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Bullying

If the President Can Cyberbullly a Teen, Why Can't I?

What we know about bullies.

Wikimedia Commons Public Domain
Greta Thunberg was a victim of cyberbullying this week
Source: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain

Last week, Greta Thunberg was in the news for two stunning reasons. First, she was selected as Time’s Person of the Year. Second, she was the victim of cyberbullying by the President of the United States.

Psychologists have studied bullying for decades. Who are these bullies? Why do they victimize others? And what are the physical and psychological effects of bullying on victims over time?

In recent years, research has expanded to include cyberbullying, too, with results suggesting that the more public nature, the permanence, and the virtual pile on of “likes” and “comments” that follow from cyberbullying posts can lead to even greater enduring consequences for victims.

Yet, when psychologists study bullying, the focus is usually on same-aged perpetrators and victims. The effects of adults attacking a child are likely stronger, perhaps especially when that adult is the President.

Greta likely is not the only victim in this case, however. One might argue humanitarianism also suffered a blow. As did environmental efforts, the health of our planet, and even the First Lady’s anti-bullying campaign.

But here I focus on a different casualty of our President’s hostile tweet: national prevention efforts to reduce bullying among teens. That’s because, in the last few days, parents and educators report that they need to find a compelling way to answer children’s questions, such as:

“If the President can cyberbully, why can’t I?”

Psychological science offers a few answers that may be helpful. First, it is probably important for teens and adults to know that there are two different reasons why people act aggressively towards one another. Calculated, cold-blooded, and strategic decisions to attack others usually reflect a subtype of bullying, referred to as “proactive aggression.”

Proactive aggressors are more likely than generally non-aggressive people to have had upbringings where they have witnessed aggression and seen it used to manipulate people. They attempt to hurt others because they feel like acting aggressively, thinking it will increase their social status. In other words, they put people down in an attempt to fool others into believing they are more dominant and powerful.

When children are proactively aggressive, it can reflect significant immaturity in knowing how to interact with others, global deficits in social skills, and an exaggerated need for approval and attention from others. As compared to children, it is far less common for adults to exhibit proactive aggression, but those who do often are at risk for a variety of traits (e.g., callousness, low empathy) that make them untrustworthy, unpredictable, and more likely to engage in criminal behavior.

Not all bullying is calculated and premeditated, however. The second subtype of bullying, referred to as reactive aggression, reflects an impulsive tendency to lash out when frustrated, angry, and hurt. Research suggests that reactive aggressors view the world through a hostile-colored lens, seeing threats and hostile slights when few others do.

A lot of people vent their frustration out loud or might misdirect their anger towards someone nearby on occasion, but the bully who frequently uses reactive aggression tends to be very disliked by others and often has difficulty keeping stable relationships, personally or professionally. Many who stay connected to a reactive aggressor may do so only to avoid becoming the subject of a future hostile attack. Some reactive aggressors have experienced hostility or neglect by their parents or caregivers, and many are at greater risk for depression, obesity, and loneliness.

Most children don’t want to become a bully, but many are seduced by the short-term gains. It is true that proactive aggression often leads to a temporary increase in status. And reactive aggression often does produce at least a momentary release of anger and distress.

As children attempt to reconcile the example set by their president with messages they have heard from other adults, it may be worth reminding them that the passing benefits of bullying do come with long-term consequences. Children who bully experience a lifetime of increased risk for unhappiness and regret. As for what happens to adults who bully children… well, I guess we will find out soon.

© Mitch Prinstein, Ph.D.

References

Mitch Prinstein, Ph.D., Author of Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships

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