So how do we make choices that we will be happy with? We must realize that there will always be some form of conflict in the process of choosing. Our preferences, beliefs, or values will need to be reconciled. For example, do we overlook our dislike for large crowds in order to attend a friend’s party? Or, if we choose x instead of y, how will we deal with the possible feelings that y may have brought us more fulfillment?

Although choice-making involves a multitude of factors, here are three to consider:

1. Reflect and then choose.

In the foreword to our book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts: Viktor Frankl’s Principles for Discovering Meaning in Life and Work, Stephen R. Covey shared the following:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response, lies our growth and our happiness.¹

The space (or time) between what happens to us and how quickly we respond is so important. If we choose to react on impulse or without any element of rational thought, then our response might not be optimal. But if we slow down to reflect, we might find that the choices we make are better, not only for ourselves but for others involved in the situation.

2. Choose the option with the best alignment with your true self.

When we are younger, many of the choices are made for us by our guardians, but as we mature, we must make our own life choices about what is best. Many of the choices people make (consciously or unconsciously) are influenced by their need to seek safety, love, and belonging. In some cases, when these needs are not met, a person can spend their whole life living “someone else’s life,” seeking acceptance from others versus living a life that is true to themselves.

When faced with a difficult choice, the common advice is to make a chart listing the pros (positives/benefits) in one column and the cons (negatives/costs) in the other. I suggest a third column, entitled “alignment with the true self.” When considering various options, reflect on how choosing a specific option may or may not bring you closer to your authentic self/true nature. Of course, this exercise may highlight that you aren’t aware of who you are at your core or how you want to live your life, now and in the future. The clearer we understand ourselves—our values, what resonates with our true nature, what brings us meaning, the more authentic our decisions will be.

3. Choose and move forward.

A co-worker, Bob, often second-guessed his decisions, perceiving that he made the wrong choice, even if the choice had little impact on his work or on others. As a result of being raised by people who were overly critical of him, Bob, in turn, became overly critical of himself, which led to his lack of confidence in his decision-making skills. He was stuck in a cycle of mistrust.

In order to resolve discomfort and increase trust, consider the following:

• Try to simplify your daily options so you can save your brainpower for more important choices.
• If you are procrastinating about making a decision, set a deadline and stick with it.
• If the likely impact of the decision will be small, make the choice quickly and move on.
• If the impact of the decision is large, take your time to consider who and what it will impact, the consequences of your decision, and how you can correct any mistakes that may occur. Try not to get stuck in loop thinking.
• Consider the good arising from your decision. Focus more on the gain rather than on averting any loss.
• Focus on the deeper meaning of your choice by learning and growing from the experience.

Our choices define our lives. The more we are aware of who we are and the sources of meaning in our lives, the wiser the decisions we will make. Have the courage to choose how you want to live and how you want to contribute to making the world a better place for all.