The Role of Perfectionism for Black Women in Leadership

This is the first post in a series.

We stand at a pivotal moment in history, with the unprecedented possibility of electing the first Black woman as President of the United States. If you’ve been following the media, you’ve witnessed the torrent of vitriol directed at Kamala Harris, the current Vice President and presidential candidate. The debate over her qualifications is intense, reflecting broader societal issues.

Black women, often called upon to build, sustain, and protect vital infrastructures, embody a profound capability that is frequently underestimated. Their resilience and leadership are evident despite facing a dual burden of racial and gender-based marginalization. As noted by Castelin and White (2022), Black women navigate a complex intersection of race and gender in the United States, which deeply impacts their mental health.

The “Black tax” refers to the additional burdens Black individuals—men and women—bear, having to work harder and contribute more to prove their worth, often without acknowledgement of the personal sacrifices involved (Walton, Blakey & Campbell, 2021). This dynamic underscores the cultural expectation of the “Strong Black Woman,” a stereotype demanding unwavering strength, caretaking, and nurturing. Media portrayals often reinforce these expectations, framing Black women as either the “mammy” or the resilient, successful figure holding everything together despite persistent microaggressions and marginalization.

However, the pressure to embody strength can have severe psychological repercussions. The stress, anxiety, and depression stemming from this expectation can lead to serious mental health issues, including suicidal ideation. Studies indicate that Black women are at a higher risk of post-traumatic stress disorder than their White counterparts, and systemic racism exacerbates risks for chronic conditions like hypertension and diabetes (Castelin & White, 2022). Coping mechanisms such as emotional avoidance, self-silencing, and maladaptive performance can further compound these issues.

We hear about these things, but do we really get it?

Perfectionism, a pervasive internalized pressure for flawless performance, is an unattainable ideal that exacts a high cost. Examples of perfectionist tendencies may appear as procrastination in waiting for perfect scenarios, showing up inauthentically or incongruently. It reminds me of Lupita Nyong'o’s quote: “Perfectionism is a myth. I believe the closest thing to perfection is authenticity.” Operating in a falsified identity or masking who you are can hinder growth and limit your unique voice and experiences from being shared, impeding your connection to build genuine community and collaboration.

Recognizing when to pause and care for oneself, as demonstrated by Simone Biles in the Tokyo Olympics, is crucial. As highlighted in session 254 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast with Dr. Joy Harden, the pursuit of perfection is not always necessary or healthy. Replacing perfectionism with doing your best is a more sustainable approach. Sometimes we even must avoid unhealthily striving for “Black excellence” because it can raise impossible standards especially if that is not something that's important to you. Pressures from others—community, and family—can impose unwanted expectations on the self. Some might argue that stepping back is a sign of weakness or will jeopardize their roles. However, reevaluating your approach to perfectionism is vital. Reflect on what this pursuit truly offers you and how it shapes others' perceptions of you.

Some reflection questions include:

1. What does perfectionism really achieve for you?
2. What narrative does perfectionism craft about your worth?
3. How do you feel when you say no?
4. What do I think other people think of me when I am not able to achieve a task?
5. Are there any alternatives to my current methods and approaches that I can try this week?