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Depersonalized sexuality is typically masculine. That is why most of the customers for pornography and prostitution are still men, although this is changing as more women objectify men (1).
Evolved Gender Differences in Sexuality?
In discussing gender differences in sexuality, it is helpful to think about where they come from. These are relatively stable throughout life. It is reasonable to conclude that they have a biological component, most likely stemming from differences in brain development before birth (2). If that view of gender differences in sexual psychology is correct, then it it makes no sense to expect that it would change.
Male sexual choice involves being most attracted to women at the beginning of their age of maximum fertility (in the early twenties) because this allows men to monopolize the reproductive career of a spouse, according to evolutionary psychologists (2).
Hence the focus on visual appearance and physical attractiveness that provide cues to fertility, such as smooth skin, narrow waists, and curvaceous bodies. Some feminists might call this objectification, but is nothing more than normal masculine interest in the other sex.
For their part, women select mates on much more than physical attractiveness. In particular, they select men who have good prospects of helping them to raise children. That is probably why women, even today, pay far more attention to a potential partner's education and career potential than men do. It is also why they are less likely to objectify men.
Will Anything Change?
Even in an age of supposed gender equality, attractive women have more to gain from their sexy appearance than their male counterparts. By wearing revealing clothing, waitresses can juice up their tips. In doing so, they exploit the well-known phenomenon of men becoming super generous when they encounter alluring scantily clad women. This works because gift-giving is a feature of male courtship in virtually all societies.
The fact that men objectify women is often the subject of intense criticism, especially when such thoughts are misinterpreted as antecedents of violence against women. It scarcely matters that women increasingly objectify men's bodies, judging from their increasing interest in pornography and casual sex (1).
Clearly, the big issue is not what men are predisposed to think, but whether, and how, these thoughts are translated into action.
There is, however, a role for improved sex education. This is done better in Swedish schools than anywhere else and the focus is on responsibility in sexual matters (3). Sexual violence is exceptionally low in Sweden, reflecting a multi-year investment in sex education. Clearly, in the US, we have a lot of catching up to do if we want to make our colleges safe for women.
Sources
1 McNair, B. (2013). Porno? Chic! New York: Routledge.
2 Barber, N. (2002). The science of romance. Buffalo, NY: Prometheus.
3 Popenoe, D. (1988). Disturbing the nest: Family Change and decline in modern societies. Hawthorne, NY: Aldine de Gruyter.
