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Key points
- There are challenges and benefits to becoming an empty nester.
- Social isolation is a real risk for empty nesters.
- Empty nests require parents to forge a new relationship to themselves as well as to their children.
The parenting journey is an incredible, transformative experience marked by milestones and memories. As children mature and venture into adulthood, parents face a new chapter in life: the empty nest. It is a significant turning point that evokes many emotions and brings benefits and challenges.
Even when they have positive aspects associated with them, transitions are never easy (Jain, Kanika, and Shivani Khatri, 2014). Becoming empty nesters has its emotional complexities, many related to how we view growing older. By becoming aware of the positive and negative aspects of becoming an empty nester, we can harness the emotions and halt a roller-coaster ride before it begins.
3 Benefits of Becoming an Empty Nester
1. Rediscovering individuality: Move over parent identity and make room for individuality. After years of focusing on raising children, parents can now dedicate time and energy to personal growth, pursuing dormant hobbies, and exploring new interests. Say hello to newfound freedom and self-discovery, which can contribute to happiness and life satisfaction among empty nesters.
2. Strengthening the marital bond: With children out of the house, couples often find themselves with more time and space to nurture their relationship. Rekindle romance, deepen emotional intimacy, and engage in activities you both enjoy. These can lead to higher levels of marital satisfaction and a renewed sense of companionship.
3. Career advancement and professional growth: Get the degree you always wanted. Start a business. Put extra energy into your career. Nest emptying can bring new opportunities for focusing on career advancement and professional growth. Parents who enter the empty nest phase in midlife often experience a boost in their professional lives. With fewer family obligations, parents can dedicate more time and focus on their careers, pursue advanced education or training, and take on new challenges. This renewed focus on professional goals can lead to increased job satisfaction and fulfillment.
3 Negatives of Becoming an Empty Nester
1. Feelings of loss and grief: The departure of children can trigger a sense of loss and grief for some parents. The sudden void at home may lead to feelings of emptiness and sadness. Empty nest syndrome is not a diagnosis but a term coined to describe this emotional response. It can manifest as anxiety, depression, or a general sense of purposelessness. Before the children leave home, preparation ( such as finding purpose in new ways and connecting with others) may help mitigate feelings of loss and grief.
2. Loneliness and social isolation: Many parents derive much of their social interactions from their children's activities and networks, and an empty nest may result in increased social isolation and loneliness. The absence of daily interactions with children and their friends can create a void in social connections. A way to combat loneliness and social isolation is to actively seek new social opportunities, join clubs, volunteer, or engage in community activities.
3. Uncertainty and worries: Parents often worry about their children's well-being, especially during the initial stages of the empty nest transition. The loss of direct control of their children's well-being can wreak havoc on the emotions of parents. Concerns about their children's independence, academic or career success, and overall happiness may loom large. A healthy transition for both parents and children hinges on support rather than control as children find their own paths.
Redefining Parental Roles and Identity
The shift in roles and identity as children leave the nest can throw a person off balance, wondering who they are if not a parent. The emptying nest provides the perfect time for adults to explore new interests and find meaning outside of parenting. It's a a unique opportunity for personal growth.
It's a time for renewed relationships, new activities—perhaps volunteering, mentoring, rededication to career goals—identity rediscovery, and increased well-being. There are benefits of self-rediscovery, enhanced marital satisfaction, professional growth, and improved life satisfaction during this period.
By understanding and addressing the emotional adjustments necessitated by the empty nest, parents can navigate this phase of life with resilience and find new opportunities for self-fulfillment and personal growth .
References
Jain, Kanika, and Shivani Khatri. 2014. "Geriatric Psychology: The Source of Inspiration for Old Age." Indian Journal of Health and Wellbeing 5(3):387-391 (https://sunyoldwestbury.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://www.proquest.com…).
