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Mating

6 Tips for Safe Online Dating During COVID-19

Avoiding scams when online dating is the only option.

As the pandemic continues, fewer and fewer opportunities to meet new dating partners are available. The fears of infection, becoming ill, and infecting others have led to upticks in the use of online dating apps.

As more and more of us flock to online dating, scammers are using the influx to take advantage of people using the apps. While some scammers use COVID as the reason to obtain money or personal information, others continue using the same ploys from the past ... but with more of us on the apps to take advantage of.

COVID also creates anxiety and stress around dating, partly because quarantines and stay-home orders increase isolation. And, with increased isolation, interest in meeting someone easily turns into desperation. Desperate daters easily become lax in their use of basic internet privacy strategies, and scammers quickly gain the advantage.

However, strategies to protect yourself from online dating scams can be simple to use and very effective. Here are six tips for protecting yourself while dating online.

1. Use “screener” accounts: Many apps exist to permit online daters to screen their potential new loves until certain it is safe. For example, apps exist to create phone accounts that can be used to protect your personal cell number until you know it is OK. This is particularly important currently since many banks and credit cards use caller ID to verify that the caller owns an account at the bank. Keeping your cell phone number away from scammers can help to prevent a breach of this important phone-number-based security check used by the bank.

2. Protect personal information: In the first few encounters online, scammers will often ask very personal questions right away. They request the name of your employer, your birthdate, etc. These bits of information can be used to access other personal information off social media (e.g., LinkedIn) and employer websites. Since passwords and challenge questions rely on things you know well (e.g., your dog’s name, your birthday), keep your personal information like employer names and birthdays private until you are certain of your new love’s identity.

3. Check out your new love’s image or phone number: Scammers have a tendency to move quickly to establish false trust by offering to text off of the app, over cell phones. A tell-tale sign that you’re talking with a scammer is the offer to use anonymous communication sites like WhatsApp. On WhatsApp, be careful to notice if the other person is using a business account (an unlikely reality if they are personally interested in you). You can also reverse search their phone number and, as well, reverse image search their picture. If you’re about to set-up a date with someone whose picture is that of a social media influencer in England, you might want to rethink meeting them.

4. Never give out money: While dating apps state this rule over and over, people still send money to total strangers over apps like CashApp. The ploys to obtain money include starving relatives, upcoming medical procedures, and or overdue rent. When a total stranger asks you for money, consider how odd that would be if you met them at a party or bar. Would you ever give $50 to a stranger at a bar after offering to buy a drink? Probably not.

5. Be explicit in your profile: When you sign-up for a dating app, you almost always must complete a self-description and statement of interests. Many people use ambiguous language, rather than being clear. A reasonable person would read the profile before contacting someone online, as a way of knowing if there’s compatibility. When contacted by someone, if they don’t appear to have read your profile based on their comments or questions, redirect them to the profile. If they persist in ignoring what you have written, swipe left.

6. Arrange a phone call or video chat: Most scammers hide their identity (including their country of residence) by only using text chat. You will often see frequent grammar errors and misspelled words. To be sure you know with whom you’re texting, ask for a phone call or video chat. Many of the apps have programs to promote these more personalized contacts, or you can use FaceTime or hangouts.

By using some basic strategies, you can stay much safer and avoid wasting your time with a scammer profile. Keep in mind, as well, that “hookup” or similar terms usually mean paid-for sex, and a request for “earnest” money to ensure your new love shows up for the date is really a way to steal cash. If your new lover needs money upfront, beware of their other intentions.

You can find real love and intimacy online, but be very careful. Even when the “safe” apps (e.g., Bumble) work diligently to keep out scammers, nefarious daters find their ways into the stack of cards. Don’t be their next victim.

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