Ethics and Morality
6 Ways to Survive a Toxic Boss
How to cope when your manager is evil.
Posted October 6, 2017
Research by the Gallup organization reveals that bad leadership is the number one reason people leave their jobs. And as anyone who's had the displeasure of working for a toxic boss knows, the fantasy of telling him what a jerk he really is can be all-consuming. But what if you don't want to (or can't) quit your job in a blaze of glory?
Thankfully, there are ways to lesson your boss's impact on your success and well-being. Here are six suggestions:
1. Try a Laugh Track
The next time your boss loses her cool, pretend that you are starring in your own sitcom and imagine a laugh track behind your boss's words. Her mean behavior might become a little less scary, a little more bearable, and occasionally, hilarious.
2. Don't Forget That You're Awesome
Remember the people in your life who love, respect, and appreciate you. Keep a "kudos folder" on your desk with notes of praise, thank you cards, and complimentary e-mails that you’ve received from others. Peruse the folder anytime your boss is chipping away at your self-confidence.
3. Reframe Your Story
When your boss pushes your buttons, focus your effort on understanding his behavior. Instead of telling yourself a story that you are being targeted, persecuted or blamed, try to think of other explanations. For example, rather than questioning your competence, maybe his tough questions are how he shows interest. (For extra credit, find one thing about your boss that you respect.)
4. Don’t Take Bad Stuff Home
Your boss might be hijacking your emotional state at work, but get her out of your head as soon as you leave the office. Do you have hobbies outside of work that bring you joy? Are you spending enough time with your friends and family? Are you exercising? Do you contribute your time to a volunteer organization?
5. Find the Learning
Remember that your toxic boss is teaching you a hard-fought lesson: How not to treat other people. Keep a list called "Things my boss taught me that I will NEVER, EVER do when I have his job" (assuming, that is, you want it).
6. See the Big Picture
Remind yourself that you don’t have to work for this person forever. Think about what you want to be doing five years from now. Ask yourself two questions: 1) how can I get closer to this goal, and 2) when I reach it, will I even be thinking about this boss? The more you do this, the brighter that light at the end of the tunnel will start to look.